Cursed To Be Alone Forever

On The Brink Of Collapse

Cursed to be alone forever

I roam these empty halls

The memories I so much savour

Are just stories belonging to these walls

Cursed to be alone forever

Because you are only real in my dreams

I thought we would always be together

But it never is what it seems

Cursed to be alone forever

By my own choice

A life devoid of pleasure

Never finding my voice

“Cursed To Be Alone Forever” is a poem I wrote a while back and didn’t really decide to post until today. I’ve talked about this before but I’ll talk about it again. Because you know, it’s my blog and I do what I want on it. Anyway, I feel like I’m one of those people that are just meant to be alone. It’s not that I don’t want to meet someone and be in a happy relationship. It’s just that I know that’s never going to happen for me. I don’t like other people and I’m someone who really appreciates being on my own. I’m fine with this for the most part but once in a while I do get lonely.

And sometimes it’s like am I making the right choice? I know it’s the best choice in the long run but sometimes I get skeptical.

Wow, didn’t mean to dumb all that on you guys lol. At the end of the day a hotdog is just a hotdog and a poem is just a poem. Maybe I need to stop reading too much into things… Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

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105 thoughts on “Cursed To Be Alone Forever

  1. This kind of resonated with me. I have always felt that I live on the sidelines. Always observing, but never felt very included. By choice? Maybe. Hard to connect to humans sometimes.

  2. It’s not dumb! I’ve felt that way for a long time too. There have been relationships in my past but it’s been a looooong time since I’ve been on a date with someone who makes me feel something. I fear that’s just how it’s going to be. It’s neither good nor bad, I’m happy most of the time and you seem like you’re at least okay with it yourself.

    I used to write about this a lot and people would always say I’m just being dramatic and there’s someone out there for everyone. That’s like the worst thing you can say to someone 😂 and anyway it’s 5 years later and it’s still the same.

    1. Lol there is definitely not someone out there for everyone. Some of us may just be better off on our own. It’s hard sometimes but for the most part I’m fine being on my own.

  3. It seems that you and I are the same journey through this life, Pooja. As you know, I am divorced times three and will never marry again. Being involved in any relationship does not appeal to me. Kindred spirits. ❤️

  4. I’ve always admired and viewed you as an ambivert kind of person that maintains her beliefs and integrity in what she desires on a personal and professional level and refuses to settle for less despite the personal cost of having not been found … yet! At the risk of a dull platitude, I hope you trust there is still plenty of time to live a lifetime for you.

    1. Thank you so much. Yes, I think I’m a little stubborn about my beliefs which may actually be part of the problem haha. But either way, so far I’m happy with my choices.

  5. Sods law says though, when you give up you get what you wanted and gave up on. Then you have to readjust your comfort levels and accept it. lol

    It’s something that happened to me awhile ago, I got used to the idea of not having something then it turned up, when I was actually happy not to have it.

  6. Melancholy poem!

    I have been hearing about couples who choose to live in separate residences. Together yet apart. They love each other and the time they spend together, but each one realizes they actually prefer to live alone! I’m thinking that may be an option for me, because the thought of being around someone all the time and not having my private space is overwhelming! After 2 marriages, I feel this may be more my thing.

    1. Thanks!

      That’s actually a really good idea. I think it’s a great way to be in a relationship with someone while still maintaining your privacy and keeping your personal space.

      1. I heard of it more recently as something more people are choosing and it seems to make sense to me. While I want someone in my life, I’d start to get panic attacks thinking about sharing too much of my space, and the privacy I’d have to give up. This seems to check off more boxes for me. It’s not for everyone, but there’s some of us who could be very happy with the arrangement.

  7. I love your poem, Pooja.
    Cursed to be alone forever, by choice… But then you will never know what it feels like to carve stories on your empty walls unless you allow yourself to step out your dreams😋😉

  8. Thanks for sharing.

    To me, the poem expressed sadness, regret, and resignation.

    My Dad once told me that he could not understand how I could be alone (and he also stressed the economics of two could live cheaper than one, lol). God bless him; he had six relationships.

    I always wanted to be in a relationship but never found Ms. Right for me, who reciprocated my feelings.

    If we have nothing else, we still have hope; to paraphrase the ancient Greek philosophers.😊

  9. I love how dramatic this poem is, it’s like a song, a lullaby with the repetitive line in it.
    Metallica plays in my head: And I dub thee unforgiven… which makes me think sometimes that the author dubs himself unforgiven. I think he deserves forgiveness…

  10. I thought that to be liked I had to behave in a certain way, speak in a certain way, be interested in things other people are interested in, do things they like doing. But I realized that people only like my false self. I like their false self initially too. When two false selves meet, I think they are both alone even when together. A mutual rejection when the play they are acting in ends. But I suppose they miss the fantasy like they miss a happy dream at night alone, when they themselves play both parts in the dream play, one written by the dream maker mind and one by the true ego self.

    1. “When two false selves meet, I think they are both alone even when together.” That’s exactly it. I don’t want to be with someone in that false way. I want to actually connect which doesn’t seem very likely these days.

