My laptop was trying to type 52 instead of 25 but I assure you I am only turning 25 today. It’s been a crazy journey to 25 and so much has happened in the last few years with moving multiple times first to Canada and then back to Kenya. Getting my degree in History and finally graduating. Meeting so many amazing people both online and in person. Starting to work online full-time as a freelancer. The list goes on and on.
I generally don’t like birthdays very much. For some reason, they always end up being disappointing or sad for some reason. I feel like my birthday is on a bit of an odd day as it is and it just seems to have some sort of a bittersweet energy around it. Hoping this one will be different though, but let’s see.
A small part of me didn’t think I would make it to 25 and I’m happy for myself that I did. I also didn’t think I would have this much grey hair or forehead wrinkles but I have only the wonderful genes my parents gave me to thank for those.
I feel like twenty-five is one of those years that signal the end of my young adulthood and I think I’m finally fully an adult now. It’s weird. I have random shoulder pains now.
Anyway, enough rambling. I’m very hangry right now waiting for my food to arrive so that may be the cause of the rambling. Just started writing again after eating and feeling much more stable (but not fully). Before I get hungry again, here are five lessons I have learnt in my 25 years of existence although I would disregard the first 10 years or so because I was just a kid and barely conscious.
5 Lessons I’ve Learnt At 25
- People kind of suck- I know- I’m starting this out super positive. Just kidding. But not about people sucking. I’ve learnt over the years that a lot of people sucks. Especially with the pandemic. I think it brought out the worst in some people and made me conscious of a lot of horrible things. HOWEVER, it did also bring out the best in some people. I have also learnt in these 25 years that some people are absolutely wonderful, kind and amazing. Don’t cut yourself off because you’ve had a few bad experiences. Be cautious but also be open.
- A positive mindset goes a long way- when we constantly expect the worst that’s what the Universe will deliver to us. If we expect something good (although be prepared for the worst too) we are more likely to succeed and we will also remain on our path since we have a positive attitude towards the future and are much less likely to give up.
- Imperfection is fine- I can be a bit of a perfectionist and like to be the best at what I do. This has helped me in many ways but it’s also made my life much more difficult in some ways. It made me want to never try new things since I was afraid of failure and that made me miserable. Now, I know that perfection is impossible to achieve and chasing after it only brings misery. That’s why, now I try with the mindset of “if it works out that’s great and if it doesn’t that’s okay too.” It’s not always easy to keep this mindset since I am who I am and it’s hard to change but I’m working at it and hoping for the best.
- Negative feelings are fine- I am a repressor to my core. If I could I would repress everything. However, that’s obviously not a healthy way to deal with anything ever. As humans we experience a spectrum of feelings and each of these feelings no matter how difficult to bare has a place and purpose in our life. They exist for a reason and we feel for a reason (unless you are a sociopath in which case please disregard this point entirely). Toxic positivity has sort of pushed this agenda of we have to be happy all the time but it doesn’t work like that. No one is happy all the time and if you truly believe you are happy all the time you may want to seek help. Over time, I have learnt to accept the bad with the good. It’s difficult but it’s best longterm. Not always, I still repress sometimes but I’m getting better.
- Know your boundaries- I’m a bit of a people pleaser and that has taught me how important boundaries are. If you let them, people will walk all over you. It’s okay to be kind and help others but it’s also okay to have boundaries and say “no” when you have to.
5 New Goals
- Learn to play the guitar- it’s something I have wanted to do for years but was never able to. I really wanted to play as a teenager but couldn’t afford to buy myself a guitar. However, I have been saving for a few months now so that I can finally get one and learn to play. I don’t know if I’ll be great at it but I want to give it a try at least.
- Letting things go- I’m a bad tempered person and I have a hard time letting things go. I always get people in my comments saying I don’t seem bad tempered but trust me I am. I’m quick to anger and I hold on to it. You do not want to be anywhere near me when I’m mad. However, I don’t want to be like that anymore. I am trying to be more evenly tempered and sensitive to what others are going through.
- Read more- after starting university, I feel like I have been reading so much less than I used. I went through multiple books a week when I was younger. Although I know that’s not possible anymore since I have adult responsibilities now, I still want to read when I can. I want to read at least 12 books in the next twelve months.
- Travel- one thing that has become abundantly clear over the last few years is that at the end all we have left is our memories and I plan to make as many of them this year as possible. I want to travel as much as I can both nationally and abroad. I think it’s better now with restrictions decreasing in most places. Of course, I’ll still try to be safe as much as possible but I don’t want to put my life on hold anymore.
- Learn new things- just because I am done with university doesn’t mean I have to stop learning. I want to continue to read more about history as well as other things I am interested in and learn more about the world. I also want to pick up new hobbies and learn new skills because in my opinion you’re never too old to learn new things. I am currently reading a fascinating book that’s already teaching me so much so yay!
Well, if you’re reading this I’m probably officially twenty-five years old. This is my last chance to score a date with Leonardo DiCaprio (in case you don’t get that joke, it’s funny because he never dates anyone older than 25). I have a lot to look forward to at 25 and some things that I am not really looking forward to. It’s a bittersweet birthday but I hope to make the most of it. Hope to share more about my birthday and how I celebrated it soon!
Let me know what your twenties were/are like in the comments below.
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