She walked quietly and briskly with her head down. Her hands were in the pockets of her oversized hoodies and she was breathing heavily. She had always hated the dark and walking on a dark sidewalk in the middle of the night was not where she wanted to be right now but she needed to get home as soon as possible. This street was known for being extremely dangerous and being a petite woman in her twenties did not help. She was hyper aware of every sound around her and she knew almost instantly when someone began to follow her. Her heart beat faster as he got closer and closer.
“What’s a pretty young thing like you doing all alone? Want me to walk you home and keep you safe?” he asked smirking. He had gotten so close to her by now that she could smell the alcohol in his breath and the stench of urine on his clothes. She tried to walk faster but he grabbed her shoulders trying to force her to turn around. “Don’t touch me,” she screamed. Out came the knife and in a few seconds there was blood everywhere. Three murders in one night- she was definitely going to have to burn this hoodie.
This was my first attempt at a microfiction tale- I’ve seen a lot of other bloggers do microfiction tales and I thought it would be fun to try it out myself. Let me know what you thought of it in the comments below or simply stop by and say hi because I always love hearing from you guys!
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110 thoughts on “What Happens In The Dark…”
Please finish the story
That was it
Wow! Wasn’t expecting this ending! Loved it!
Great one, i think you are going to be the next Sidney Sheldon.
Oh wow thank you that’s such a huge compliment!
‘Twas an interesting, but short schpiel. My recommendation with descriptors is : immerse yourself in that scene and describe in articulate detail(s) that come to mind. People love being entranced by the descriptors that you leave little to the imagination. Also, be wary of confusing items like: hands were in the oversized pockets of her hoodies. This will lose a literalist. How many hoodies was she wearing at this precise moment. Also : dark sidewalk. That also is a bit ambiguous. Was this particular sidewalk colored to be so dark, which would make it virtually impossible to see in the dark of night. Explain more to extract any confusion in your descriptors. I think you are definitely on the right road to write some pretty cool shit. This isn’t to be interpreted that I came to troll your or shit on your attempt, but moreover to alleviate confusion which can happen with the best of writers. Keep up the good work!
Thank you for the advice I will definitely keep it mind!
Loved the ending!!
I didn’t quite understand the ending.
Oh wow! I definitely wasn’t expecting that. You’re always keeping us on our toes!
Haha surprise endings are always the most fun to write!
The ending lol
I liked the story. It was filled with suspende.
Superb. You provided great imagery. Amazing job