  11. Well, like they say in The Police ‘you’re not alone in being alone’. I think being on your own is the right choice, but a healthy happy relationship will come on its own time.

    Maybe just sometimes you got to find yourself before anything else. If you do find yourself just hold on and life will catch up with you.

    1. Thanks and yeah I think so. I think I need to work on myself for now and figure out how to be happy on my own. If I can do that and still want to meet someone I can find a way to do that in the future.

  12. Never say never!
    You never know when you’ll find your whiner 😆
    I wonder what PG is like in real life 🤔
    Sending some friendly love to my favorite blogger 🤗

  13. We got this. Being alone is not a curse, it’s a choice. And for me and possibly you, it’s probably a good choice.😂

  14. Nice poem, Poojia. Although loneliness can be difficult, it’s also somber in many ways. It’s that whole are these my thoughts or someone else’s narratives. I just woke up so sorry if I’m being confusing lol.

    1. Lol, no I get what you mean. I like being alone most of the time but like once in a blue moon I’m like dang wish I had someone.

  15. I liked the poem. And what I took from your commentary is a level of comfort in solitude. In society we are constantly pressured to be with people and if we choose to be alone, that’s somehow viewed as weird to others. It shouldn’t be though. I think that feeling comfortable being alone with yourself makes you a stronger person and better able to interact with others when you choose to.

    1. Thanks so much. Yes, I think I’m more comfortable with myself than others and I really enjoy being on my own. It’s weird to some but it’s who I am.

  16. As someone who has spent my after school years alone, i clearly get you.
    Once you start enjoying staying and being alone, that is what you will prefer. Society however doesn’t take that lightly, that is why people who have decided to be alone sometimes feel like they are cursed.

    1. Thank you so much. Yes, once you realise how much better it is spending time on your own it’s hard to go out there and meet new people. Society is definitely not okay with it and often pressures people to be more extroverted.

  17. Great and really deep poem Pooja. I sincerely hope that someone is out there for you in the future as you continue your fantastic journey

  18. Pooja, no preconceptions about what is going or not going to happen. Live life one day at a time, open to all possibilities. The possibilities are endless, how you respond is what determines your future 😊.

  19. Hi Pooja,
    Sometimes it’s about developing some good thoughts over continuous overthinking.
    Other times, you should listen to “what your heart speaks”.
    Stay happy. :⁠-⁠)
    Take care.

  20. Yes, I feel that everybody here is lonely but everybody tries to use their work to tire oneself out so that one doesn’t have the energy to feel lonely. It is the only way one knows and still it is often not working. The other thing is if you think differently from the group you belong, you will surely feel out of place. And as you know the immigrant community here is not much fun, but it is the only game in town. I think most women here just watch K dramas to block all the unwanted signals from their mind. It is a way of intoxicating oneself. I recently heard from a high school kid that half of her class is on Prozac and I was really a little shocked. It was a competitive high school with many Asian immigrant kids, but still it is too early to be on Prozac. However, don’t let my version of reality upset you. I think if we explore different opportunities, try different things, talk with different people, continue to seek happiness for ourselves, we would eventually find the unique formula for our happiness. I know we can. To seek and to find. We can do it.

    1. You’re right. Most of us are lonely or sad and we use stuff like TV shows and movies to distract ourselves from that. It sucks but it is what it is.

  21. Haha re I don’t like other people.
    Maybe you’ll find someone who prefers to be on their own too. Then you can be together and on your own. Maybe buy a house beside each other and hang out when you both want to, then go home. 🤭

  22. I like to be alone in fact I have to kick Larry out of the house once in a while so I can enjoy some quiet! I get this but I also believe we are meant to live in partnerships. It’s satisfying. You’ll know when the right person comes along although you’ll still have to kick them out once in a while for some peace and quiet. Hugs, C

    1. Aw I hope I find someone like that. I’m sure I’ll be kicking them out for some alone time every once in a while too 😅

  23. I don’t believe it should be looked upon as a curse… and although you may tell yourself it’s your choice, even convincingly… I don’t believe that either… if the word choice comes into it at all, it is that you do not choose to SETTLE…

    Why should you…?

    Dust settles, and we sweep it out… because we want the house free of dust… so why purposefully bring into your life…? Keep your life as clean as possible… and if ‘dust’ tries to get in, and it will, since it is not a respecter of persons… grab a broom…!

  24. Very inspirational poetry you shared today, I wish poetry came easy for me as it seems to for you. I really am happier being single than when I was married, some of us are just not meant maybe for such a relationship. I value my alone time with my dog and my exotic houseplants, I never really feel lonely with always keeping myself busy with new projects to be working towards completing

    1. That’s great. It’s a gift to be able to enjoy ones own company. I’ve never been married but being in relationships taught me that I am probably not meant to spend forever with someone.

      1. I feel pretty much the same with spending forever with anyone, but then maybe we both just have not met the right person? Who knows what tomorrow will bring into our lives, or who?

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