Hello Everyone, my names Olivia and I am from OliviaLucieBlake blog! I’m excited to be doing this collaboration with LifesfineWhine. We decided to speak on the topic of ‘How to Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No‘ because it’s something a lot of people struggle with. I have at times too in the past.
It’s hard sometimes to be assertive and tell people no sometimes isn’t it? I think we could all do with a lesson in assertiveness and not doing things we don’t want to. Together we’ll be sharing 10 tips, 5 tips here on Pooja’s blog and 5 tips over on my blog. So, let’s get started!
BE DIRECT
Let’s learn how to be more direct in our answers. If you don’t want to do something then it’s important that you gain confidence in yourself to say no. Replying “I’ll think about it” or “Maybe” isn’t the right approach. Whenever I have to tell someone no, I tend to not give a reason until they ask for one. And even then, you don’t have to. Remember you don’t owe anybody an explanation; a simple no is enough.
DEFINE YOUR BOUNDARIES
Defining boundaries can be difficult and can hurt some people at times, but remember that you need to make sure you have the energy for your loved ones and those that you need you. Don’t waste your energy on people who don’t deserve it or don’t care to understand.
Be kind to yourself, don’t feel guilty for doing this.
IDENTIFY YOUR PRIORITIES
What is most important to you? We need to learn what’s the most important to us as individuals. This will help in your decision making on whether to say yes or no to something. We tend to know our priorities in work or school but why don’t we do the same for our lives? I think having more of a prioritisation in life will help when making decisions.
YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE
This is the most important one of all. If you are being pulled in various different directions, remember that you can’t do everything. It’s okay to say no to prioritise something else in your life. It’s okay to say no to prioritise your own mental wellbeing. Don’t feel bad or ashamed to do it. It’s your life, your choice. Which follows on perfectly to point number 5!
IT’S YOUR CHOICE
Ultimately, it’s your choice. You are the owner of your life; you call the shots. Remember how powerful your voice is.
I hoped you like my 5 tips on this subject and I hope it can help anybody who feels like they can’t say no. Don’t forget to head over to my blog to read the 5 tips Pooja has given on this important topic too! Thanks for reading!
Olivia x
Check out Olivia’s amazing blog by clicking here. Check out my five tips by clicking here.
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It is easier these days to say no when you really mean no. Time changes things. 🙂
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I’m very thankful for that!
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True!
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I used to HATE saying “no” when I was younger. I always feared I’d hurt someone’s feelings if I did. I’m glad I stopped. This was great!
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I was the same way but sometimes we need to have boundaries and saying no is necessary. Glad you enjoyed the post!
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Thank you for this! It’s something I keep working on! Another thing is you have to train your instincts to say no if you are too stuck on “instinctively” saying yes
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Thank you! Yes I actually mentioned that on the post I did for Olivia’s blog!
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Yes, because some people prey on people that are real nice and will use them up until they can’t anymore.
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Thanks for the tips!
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Hope they help!
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They certainly did.
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So glad to hear that!
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Thanks Olivia! Pooja, thanks for the guest blogger!
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Glad you enjoyed the post!
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So glad you enjoyed! ☺️
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I struggle with being direct when it comes to saying no. Someway I think it’s related to point three. I just feel like I need to be nice which most times ends up making me prioritise myself less. The points are connected but I really hope I get that CONFIDENCE and POWER to simply say NO when I need to.
Thanks for sharing this 😅
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I am the same way- I can be a bit of a people pleaser or pushover so I find it hard to say no too. Glad you enjoyed the post!
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You can be nice and respectful and still say no…Also, I like to tell a person “NO” sometime to see if they will act different towards me. I say that because if a person starts to act different from you telling them NO in a respectful way they probably were just trying to use you anyhow.
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True talk. This is helpful. Thanks, AD💚
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You’re welcome…
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Somehow * 💚*
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Super tips 😁
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Glad you enjoyed them!
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This is a skill that we have to learn. Great post. Thank you, Olivia and Pooja.
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Thank you for reading☺️☺️
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So glad you enjoyed the post! Yes it is a very necessary skill.
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Absolutely!
