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The Life & Ramblings Of A Zillennial

What Really Grinds My Gears: The Art Of Communication

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What Really Grinds My Gears

It’s been a while since I did one of these. I started sharing my “What Really Grinds My Gears” posts a while back and they’ve quickly become quite popular among readers. I mean, who doesn’t like a good whine and moan. As you know, if you have read any of my “What Really Grinds My Gears” in the past these posts are simply a space for me to whine and let some feelings out. Today we will be talking about something that has eluded me my entire life- the art of communication.

The Art Of Communication

two smiling women sitting on wooden bench | What Really Grinds My Gears: The Art Of Communication
I’m the girl awkwardly sitting on the side mostly cut out of the image but wish I was the two in the middle… (not literally, of course)

The idea for this post started because I was talking to my mum about an episode of South Park about a cult. I won’t say which one because I don’t want to have to go into hiding but if you, you know. Anyway, we were talking about how some people are such great orators they can control masses of people. And that got me thinking about the art of communication.

It comes so easily to some, social skills I mean. It’s never been easy for me. I see people talk to people they’ve just met like they’ve known them their whole life. They’re so friendly and say all the right things to keep the conversation going. And I hate those people. Because I could never do that. I get nervous, uncomfortable and weird. I’m so awful at conversing, I never say the right things. And I think that’s why I have a hard time making new friends. Because I just don’t know how to.

I’ve always wished I was one of the people that could just talk to anyone and become friends with them. How cool would that be. Someone that everyone is glad to see, that lights up the room when they walk in. Someone who is effortlessly cool.

WordPress

Even on WordPress, I see people who are so friendly and so good with comments. They make you feel like you can converse with them for ages. I’m pretty decent with comments but I just have no idea how to have proper conversations with people. Or rather, I don’t know how to have deeper conversations with people. I mean, I’m not bad at it. I hope I respond to comments well lol. But you know, I’m just never cool when it comes to conversations (or most things really) and that sort of sucks.

Conclusion

So, that’s it for today. Just a short little whiny post lol. I guess I’m just a little salty that I have zero proper communication skills and my sister got all of them haha. And that I’ll never be one of those cool people everyone loves. But at least I found my place on this platform and I have people to talk to. That’s something I’ll always be grateful for. And I’ve also found friends that I do connect with and feel cool around so there’s always a silver lining. This is honestly just me being whiny lol.

Are you good at socialising? Or are you an awkward introvert like me? Let me know in the comments below because I would love to hear from you or simply stop by and say hi!

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P. J. Gudka

140 responses to “What Really Grinds My Gears: The Art Of Communication”

  1. Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/ Avatar
    Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/

    You seem to do well for someone who claims not to have the skills! I think your readers will agree!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, I try but I still feel like it’s not really effortless!

      Reply
  2. Renard Moreau Avatar
    Renard Moreau

    🙂 It is okay to be shy. You can make baby steps by talking to a random stranger. For example, the next time you are out reviewing a Kenyan restaurant, talk to someone from the staff.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, that’s true. I’m going out tomorrow so I’ll try then.

      Reply
  3. SiriusSea Avatar
    SiriusSea

    I love these posts, Pooja <3 and I'm right there with you, out of view and awkwardly sitting next to the social butterflies. I cannot offer any wisdom here (lol), but you have this introvert's friendship forever !!!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much! Haha so thankful for introverts. We can be silent introverted friends forever!

      Reply
      1. SiriusSea Avatar
        SiriusSea

        Always … 😉

        Reply
  4. satyam rastogi Avatar
    satyam rastogi

    Amazing post 🌹🌹

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much 😊

      Reply
  5. Sadje Avatar
    Sadje

    I think my social skills have improved with age.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, I think as we get older we stop being so self-conscious when socialising which helps.

      Reply
      1. Sadje Avatar
        Sadje

        Very true. There are benefits to getting older 😂

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          There are quite a few actually 😅

          Reply
          1. Sadje Avatar
            Sadje

            Very right. I’m enjoying them.

