So this is just going to be a sort of update on the post I put out yesterday. If you haven’t read it you can do so by clicking here to get a better perspective of what I’ll be talking about in this post.
I want to start by thanking everyone who commented on yesterdays post. You guys have no idea how much your kind words have touched me and just the fact that there are so many amazing people on here means so much! One of the reasons I wanted to delete the awards and go awards free is because I had associated it with negativity but thanks to all your support I feel much better about it and the posts will remain up and I will continue to accept awards on this blog and I will also continue to not pick specific nominees. I feel that my resolution to stop making new award posts and deleting the existing ones came from a place of anxiety attempting to control me and I never want to feel controlled by it. Instead I will choose to face my anxieties and attempt to work on the underlying problems causing it. My anxiety is still there but has reduced a lot and I think I should be fine by tomorrow.
The Bigger Picture
I think it was particularly frustrating and anxiety inducing for me because it really indicates the bigger problem that’s faced with the internet and the social norms that we are so used to. We are so prepared to aggressively call out and overanalyze everyone without thinking of our own actions. When I attempted to defend myself and explain my position I was told I should put some sort of disclaimer on all my posts or shut off my comments. Why should I do any of those things? I love blogging and if you have a problem with my blog then don’t read it. They claim I leave them on for validation. I can assure you this is not the case. If you’ve ever read any of my posts you will know I love interacting with everyone in the comments and hearing what you have to say. It’s not just my experience, people say that all the time- the internet is a harsh place so if you’re sensitive don’t be online. Let’s change our attitude from this. It’s not about being thick skinned or being able to take criticism it’s about doing what you love. I wish people would just let people just live their life and enjoy what they’re doing. Let’s all make a point of being kinder to one another and if something does bother you please choose your words wisely or better yet just avoid their blog/posts.
Anyway thank you again for all the amazing comments I have read every one of them and will reply as soon as I possibly can! You guys are truly amazing people!
The cover image used was created by Elaine. Her art is absolutely brilliant and has always been a source of positivity and I thought this image is perfect for this post because it really expresses how I felt after meditating about the situation and getting more control over my emotions.
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No need to rush with the comment.
Some people on the internet can be cruel sometimes. I’ve had cruel comments on my blog, as well. I guess I’ve learned to not get too worked up by those comments, especially since the majority of comments are either supportive or constructive disagreement.
Yeah I agree and I’ve got quite a few of those too but this one just seemed very personal which is why I think it got to me.
I admire your willingness to stand up for your convictions!
Thank you!
So great to see this post. Good luck PoojaG your blog is always great don’t let anyone undermine your confidence.🌻
Thank you so much I really appreciate that!
My goodness what a situation. Some folks take things so personal. Hang in there my friend and keep on blogging.
Thank you so much!
U done fantastic work…Keep up the good work..Stay blessed 🙂
Thank you!
Thank you for the update!!! And good for you for taking the time to process everything and make the decision that’s right for you.
And regarding what those commenters said about readers being entitled to opinions etc., yes, of course everyone is entitled to an opinion. But that is not the same thing as being entitled to express that opinion cruelly, especially in your own (digital) home!
Yeah absolutely there are better ways to express yourself without personally attacking someone. Thanks again I really appreciate it!
My pleasure xoxoxox
Your blogs are great👌👌 keep growing 👍
Thank you!
I def agree with you that people are often so quick to judge others online by standards that are completely unrealistic. I’m happy to see that you aren’t letting a few negative attitudes dictate what you decide to share on your blog! 🙂
Yeah it’s sad but that’s the reality of the Internet. Thank you so much!
Way to go Pooja 🙂 I’m glad you’re not deleting your awards – you earned them from all the hard work you put into your amazing blog.
Thank you I’m glad I’ve come to this decision too I think I would have regretted deleting them.
Yay!
You do you PoojaG.
Thank you!
Didn’t have time to follow up.
Hope everything’s better now girl! :[
It is thank you!!
It fascinates me that there are people who believe that if someone does a blog post, readers have some fundamental right to reply however they want. I call BS. It’s your blog, and it’s your right to control the atmosphere and tone on your blog and delete anything that makes you feel crappy.
The internet is a place where people feel it is appropriate to post all of the things that they normally mumble under their breaths. As if since it was typed, it’s important and everybody is going to really give it some thought. Maybe it’s a symptom of people bonding through cynicism and crisis… they’re seeking validation for their negativity (which is really just from not eating breakfast, having a hangover, or not getting enough sleep).
I work with two women who constantly bicker back and forth to each other all day, right behind me. It drives me nuts and I think to myself “how can anyone be this miserable on purpose?” but it’s how they relate to one another. All I can say is thank God for headphones.
It does suck to just say “haters gon’ hate” but I don’t think that’s a way to say “oh well let’s just be rude to each other” it’s more like just throwing your hands up and accepting that once in a while some asshole will wander in and piss in your breakfast.
An unfortunate thing I’ve learned about our brains is that we always notice the negative far more than the positive. We have people on all of our posts telling us that we’re great writers, they agree with us, etc. but once one person comes in and says something critical, all those positive comments disappear from our memories. That’s why I love what you say about fostering a loving community because as we saw from your last post, the positive comments AFTER the negative one did have a great effect on you.
I’ve resolved to only say positive things in comments here (in comments, not necessarily my posts lmao), on Twitter, and so on. I’m not perfect and sometimes somebody says something so stupid I can’t stop myself from typing something, but I am usually able to prevent myself from pressing “send”, lol.
