Collaborations

Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No

by Pooja G

Hello Everyone, my names Olivia and I am from OliviaLucieBlake blog! I’m excited to be doing this collaboration with LifesfineWhine. We decided to speak on the topic of ‘How to Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No‘ because it’s something a lot of people struggle with. I have at times too in the past.
It’s hard sometimes to be assertive and tell people no sometimes isn’t it? I think we could all do with a lesson in assertiveness and not doing things we don’t want to. Together we’ll be sharing 10 tips, 5 tips here on Pooja’s blog and 5 tips over on my blog. So, let’s get started!

BE DIRECT

Let’s learn how to be more direct in our answers. If you don’t want to do something then it’s important that you gain confidence in yourself to say no. Replying “I’ll think about it” or “Maybe” isn’t the right approach. Whenever I have to tell someone no, I tend to not give a reason until they ask for one. And even then, you don’t have to. Remember you don’t owe anybody an explanation; a simple no is enough.

DEFINE YOUR BOUNDARIES

Defining boundaries can be difficult and can hurt some people at times, but remember that you need to make sure you have the energy for your loved ones and those that you need you. Don’t waste your energy on people who don’t deserve it or don’t care to understand.
Be kind to yourself, don’t feel guilty for doing this.

IDENTIFY YOUR PRIORITIES

What is most important to you? We need to learn what’s the most important to us as individuals. This will help in your decision making on whether to say yes or no to something. We tend to know our priorities in work or school but why don’t we do the same for our lives? I think having more of a prioritisation in life will help when making decisions.

YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE

This is the most important one of all. If you are being pulled in various different directions, remember that you can’t do everything. It’s okay to say no to prioritise something else in your life. It’s okay to say no to prioritise your own mental wellbeing. Don’t feel bad or ashamed to do it. It’s your life, your choice. Which follows on perfectly to point number 5!

IT’S YOUR CHOICE

Ultimately, it’s your choice. You are the owner of your life; you call the shots. Remember how powerful your voice is.
I hoped you like my 5 tips on this subject and I hope it can help anybody who feels like they can’t say no. Don’t forget to head over to my blog to read the 5 tips Pooja has given on this important topic too! Thanks for reading!
Olivia x
Check out Olivia’s amazing blog by clicking here. Check out my five tips by clicking here.

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115 thoughts on “Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No”

  3. Thank you for this! It’s something I keep working on! Another thing is you have to train your instincts to say no if you are too stuck on “instinctively” saying yes

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  6. I struggle with being direct when it comes to saying no. Someway I think it’s related to point three. I just feel like I need to be nice which most times ends up making me prioritise myself less. The points are connected but I really hope I get that CONFIDENCE and POWER to simply say NO when I need to.
    Thanks for sharing this 😅

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    2. You can be nice and respectful and still say no…Also, I like to tell a person “NO” sometime to see if they will act different towards me. I say that because if a person starts to act different from you telling them NO in a respectful way they probably were just trying to use you anyhow.

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  10. Good post… I take pride in being a direct person, since it’s not all about what you say always but how you say it. Plus, when you’re direct there shouldn’t be no miscommunication to occur. Last, if you struggle with saying “No” ask yourself will the person asking you for something be willing to do the same in return if you came to them… If the answer is “No” hopefully that helps you to not feel as bad telling them that.

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      1. Its beautiful how societal issues are discussed by many a writers including you.
        Apart from artistic work we also need such works to remind us we have a responsibility of making our lives less miserable.

        Reply

  12. Very sound advice. How to be assertive without being rude. It’s difficult. I think the first thing is to be clear in your mind what your own priorities are. I wish everything was black and white. We are so often unsure.

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  13. This is really amazing. I had issues with saying no to anything and everything while growing up. After working on my confidence and self esteem, I have reached a much better space in my life. The most important point to keep in mind is that we can’t please everyone, like you’ve mentioned in the article. Then what is the point in trying so hard to live your life for others.

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    1. Glad you enjoyed the post! I had the same problem but I think as we get older we realise that we can’t please everyone and their reaction to us saying no is their problem not ours. Thanks for the comment!

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  17. Great tips. I especially love the point that you can’t please everyone. Learning this saves a person a lot of heart ache. I also love the point you raised in your tips ‘No is a complete sentence.’ Thanks for sharing.