            Reply
  6. Milena Alien Avatar
    Milena Alien

    Hey Pooja, I’m definitely an extravert, I find it easy talking to others if they are of the same culture, I’m from the ‘ask’ culture, if you are from the ‘guess’ culture you will definitely grow to hate we because I’m too straight, no filters.
    So having said that I see how ‘guess’ culture makes me look rude and mannerless. But honestly it does not bother me too much since haters will hate. If you are from the ‘ask’ culture, you will probably love me at first sight, it’s a bit of an exaggeration of course but you got the gist. It’s a very simplified explanation of very complicated art of communication.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Oh I totally get that, I’m from an “ask” culture too but some people find it rude to be so straightforward.

      Reply
      1. Milena Alien Avatar
        Milena Alien

        It’s so frustrating to be honest

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          It is, also you start expecting others to be honest but in some cultures people choose to be more polite than honest and that’s confusing.

          Reply
  7. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Super interesting topic, Pooja. Sometimes, I’m able to be completely at ease with others, but I wonder what that secret factor is, because it isn’t obvious. Why can I encounter one person with such openness and trust, and another and be so thoroughly on guard? Expectations may be one factor. What do I think the other expects from an interaction? Where do they think it will go? Also I’m just a lot less verbal than people expect, especially if they’ve encountered my wordiness online!

    I don’t have as many introverted friends as I’d like. 🙂

    “If you’re too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I too, am fluent in silence.” Keanu Reeves

    Reply
    1. Stephanie Avatar
      Stephanie

      *sometimes able to be completely at ease… (!)

      Reply
    2. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar
      DEVANG UPADHYAYA

      It could be the vibe one person is giving you.

      Directly- indirectly, we can catch that vibe. We can see if the person is willing to talk. If they are, we can open up. If they are not, we stick to limited words.

      Reply
    3. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much! I’m the same. With some people the communication is effortless and with others it’s much harder. I think sometimes we just click with someone and we don’t with others.

      Thankfully, I have quite a few introverted friends- they’re honestly the best because they’re very chill too. Being friends with extroverts can be a little tiring sometimes 😅

      Love that quote, that’s sort of how I see introverted friendships. You just sort of relax together.

      Reply
  8. clcouch123 Avatar
    clcouch123

    What a good, whine/gear-grind. If I’m ever artful at communication, it might be because I studied it and taught it. But the one that subsumes the other strategies for me is listening. If you listen, you get something, maybe part of a story. You might and often will get something to respond to and thus keep the conversation going. It should go both ways, and I’ve noticed with the celebrities I’ve met that some of them took part in hearing me as well as letting me get to know them. I simply think that listening is crucial. With listening and respecting, we might keep all our fingers off the buttons. And I believe your narrative is fetching (maybe that’s a Southern term to use). Your voice is clear and detailed, open and engaging. I’ve no doubt I would enjoy a coffee with you, simply conversing.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you so much. It’s true, it’s more of a two way thing. Conversations don’t work if both are not interested. And yes, listening is vital.

      Reply
  9. ianscyberspace Avatar
    ianscyberspace

    Well, I enjoy the company of people but perform better in a crowd of people and that’s probably why I’ve been given administrative roles since my late teens. But deep inside I like my space and look for opportunities to get out of the rat race and just enjoy the peace of being in nature away from people for a while to recharge my batteries. Would that be an extra-introvert? 🙂

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Haha maybe you’re an ambivert?

      Reply
      1. ianscyberspace Avatar
        ianscyberspace

        Hmm. Has a nice ring to it and better than a wackovert I suppose? 🙂

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Lol definitely.

          Reply
  10. Ginger Johnson Avatar
    Ginger Johnson

    I hear you. I am so, so awkward at it all, even comments, anymore: before covid, I did okay (not brilliant, but okay), but I am different now and the world is different now and it seems like I don’t sync up despite lots of effort. Thanks for the whine 💜💕

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much 💕 Yeah, covid affected a lot of peoples social skills. I definitely find myself a lot more introverted.

      Reply
  11. Warren Avatar
    Warren

    I’ve found as I’ve gotten older, I seem to now have no trouble getting into a conversation with others….at my gym, out on a run…or standing in a line somewhere….I like that, face to face…on line? is okay, but just not the same….