I absolutely agree. Yes it’s really sad how our brain tends to fixate on negatives but through practice we can change that habit and like you said positivity also has a positive impact like it did with me.
I also only say positive things in the comments. If I don’t like someone’s post I just ignore it or if I don’t like their blog I unfollow them instead of leaving comments.
Whenever you put yourself out there and are genuine, there are going to be people who don’t like you, it’s just the law of averages. Let’s say only 10% of your 13.5K followers actually read your posts. That’s trying to keep 1,350 happy. It’s impossible, and if you could do that, you’d be the dullest person on earth. If people don’t like your blog, they can stop reading it. I stopped accepting awards just because it didn’t really fit the theme of my blog, not because I was too good for them and I also never wanted to nominate anyone for fear of leaving someone out. It doesn’t feel good to be left out. As a kid I was all the time, so when I saw you doing that, I understood you were being nice. And finally, don’t beat yourself up if you happen to be vain and conceited once in a while. Don’t make a habit of it, but sometimes we feel good about ourselves and carry it a bit too far.
Thanks and I absolutely agree with you!
Beautiful 🙂
Good for you, what a great outcome. Take care.
Thank you!
🙂 The day asks an awful lot from the human spirit. You are not alone.
Thank you so much!
Beautiful post (and I just went back and read yesterday’s too ❤) Having dealt with panic for a good portion of my life, I understand the triggers. I know how easily they can get attached to a specific word/smell/event and haunt you for years to come. Consequently, I also understand acting from that place and simply wanting the anxiety to end. And eliminating the problem at the cause of the trigger seems to (temporarily) do that. But I’m so SO glad that you reconsidered and decide to keep on with what you love. That takes real courage and I applaud you for that. Every time you look your fear and anxiety in the face and carry on in spite of it, you win. The haters will hate and I feel sorry for them, but you keep on spreading the light. This world needs so much more of that ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for your comment and understanding I really appreciate it!
Brave posts , good for you x
Thank you!
I’m so sorry all of this happened to you! It is truly a terrible feeling when you get a negative comment out of nowhere. I received some advice on a similar situation from my therapist last week, and I hope it helps you, too. She said we all come to a piece of text with our own unique set of perspectives. We just can’t control how others interpret our work. (She recommended reading the Editorial section of gossip magazines to see how people could read the same little interview and arrive at two wildly different conclusions!) I hope you are feeling better as time passes! I pray you have courage, strength, and peace as you keep on writing!
Thank you so much for sharing that advice it definitely helps and thanks for your comment!
This is the right outcome. Well done to you for staying strong and being true to yourself.
Thank you so much!
Pooja I just skimmed over the situation and sorta get it… I’ll just generally say that I think you are doing a great job… trying out new things… innovating… and when we blog we have to deal with a huge variety of people.
Sometimes they misread our intent and react negatively. I had that once when volunteering at the old Allexperts.com. A lady in the US said was “going to get me” (in very graphic terms) as soon as she came up to Canada! It rattled me a bit but I just ignored it. My gut told me she was just angry and not going to jump a plane to maul me!
I’m glad you are still in Canada (?). Hadn’t heard from you in a while and thought you might have vamoosed! 😁
Yeah I guess that’s what happens when you put yourself our there. Sorry about that lady that’s a crazy overreaction to have to someones post.
Yes I am still very much in Canada!!
Yay! 😃
So glad you took your power back!
Me too I think I would have regretted it if I had deleted the posts.
This is why I skip out on blogger awards in the first place. Not only is it bait for networking but the pressure would kill me. With that said, I’ve seen some folks who do this perfectly fine and seem super content with networking with others and helping each other grow 🤷♀️ It seems fun but not enough for the pressure that comes with it.
Yeah I find it kind of very pressuring which is one of the reasons I don’t nominate others I don’t want to pressure anyone into doing these.
I”m glad you are going to keep doing award posts. :)))
Me too I want to keep doing something I enjoy and if people find them offensive they are free to not read them!
Exactly. You do you!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to trust your instincts, hold true to your convictions or values and never negotiate on what you believe in.
This is your space and you have worked hard to grow your garden.
Say what you please and please don’t moderate what you say.
If someone is offended or disagrees, let them establish their own platform for their beliefs.
Yeah I agree I’ve realised after thinking about it some more that I don’t owe anyone an explanation for what I write and if they don’t enjoy it they are more than welcome to not follow my blog.
I’m sorry you went through that. Honestly people should not have anything to say about what is on your blog . If they don’t like it, they don’t have to look at it. You having awards posted is your business girl and I’m proud of you for choosing to keep them on here . You deserve to be able to do that and be proud of the work you do. Your blog is awesome and so are you.
Thank you I was taken aback but I decided I blog for me not for anyone’s approval so I decided to keep the awards posts.
I’m really happy you did decide to keep them. We’re all on our own journeys and should be encouraging one another. Good for you 🙂
I had someone leave comments that made me question the way I take care of my husband. 3 days it caused major anxiety,. Not anymore I am over it. I know best.
Thanks for sharing that it makes me feel better I’m not alone. I feel that comments like that have more to do with them then us and it’s best to just do what you feel is best.
I am ignoring any like that. ☺
Keep going babes
Thank you!
Hey Pooj – don’t worry about negativity. You should see some of the stuff I’ve had. I’ve had threats to kill me an my family. It’s life. You’re doing great. Don’t worry about it.
I’ve stopped doing any of the award stuff. It was more hassle than it was worth. It started as a good idea but ……
So carry on – all’s good! You’ve got loads of friends!
Thank you so much Opher and yes unfortunately negativity is a part of being on the Internet.