I love the person I've become And I look forward to the person I'll be But some days I weep for the girl I was She was filled with flaws And far from perfect But she was so innocent and trusting She had hopes and dreams She was ready to believe that the world was hers to conquer She didn't realise that the world would conquer her I look back at her and I can't help but to loathe this new me When did I let the world break me And turn me into a jaded conformist With every part of me that changed A part of my soul died with it Little by little my lust for life disappeared I used to fight to be anything other than normal And now I just bow down and surrender to normalcy I'm not the walrus, I'm not the eggman I'm not Lola, I'm not the apeman I've become comfortably numb I love the person I've become But she'll never be as good as who I was
I don’t want to dumb this poem on you guys and dip so I’ll just explain a little about what I was thinking when I wrote this poem. It was very late at night, I had woken up for a drink of water and this kind of just came to me. I think it’s because over the last few days I have been thinking a lot about my past as well as my future. And going back to who I was as a teenager really brought out stronger emotions in me than I thought they would. As a teenager I had such big dreams and it’s kind of a slap in the face knowing that I am slowly becoming a cliché adult. Don’t get me wrong, I really do love who I am now. I have grown so much and I am so much happier than I ever was as a teenager but there are some parts of me that I’ve lost along the way that I wish I hadn’t. I guess it’s just that I’ve been so used to living with my head in the clouds it feels weird having to come down now and get back to real life.
The last part of the poem is just a reference to some of my favourite songs from the 60’s and 70’s. As you guys know I absolutely love music from that era and listen to it all the time so I end up thinking about the lyrics very often and they pop into my head a lot. If you can name the songs I’ve referenced and who they’re by you’ll win this cake emoji 🍰 (Actual cake may differ, terms and conditions apply)
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this poem. It’s a bit dark but it’s what I was thinking and you guys know that I always try to keep it real on here. If I’m thinking it I’ll probably share it. It doesn’t mean I’m in a dark place at all though- I’m very happy and satisfied with who I am as an adult. I think I just need to stop comparing teenage me and adult me because they are two separate people at this point. And that’s okay because that’s how you grow!
I want to end this post on a happier note so I’ll share this song which always makes me feel better:
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