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s interesting, it’s the opposite for me. I’m better online than in person.

      Reply
  12. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar
    DEVANG UPADHYAYA

    Over here and on LinkedIn
    I’m generally very talkative. I’m willing to talk to people and eager to learn from them.
    I’m able to have long conversation with people. However, 95% of the time, the person maybe not be that interested to talk ( talking of LinkedIn)
    I also need to remember the limits of my friendship with the person. I mean I can’t just talk and talk, because after a point I start expecting similar energy from the person. In most of the cases, if I don’t get similar energy, I don’t think there’s a point in trying any further.

    Recently, a friendship ended. It was online friendship, but I was very close to them. They might not have ended it officially, but now I feel my utility in their life is over. Because earlier we both filled a void in each other’s life. My life is same, their void is filled with other people. 😛

    When we don’t talk or don’t know how to. We seek friends at places where we think we can talk. However, we need similar response from people in order to have something meaningful.

    I don’t talk, don’t know how to, and don’t want to, outside social media or blogging world.

    As you said, some people are so cool, they always have something interesting to share. They always have something attractive about them. But honestly, we cannot be like them, because for that, we need to change our personality.

    A gym is a place where people can socialize. I talk there, but nothing personal and only workout related. So even after going for so many years, I won’t say that I have any friend there 😛.
    I don’t know name of most of the people 🫣. Never asked, never cared to bother.

    I sometimes think how win friends and influence people ( Dale Carnegie sir ), but cannot change my personality. No amount of book reading can change that. I can’t, I will not.

    Here’s your mini blog post ☝🏻

    And RG, Hi to her. Who doesn’t like her. She’s amazing 🤩

    Reply
    1. SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ Avatar
      SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ

      Dear Devang,
      What a rich, lengthy and insightful comment you have given Pooja! Well done!

      Dear Pooja,
      I enjoy reading your post. On the one hand, you claim to “have zero proper communication skills”. On the other hand, you have clearly communicated to us really admicably in your well-written post. This seems to be a paradox. 😉

      May you and Devang have a wonderful weekend!

      Yours sincerely,
      SoundEagle

      Reply
      1. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar
        DEVANG UPADHYAYA

        Thanks
        Happy weekend

        Reply
      2. Pooja G Avatar
        Pooja G

        Thank you so much for reading the post, I think I’m better with written communication lol. Have a great week!

        Reply
    2. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I think I’m only sort of talkative on WordPress depending on who I’m talking to.

      Unfortunately, friendships come and go especially online. It sucks but I’ve experienced that too. All you can do is be grateful for the good memories and move on. Yeah, it definitely needs to be a two-way thing. You can’t socialise if the other person isn’t friendly.

      I’ve read that Dale Carnegie book, it was fine but didn’t really help.

      RG says hi back!

      Reply
      1. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar
        DEVANG UPADHYAYA

        Looks like someone is writing a lot these days
        That’s why they disappeared for 2-3 days 😂

        Hey, btw there’s high competition of long comments. I’m not the only one in this game anymore.
        Your whinning post, gets the most amazing comments. Because, people find them relatable.

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Haha yes, I’ve been super busy 😅

          Yes, so many comments on this post- I was so happy to see them!

          Reply
      2. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar
        DEVANG UPADHYAYA

        I don’t find self help books helpful much

        However I have few favorites as they makes most sense. CG’s book is among them.

        I see a book in your future. Where you will whine and state things that makes sense.
        I know you can write something like that and just giving you a thought.

        There’s a blogger Mark manson he has books, I felt negative after reading them.
        You should consider writing a book on this theme.
        Book name: While I whine 🤓

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          That’s actually a really great idea for a book! In each chapter it can be a different topic to whine about.