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Good post… I take pride in being a direct person, since it’s not all about what you say always but how you say it. Plus, when you’re direct there shouldn’t be no miscommunication to occur. Last, if you struggle with saying “No” ask yourself will the person asking you for something be willing to do the same in return if you came to them… If the answer is “No” hopefully that helps you to not feel as bad telling them that.
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Thank you for that advice it’s definitely helpful!
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Thought provoking
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Glad you thought so!
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Its beautiful how societal issues are discussed by many a writers including you.
Apart from artistic work we also need such works to remind us we have a responsibility of making our lives less miserable.
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I absolutely agree. As people with platforms we need to do our part in bettering society and helping people that need it.
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Exactly..so far you’re already doing a good job.
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Thanks that really means a lot!
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🥰
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Very sound advice. How to be assertive without being rude. It’s difficult. I think the first thing is to be clear in your mind what your own priorities are. I wish everything was black and white. We are so often unsure.
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Yeah that’s the problem there are so many grey areas. It can be very unpredictable and that’s difficult.
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This is really amazing. I had issues with saying no to anything and everything while growing up. After working on my confidence and self esteem, I have reached a much better space in my life. The most important point to keep in mind is that we can’t please everyone, like you’ve mentioned in the article. Then what is the point in trying so hard to live your life for others.
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Glad you enjoyed the post! I had the same problem but I think as we get older we realise that we can’t please everyone and their reaction to us saying no is their problem not ours. Thanks for the comment!
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Everything depend on time.
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Yes that’s very true.
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Welcome
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Everything depend on time. Thanks for nice sharing.
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Thank you!
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I find it really difficult to say No at times to some people. But I guess it’s not necessary to please everyone and have to say it. Nice post. 🙂👍
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Glad you enjoyed it! Yes sometimes you need to say no even if it pisses someone off.
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Great tips. I especially love the point that you can’t please everyone. Learning this saves a person a lot of heart ache. I also love the point you raised in your tips ‘No is a complete sentence.’ Thanks for sharing.
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So glad you enjoyed the post! Olivia absolutely hit the nail on the head with that one for sure!
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Very sound advice
Thank you
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So glad you think so!
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❤
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No is one of the most powerful words in language. This is a great piece. Its important to be mindful how you use this powerful word but when you are able to use it more and empower yourself there are marked differences in the way people treat you.
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I absolutely agree- if you used correctly saying no can be very empowering. Thank you for the comment!
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Reminds me of Jim Carey’s “Yes man”. He couldn’t say no to anything. Most times I’m like this mainly because I’ve faced a fair share of NO’s in my life and I remember how disappointing it feels like so I prefer not to disappoint people. However, it takes a toll on me so I will apply your 10tips see how it works out. Thanks!
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I have a similar problem too- I just really never want to hurt anyone’s feelings because like you I have also been at the receiving end of it and it does not feel good. But sometimes there are situations where you do need to say no and prioritize yourself. Hope these tips help!
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You and me both.
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Love It 😻
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Thank you so much!
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A great post indeed! I am a kind of person who says yes to everything when I don’t even want to just because I feel I would hurt the other person. But It’s very important to say no when you really want to otherwise in my experience it could also lead to a heartbreak or breaking someone’s trust. 😊😄
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So glad you enjoyed the post! It’s true- a lot of times we don’t want to say no because we don’t want to hurt the person but it’s definitely a necessity.
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Yaay! I definitely did. Very true. 🤗☺️🎀
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This is something I used to really struggle with in my career. I’m from the south in the U.S., and we’re all about manners down here. Sometimes saying no is considered “rude,” so I have had to learn to be okay with being rude. Honestly, it has helped so much.
Thank you for discussing a topic that is often ignored in our society! Great advice! I wish I had read it a few years ago 😬
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Glad you enjoyed the post and yes sometimes being rude is a necessity!
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Great post! Needed that for sure.
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So glad to hear that!
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Thank you for sharing, Olivia
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Love your collab as well as the topic. Great!
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Thank you so much!
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I needed this post so much, especially today!
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So glad to hear that!!
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Great post! Sometimes saying no makes me feel like I’ve hurt the person especially so directly, so I often try to add “sorry” or “I wouldn’t”
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Yeah it does suck to have to say no and giving an explanation or apologising does help to ease the pain sometimes.
