Toxic Collaboration

You came into my life like a snow storm in the middle of May,

And just like that you changed my life forever,

With you I learnt to expect the unexpected,

You were the only one that saw the real me,

And you were the one that shattered me beyond recognition,

You broke me every single day and yet you always put me back together,

Your diamonds turned into rhinestones,

Your red roses turned black,

And yet I know that you will always be the only one for me

When I cared you ignored. When I was mean, you clang on. What then should I have done, when all I wanted, was all of you.

I tried to hold on even when you pushed me away. I kept waiting for you to try. Even just a little.

It was easy to hurt you, but hard to see you cry. I told myself I’d try, but in the end I always knew you’d leave me.

A small part of me died every time you made me cry, until I no longer recognized the person in the mirror. I told myself I’d stay forever, but in the end I always knew I’d leave you.

Good riddance! I say each day. I’m sorry! I mourn each night. Cradling a glass of bitter whisky, for each dark lonely hour without you.

If leaving was for the best why do I cry myself to sleep every night? Why does your face haunt me in my dreams? Do you even care that I’m gone? Every night I fall apart wishing I was falling apart in your arms. You torture my very soul without even trying.

Alas you left me, smote like ash in the embers of our love

And just like that, you changed my life forever

I heard you’re happy now; with a new beau to boot.

I wonder if like me you remember;

Each kiss, each tear, each bliss!

All the deepest darkest secrets we shared

But I know you regret nothing

Why would you–The burden is mine to carry

I will always be ash, swept away in the memories of our lost love

And I pray to never love again

For the love I bear, is a rotten love!


It’s always both an honour and nerve-wracking to collaborate with Jude Ikatali. If you are not familiar with his work, he is one of the finest poets to grace this platform and that’s why I’m always nervous to work with him but they always turn out so great (largely thanks to him) that I can never resist. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this post as it is a collaboration between the two of us. My parts are in bold italics and his are in regular italics. If you did enjoy this post, do take a minute to check out his blog. You can view it by clicking here. 

As mentioned on yesterdays post, this one was published earlier than usual because we wanted to publish them at the same time.

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39 responses to “Toxic Collaboration”

  1. I truly enjoyed this collaboration. Very nice, you guys! Very nice, indeed.

  2. Great collab you two!!!
    Lots of emotions shared!! 💕
    Pooja your part was awesome tooo… he is a great writer but sooo are you! 💕💗👏

  3. Young love…first love. When it falls apart one is never the same…yet you move on and in years that follow you mature and find a love that lasts. The fire and the pain and the past just a memory. You find peace in the present. Nice writing.

    1. 👍🏾🙏🏾

  4. Yep that attachment to the emotionally unavailable partner that you love but keeps you at a distance and you are always left wondering why or what if….

  5. I loved this so much and I hope anybody does not have to face this ever💕🤍✨

  6. Lovely. Very well written.

  7. Such an honest and poignant collaboration, beautifully written, C

  8. Bravo! Captivating, I have no other words.

  9. Fire that hath no fuel must go out…
    🇯🇲🏖️

  10. Perfect capture of a toxic love!

  11. Well-done to both of you! Toxic love beautifully captured.

  12. This collaboration was excellent but emotional.You both have done great job, Pooja💕 Love you ♥️

  13. So deep, really enjoyed it. Toxic collaboration, strong words.

    1. Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

  14. What a wonderful poem. You illustrate the conflicting feeling of a breakup so well. I often wonder about human contact and the significance each kind of contact has on our life. Some contacts are valued more than others–some are overvalued and some are undervalued. And love relationship is the most overvalued of all since we pile so much value on top of it that sometimes it cannot sustain the over-attention. Just my thought. And be vigilant and be proactive and be positive–find the best relationship and pursue the happiness that one deserves.

    1. Thank you so much. I absolutely agree that some contacts are overvalued and some undervalued. People definitely put a lot of value on love and I think that causes a lot of problems sometimes because it makes people think that they need to find love to be happy. They cling on to relationships which are making them unhappy even though they should let go.

      1. So true. People put in so much energy to build up such a charade that they are afraid to let it go. I know a couple like this, each escaping to a corner, each effacing him or herself in order to desperately fit in the frame…

        1. That’s so sad. Especially if you think about the fact that they may have missed their soul mate because they were busy being in a relationship that wasn’t good for them.

  15. Awsh, such bashful praise Pooja. I’m nervous writing with you too. You have a very good awareness of story structure and flow, and you write amazing too. 🤩🌷

    1. Thank you so much 😊 That’s a huge compliment from you ☺😊

  16. […] Toxic Collaboration […]

  17. Very beautiful write up, I enjoy it.

    1. Thank you so much.

  18. My oh my!! Captured my attention from the start

  19. Hey a beautiful, attention capturing and powerful poem!!
    Such a fantastic job done by the poets here.
    Keep doing this.

    1. Thank you so much.

  20. Ok, where is the Like button?? I’m on my laptop…

    1. It’s working on my end, maybe an issue with your laptop?

  21. […] my blog for a while, you must know Jude Itakali. I’ve reviewed multiple books of his and collaborated on a number of posts with him. Through blogging, we were able to build a friendship. And I was […]

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