          Reply
          1. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar
            DEVANG UPADHYAYA

            Yes

            So much to whine about

            Reply
  13. travelsavvywanderer Avatar
    travelsavvywanderer

    Good morning Pooja and thanks for this wonderful post! As an introvert myself I can totally feel this post! Some people unfortunately struggle a lot to communicate or socialise – there is a need for an extra effort – while some are born with a kind of natural gift to communicate – my mom is like that, she can so easily blend in…I think it depends on a lot of factors. Could be upbringing, culture or maybe a psychological barrier somewhere.. but acknowledging it and making an effort is very important…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much! Sorry you can relate too, being introverted is a bit difficult especially when it comes to social situations. True, it’s a lot of different factors and sometimes we just need to acknowledge it and work on it.

      Reply
  14. thomasstigwikman Avatar
    thomasstigwikman

    In general, I am not good at socializing, and I am an introvert, but sometimes I don’t come across that way. I’ve noticed that for me it all depends on how much I can trust what is going to happen and whether I know people. I’ve spoken in front of an audience of hundreds of people at robotics conferences, and I wasn’t very nervous. However, I knew what to say and I had a lot to say, I had slides, and a predictable audience, all professionals. I am also a member of a climate related book club and the leader, a woman, asked me to do to a presentation at a book seller that was also a café and a bar. I declined to do so. The thought of it made me uncomfortable. The audience would have been smaller than 100 people but unpredictable. What if someone started heckling me? What if someone is overly critical or no one wanted to listen? She was very surprised to hear that I was afraid of public speaking. But I felt comfortable in our book club meetings, but not in front of an unpredictable audience.

    My wife’s grandma could be a bit of terror to speakers. She was not an introvert. I remember when we were watching a magician. He was good. She was sitting in the first row and suddenly she shouted at him “you are making a mess!”. He kept his cool and answered, “I am sorry mom”, and everyone laughed. I wish I could do that, but I can’t.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, I think it largely depends on the situation too. I’m the same- I’m okay with speaking to larger crowds but smaller ones make me nervous but for me it’s because I can see everyone and feel a bit judged even if they’re not judging. With bigger crowds you can avoid looking them in the eye.

      Omg that’s a hilarious response.

      Reply
  15. Steve Avatar
    Steve

    I think your comments are great, Pooja! You do a great job of keeping up with responding and making genuine comments.

    Conversing can definitely be challenging for me, too. It doesn’t come naturally and I too envy others for whom it appears to come so naturally.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much! Yeah, it’s a gift to be a natural at socialising haha.

      Reply
      1. Steve Avatar
        Steve

        You’re so welcome! Truly it is a gift, one I have never really had but I also think it’s more important to focus on what we can do, than what evades us. 🙂

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Yes, that’s true. We all have different strengths.

          Reply
  16. Rita Avatar
    Rita

    Child #1 is like that. She can walk into a room and completely light it up. Everyone wants to be her friend. She’s fun. She does, however, have her faults. Don’t forget that. If someone is awesome at communicating, they do have other faults, as we are all human! Thank God we are not all the same!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s so true, we all have our faults even if we’re really good at something and that’s what makes us human!

      Reply
  17. Wholeness Chronicles Avatar
    Wholeness Chronicles

    Great article as per usual!.Stay safe.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you so much!

      Reply
  18. sandysbookaday Avatar
    sandysbookaday

    I feel your pain Pooja. But we can’t all be social butterflies. I often wonder if these people with so many friends actually have a deep and lasting friendship with anyone, or if the friendships are all superficial. Just be you.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s true, I think less social people make less friends but the friendships are much deeper.

      Reply
  19. Taran Avatar
    Taran

    The secret I have found is failing gracefully. People are weird.

    Be yourself, and if they don’t like it, you’re not with the right people… But you can fail gracefully, and that can start another conversation.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s actually really great advice, thanks so much.

      Reply
  20. vermavkv Avatar
    vermavkv

    Yes, I am an introvert, but learning to communicate effectively.😊

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Same here 😊

      Reply
      1. vermavkv Avatar
        vermavkv

        😊😊

        Reply
  21. judeitakali Avatar
    judeitakali

    Well, I think your communication skills on official platforms like WordPress and email are top notch – well balanced. I can’t say the same for messaging platforms 😅. But you’re one of the coolest people I know, so don’t judge yourself too harshly 🙏🏾🖤

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I think I just run out of social energy when I’m done with WP lol 😂 Thanks 💕

      Reply
  22. Joseph Glidden Avatar
    Joseph Glidden

    I would not have guessed that you were awkward with conversation.

