I want to start this post by thanking everyone for being so kind and patient. And thank you to everyone who reached out to me while I was away from blogging- it truly meant so much to me and kept me going! I know I didn’t always have time to respond as quickly as I would have liked to but I was just so busy with university. You guys have truly become like my Internet family and you seriously have no idea how much I missed blogging and talking to you guys everyday. So much has happened with my blog and I promise I’ll tell you EVERYTHING just not today because it’s a lot to type and I’m feeling a little lazy lol. I think I just need to get used to blogging again. Oh, and thank you to everyone who liked and commented on my post yesterday!! I woke up to so many comments and was so excited. My moderation was switched on so you may not have seen your comment on the post but don’t worry they all came through. Also since this is a new account I am no longer following the blogs I followed on my last one so if I used to follow your blog could you please comment below so I can follow you again. Please and thank you.
Okay, now let me tell you guys everything that has been going on with me and my personal life because it’s been kind of insane.
What Have I Been Up To
The first thing I wanted to tell you guys is that I’ve been thinking about starting a podcast. I feel like it would be a fun extension to the blog. I love writing but I know a lot of times I end up writing super long posts that are like 1000-2000 words and not everyone has time to read those. This way I can elaborate more about stuff I talk about on my blog anyway and if you’re interested you can listen to it and if not you can just read the post and call it a day. I am probably going to do the podcast with my sister so don’t worry it won’t just be me rambling on for like half an hour.
Some of you may remember that I accidently shaved off a part of one of my eyebrows and it never grew back. Well recently I’ve been putting a bit of hemp oil on it and it’s kind of growing back so yay! I’m not sure why I felt like I needed to share that with you but I had been making a list of everything I want to tell you guys about and it was on the list so I decided to share it since at some point I felt like it was important enough that I wanted to tell you about it.
I tried a lot of new foods and drinks while I was not blogging! It gave me time to try out new recipes and I am so excited to share them with you. I also baked cookies alone for the first time in my life because I had to for my History Of Food course and they turned out really great. I will tell you all about it really soon when I talk about my courses last semester. I also watched the movie Parasite for that course and ended up making ramen w/ steak (vegan) which turned out to be the most delicious thing EVER. I also tried oat milk for the first time and I am officially obsessed with it!
Now on to some not so positive and perky things. As you guys know I have anxiety but I also have depression. I am usually fine the majority of the time but sometimes I just get super depressed. Blogging helped a lot with my depression because it gave me an outlet for my feelings and it gave me a way to process my feelings but without blogging I was just holding a lot of stuff in. I’m glad to be blogging again and feel better already.
I’ve been having a lot of weird dreams and nightmares as well. As you guys know I’m terrified of ghosts and little children ghosts in particular seriously scare me. Well the other night- like a month ago actually- I had this dream that a little girl had died in a hospital and her doctor and I were trying to find out who killed her. Then the ghost of the little girl started haunting me and trying to show me who did it and in the end it turned out it was her doctor. It was one of the scariest dreams ever but also I couldn’t help but be impressed by the plot. Like good job brain. If that was a real movie/book I would definitely watch/read it and then immediately regret everything.
Another weird thing that happened to me that has to do with sleep is that one day I started laughing in my sleep. It was the first time this has ever happened to me and it was so freaking bizarre. I literally woke up because I was laughing so hard in my sleep!! My sister was super scared and thought I was possessed. Apparently, it’s a normal and happens sometimes when you’re stressed or something. I guess it makes sense that it happened to me since like I said I was having super weird dreams for a bit and I also tend to talk in my sleep sometimes. But it was still really strange and I hope that is the first time I ever laugh in my sleep. Have you guys ever experienced this? If you have please let me know in the comments below!
Today marks my 200th day that I have been learning German on Duolingo! That’s right I have been doing lessons for 200 days in a row and I am super proud of myself food sticking with it this time. And it’s definitely paying off because I can kind of speak and understand German now which is so exciting. Learning German has been a goal of mine since I was like 16 and I have been trying to learn it on and off but I am so happy I stuck with it this time.
Even though I have not been blogging I have been writing a lot. As you know I meditate daily and for the first few months I did not really have any major break throughs or really deep thoughts. I was kind of concentrating on just learning to focus and enjoy the moment so I was not really thinking much but lately I have been trying to become more aware of the thoughts I have while meditating. I don’t try to censor or control my brain I just let myself think and see where I end up and it has seriously helped me get my thoughts in order and just really figure out what my priorities in life are and should be. It has also really helped me deal with my emotions in a more healthy way. I mean I’m not stable all the time and I can’t say I’m amazing at meditation but I am improving and I can feel myself heading in the right direction. The other day I was meditating and thinking about how I feel the need to always be in control and plan out every aspect of my life. I was also thinking about how all that really went down the drain in 2020 and pretty much everything quickly got out of my control and I wrote down something in my meditation journal that I wanted to share with you guys. This was one of my biggest meditation break throughs:
“…We spend so much time and energy fighting the universe for control of our lives that we forget there is no battle. What is going to happen is going to happen and the harder we fight the more difficult we make our own lives. From this moment on I am going to stop fighting the Universe as it is a battle I will never win. I am going to learn to go with the Universe instead of against it. If something occurs in my life I will not let it devastate me but instead see how it can improve me.”
I don’t know if that made any sense but it really did to me and the minute I understood how little control I have it was like my anxieties melted away and I felt truly free for the first time in a long time.
What Have YOU Been Up To?
Unfortunately, since I’ve been so busy with university and stuff I have not been able to really keep in touch properly so I would love to know more about what you’ve been up to! Please let me know in the comments below what you’ve been up to, if anything new has been happening in your life, your goals for 2021 or literally just anything!
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