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  19. No is one of the most powerful words in language. This is a great piece. Its important to be mindful how you use this powerful word but when you are able to use it more and empower yourself there are marked differences in the way people treat you.

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  20. Reminds me of Jim Carey’s “Yes man”. He couldn’t say no to anything. Most times I’m like this mainly because I’ve faced a fair share of NO’s in my life and I remember how disappointing it feels like so I prefer not to disappoint people. However, it takes a toll on me so I will apply your 10tips see how it works out. Thanks!

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    1. I have a similar problem too- I just really never want to hurt anyone’s feelings because like you I have also been at the receiving end of it and it does not feel good. But sometimes there are situations where you do need to say no and prioritize yourself. Hope these tips help!

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  22. A great post indeed! I am a kind of person who says yes to everything when I don’t even want to just because I feel I would hurt the other person. But It’s very important to say no when you really want to otherwise in my experience it could also lead to a heartbreak or breaking someone’s trust. 😊😄

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    1. So glad you enjoyed the post! It’s true- a lot of times we don’t want to say no because we don’t want to hurt the person but it’s definitely a necessity.

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  23. This is something I used to really struggle with in my career. I’m from the south in the U.S., and we’re all about manners down here. Sometimes saying no is considered “rude,” so I have had to learn to be okay with being rude. Honestly, it has helped so much.
    Thank you for discussing a topic that is often ignored in our society! Great advice! I wish I had read it a few years ago 😬

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  29. I used to (and still do sometimes) find it hard to tell people no. Even though it hasn’t gotten me into that much of a problem, it usually leaves me drained, I try to tell myself everyday I can’t please anyone and should learn to be direct when it comes to turning them down, without feeling bad. I hope I can get to a place where it wouldn’t be hard for me to say no to people. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. I had the same problem and still sometimes do. When I have to say no I get all anxious and uncomfortable and end up saying yes just to avoid saying no. But after practicing and forcing myself to say no more often I feel like I’ve gotten better. I think you will be able to say no more easily once you practice it for a while.

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  30. This is so relatable..I am sure most of us has faced this sort of situation where we fail to say the direct ans with confident. It’s beautifully written and everyone should go through the points written above👏

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  32. I really enjoy reading this post. When I want to no! I say yes because I don’t want to hurt their feelings but I’m not thinking about my wellbeing which not okay.

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  35. Saying no used to be so hard for me. I love how you included that its ultimately your choice. It really is! This post is a wonderful reminder to me and I know to so many others. Thank you!

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  36. I like your blogs… I’m a baby blogger and just started blogging a month back.. could you please give me some tips on how to create followers on WordPress. Thank you ❤️

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      1. Thank you for reply… I went through your post and it is really helpful.. there is one more thing I wanted to ask.. I’m still working on WordPress free website as I was not sure initially If I can do this… Do you think I should go for paid plans and which host do you suggest?
        Thank for your time here!
        I really appreciate ❤️

        Reply

        1. Paid plans do have their perks for sure and if you can afford it I would highly recommend switching to a paid plan as soon as you see that your blog is growing. If you don’t have a lot of free time on your hands I would recommend the WordPress paid plans but if you do have extra time and also are good at technology I would definitely recommend looking into self-hosting as it can be a lot more affordable and you get a lot of options with it. You’re welcome!

          Reply
  40. Pingback: Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No – Hindi news .org

  41. Most times in our lives we will know the right answer for us. We will feel in our bones what we actually want to do. Having the courage to say ‘no’ when that is what will be most beneficial to us is a great skill to practise, and these tips really are useful ones. Thank you for sharing.

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  45. I used to be unable to say no, but somewhere, somehow things changed. I’ve recently been accused of always saying no. The realization that people will just keep using you (when they realize you’re a people pleaser) until they ‘use you up’ and still not be satisfied, really helped me snap out of it.
    Great post ladies❤️

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    1. Thank you! I am so glad you were able to realise that and honestly people who say that you say no too much are probably just pissed off that they can’t get you to do whatever they want anymore.

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  46. We hesitate to say no because we don’t want to make feel someone bad and ruin our relation with them, but it is very true that we can’t please everyone.

    Reply

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