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Thanks for the affirmation.
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Wonderful collaboration, great and inspiring post
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Thank you so much!
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I used to (and still do sometimes) find it hard to tell people no. Even though it hasn’t gotten me into that much of a problem, it usually leaves me drained, I try to tell myself everyday I can’t please anyone and should learn to be direct when it comes to turning them down, without feeling bad. I hope I can get to a place where it wouldn’t be hard for me to say no to people. Thanks for sharing.
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I had the same problem and still sometimes do. When I have to say no I get all anxious and uncomfortable and end up saying yes just to avoid saying no. But after practicing and forcing myself to say no more often I feel like I’ve gotten better. I think you will be able to say no more easily once you practice it for a while.
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This is so relatable..I am sure most of us has faced this sort of situation where we fail to say the direct ans with confident. It’s beautifully written and everyone should go through the points written above👏
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Glad you enjoyed the post! I agree everyone has been in a situation where you couldn’t say no even when you wanted to.
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I really enjoy reading this post. When I want to no! I say yes because I don’t want to hurt their feelings but I’m not thinking about my wellbeing which not okay.
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So glad you enjoyed the post! Yes sometimes we need to think of our own well being first.
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Super interesting post! Even though I have gotten much better when it comes to saying no, I feel like I still need some practice ! 😅
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Practice definitely helps!
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Saying no used to be so hard for me. I love how you included that its ultimately your choice. It really is! This post is a wonderful reminder to me and I know to so many others. Thank you!
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So glad you enjoyed the post and yes I totally agree ta the end of the day it’s your choice whether to say yes or no!
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I like your blogs… I’m a baby blogger and just started blogging a month back.. could you please give me some tips on how to create followers on WordPress. Thank you ❤️
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Thank you! You can check out the blogging advice posts I have: https://lifesfinewhine.com/category/advice/
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Thank you for reply… I went through your post and it is really helpful.. there is one more thing I wanted to ask.. I’m still working on WordPress free website as I was not sure initially If I can do this… Do you think I should go for paid plans and which host do you suggest?
Thank for your time here!
I really appreciate ❤️
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Paid plans do have their perks for sure and if you can afford it I would highly recommend switching to a paid plan as soon as you see that your blog is growing. If you don’t have a lot of free time on your hands I would recommend the WordPress paid plans but if you do have extra time and also are good at technology I would definitely recommend looking into self-hosting as it can be a lot more affordable and you get a lot of options with it. You’re welcome!
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Super helpful.. thank you for being descriptive 👍
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You’re very welcome!
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YASSS, I’ve read this post at Livy’s and boi, it’s a great post! xx
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Thank you so much!!
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direct concise and excellent advise!!!! nice collaborations
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Thank you so much- so glad you enjoyed it!
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You’re so welcome.. I wouldn’t change one thing and for me that’s a great compliment.. lol
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That’s so sweet!!
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True, Girl!
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Most times in our lives we will know the right answer for us. We will feel in our bones what we actually want to do. Having the courage to say ‘no’ when that is what will be most beneficial to us is a great skill to practise, and these tips really are useful ones. Thank you for sharing.
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I absolutely agree- thanks for commenting!
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The You can’t please everybody nice bc I always try to please everybody lol
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Unfortunately a lot of us are like that but definitely something we can work on!
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This post is for me😂
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Hope it helps!
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FUN!!
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Thanks!
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I used to be unable to say no, but somewhere, somehow things changed. I’ve recently been accused of always saying no. The realization that people will just keep using you (when they realize you’re a people pleaser) until they ‘use you up’ and still not be satisfied, really helped me snap out of it.
Great post ladies❤️
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Thank you! I am so glad you were able to realise that and honestly people who say that you say no too much are probably just pissed off that they can’t get you to do whatever they want anymore.
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We hesitate to say no because we don’t want to make feel someone bad and ruin our relation with them, but it is very true that we can’t please everyone.
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Yeah I definitely agree that we don’t want to hurt/disappoint so we end up saying yes.
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Excellent co-lab. Pooja. we must do this. I think.
Olivia. I followed your blog. well done.
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Thank you and so glad you followed her she’s amazing!
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