5 Things I Learnt This Year

Since 2019 is almost over I thought I could do a few posts for the next few days about 2019 and what I learnt, some of my favourites and more. Hope you enjoy them!

Stop saying it’s okay- One very important thing I learnt in 2019 is to stop saying ‘it’s okay’ when people say apologise. Saying it’s okay tells the person that their behaviour is okay and that you’ll forgive them even if they repeat it. Instead I’ve learnt to say ‘thanks for apologising’ or ‘I’m glad you apologised thanks for understanding how I feel’ or something along those lines.

Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely- I started out 2019 in a relationship that wasn’t working for me so I decided to stop dating till I knew what I wanted and was ready to be in another relationship. It really helped me get to know myself better and it also helped me realise what I want in a relationship. Let me know in the comments if you guys would like a more detailed post about my past relationships/why I decided to stay single this year/what I learnt from being self partnered this year.

Be yourself- I know it’s a cliche but be yourself because everyone else is already taken. I’ve always had a hard time being myself around others but now I’ve learnt to be okay with who I am and even though I’m not exactly as comfortable being myself yet as I wish I was I’m still pretty comfortable compared to last year.

It’s okay to be emotional-  emotions are often portrayed as something negative especially when it comes to women and particularly so when it comes to women of colour. A lot of people feel the need to suppress their emotions and I felt that too. But this year I’m learning to express myself better. Plus, becoming more spiritual has really helped me a lot- shout out to my mum for helping me find more spiritual ways to deal with my emotions!

Go for it- honestly live life like you have nothing to lose. Another thing that you hear a lot but is actually really good advice. I just go for it these days even if it makes me anxious or even if I end up failing. I would rather have tried and failed and gotten experience than have been too afraid to try something new.

Let me know in the comments below what you learnt in 2019!

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54 thoughts on “5 Things I Learnt This Year

  1. Good for you. It isn’t easy to introspect like this but I’ve been in this place and you’re having a great outlook on life and talking things on and that’s awesome. I’m happy for you Pooja. You got this girl. Your posts are always interesting to read and very well put together. Your advice is on point. I’m sure I and many others learn a lot from you 🙂

  2. Good for you. As you get older, you realize that it’s better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all and then spend your time kicking yourself in the reared for missing an opportunity. But if you give it a try–and you might just succeed far beyond your expectations.

    1. Thank you and I agree I definitely realize as I get older taking the chance to try something is far more important than success or failure!

      1. You’ve got amazing wisdom for your age. I think older people have failed several times by and learned that they can still truck on, if they don’t wallow in the past.

  3. You’re such a wise little owl! Thirty years ago, I easily could’ve crushed on you but the wisdom that comes with time rather let me enjoy your persona like a good oak-matured Cabernet Sauvignon. You ;earnt well in 2019.

    I learned that life is precious, that it can pass in an instant – although I had a NDE in 1995 – and that a microscopic blood clot can cause havoc, change a personality and even affect spirituality. I also learned that children can be “too busy” to answer a phone and that older people can become very lonely.

    I learned that millennials aren’t really computer literate but excel at AngryBirds and SnapChat. But nothing more. I learned that a Baby Boomer on a crutch can be very computer literate. I was approached by younger men, on visit from India, who watched me working on my laptop in a coffee shop. They wanted to know how I managed to be adept at Linux “at my age.” So I told them that guys “my age” are the ones designing and building computers for the kids. And gadgets.

    I learned to approach total strangers and ask to take their photos. I am so shy around girls and I one day should write about my “missed opportunities” of 40, 60 years ago and become the laughing stock of WordPress.

    I learned that God’s blessing manifests in a good wife, the best on the planet.

    I learned about God’s forgiving Grace despite myself, regardless of me.

    I learned that a Pooja abroad somewhere can be intelligent conversation.

    1. Thank you so much and thanks for sharing what you have learnt as well! I agree you’re never too old to learn new things and technology is definitely not just for millennials.

  4. Such an intimate article. I’m glad you gave all this pointers especially the emotions part, I feel men should also be allowed to show emotions. LOL! Although some would hardly agree.
    It’ll be cool to see some relationship talk over here but please not too deep. Just lessons we could really take home.
    Thanks for writing this. No more it’s okay. “Thanks for apologising…”

    1. Thank you so much glad you enjoyed the post! Men are totally allowed to have and show their feelings although I agree most people would expect not to act that way.
      Hhaha thanks for the apology too lol!

  5. In my latest post i’ve talked extensively about your last point, and i couldn’t agree more with you. Life is already hard as it is, why piling up regrets on regrets? Great post, buddy! 😀

    (I didn’t have time to send you other mails or keep up with your blog…i wonder if you remember me ahah)

  6. Expressing your emotions as a woman of color. Yeah we will always be considered the angry “black” woman no matter how crazy someone treats us. We are supposed to reign in our emotions. You’re right just be yourself.

    1. Yeah I have the same problem I feel like of we express our emotions it will be somehow connected to our race instead of just women trying to express how they feel. All we can do is be our self and if people want to judge that’s their problem.

  7. Ugh I definitely need to stop saying “it’s okay” too. Your suggestions for replacements are good ones. You’re totally right, it just gives people permission to keep doing it.

  8. I have learned how to take risks. Being myself is one I learned to. I am how I am and that’s okay. I’m still learning that being emotional is okay. I think it has to do with me being overly emotional. I am still not okay with being alone.

  9. I learnt something new reading your post. I will try to incorporate not saying ‘it’s okay’ as a response to an apology.
    2019 has been a year of self-discovery for me as well. Thank you for the post 😀

  10. Wow! Thank you for this beautiful insight and great advice! You are so right with everything! All two best, I hoow you have an awesome new year!

  11. Ong the responding to an apology part was something I needed to hear today. I’m having some issues with a “friend” and I don’t want to say it’s okay to her apologies because it’s not okay, but saying thank you for apologizing will work for me. Thanks for that advice, really.

  12. I love the first point! “It’s okay” just rolls out as the best response to an apology, but you’ve definitely encouraged me to think next time. Great point !

    1. Thanks! I’ve been thinking a lot about how much meaning things we instinctively say has on our lives and how others treat us and this one really made a lot of sense to me.

  13. I just learnt something new about not saying ‘it’s okay’ when someone apologises.

    1. Yeah when I found that out for the first time what it really means when we say “it’s okay” when someone apologises. It’s kind of a reflex but definitely one that does harm in the long run.

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