    When I was very young I was very shy and stuttered, so I really didn’t like talking to people.

    Now I have no problem engaging in conversation. The last few years, I have tried learning and remembering the names of people I meet around town. I find remembering the names helps to be more comfortable in social settings.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, I think I’ve gotten better at conversing but I’m still not a natural at it.

      That’s great, I think it gets easier over time, remembering names does help in my experience too. It makes people see that you care.

      Reply
  23. vesnab7 Avatar
    vesnab7

    Love your little ‘whining post’🤭
    You just do you because you’re doing it great! 🌺

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Haha thanks so much! 😊💕

      Reply
  24. J M Negi Avatar
    J M Negi

    True in today’s context, thanks.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you so much.

      Reply
  25. Opher Avatar
    Opher

    Pooj – don’t worry. A lot of the people who are good at that stuff, charismatic, confident, you know, they’re often not nice people. Like Trump they use their ability to fool others to manipulate and use. They are often arrogant and used to getting their own way. Better to be one of the quieter ones. Be real. We don’t all have to be the life and soul of the party.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks and yeah that’s so true!

      Reply
  26. Bookstooge Avatar
    Bookstooge

    If there is a group of people, I am usually as far from them, in a corner reading a book 😀
    I don’t mind though, as I have a pretty thick social skin…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Lol, I can relate. I literally take books with me everywhere 😅

      Reply
  27. festo_sanjo Avatar
    festo_sanjo

    Omg, Pooja, can’t believe you’re just like me, I also was so introverted as a kid, I barely talked in class, with fellow students, except a friend with whom I had a strong bond. You are so good at writing to be honest, and that makes lots of us to not believe that you’re not good at actual conversations, but I get you coz I too experience the same thing.

    I think that’s something we can work on, coz I see it caused by our upbringing though some things are inherited but we can try to make some habits of talking to strangers each day just like how we do in blogging land! Though it’s not that easy but if we try and embrace the okward moments then we’ll see some changes. Thanks for sharing plus your post gave me my new blogspot idea so thank you.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I was the same, I was so quiet in school except with one or two of my close friends. Thanks so much, yeah I think I’m better with writing but more awkward with in person conversing.

      True, it has so much to do with our upbringing. My parents are pretty introverted too so I grew up thinking that was the norm. But we can definitely change, I’m trying to and have found myself to become more social over the last few years.

      Reply
      1. festo_sanjo Avatar
        festo_sanjo

        Mee too, it’s wonderful seeing that we can change for the better!

        Reply
  28. utahan15 Avatar
    utahan15

    about
    gist this
    nearly missed it too

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      But you didn’t miss it after all

      Reply
      1. utahan15 Avatar
        utahan15

        gudka to gupta. but no time to be fanitne!

        Reply
      2. utahan15 Avatar
        utahan15

        pope st son tom reports he loves your president mowdry!

        Reply
  29. Narisa Wahlang Avatar
    Narisa Wahlang

    I suck at the art of communication too. 🙌🏼😂
    I want to communicate with people. But then I think about how much energy it’s going to take and all the social intricacies that come with conversing with another person and then I end up not talking.
    And Sometimes, I let my intrusive thoughts win and say the most outrageous things. 🙈🙈

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Lol, I feel like a lot of people on WP are on the same boat 😅

      Same, it’s too exhausting to socialise and that’s why I avoid it sometimes. You gotta let the intrusive thoughts out one in a while 🤭

      Reply
      1. Narisa Wahlang Avatar
        Narisa Wahlang

        Hahaha 😂
        If I did that those once in a while moments would become an every day occurrence.

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          😅😅

          Reply
  30. WellsFiction Avatar
    WellsFiction

    I’m sure you’re better at communicating than you assume. I get it tho. I’ve always felt like nervous or anxious when speaking to others even family or friends. I always second guess myself, but I’m learning the way I communicate is ok and normal and I deserve to talk when I feel like talking even if the other person doesn’t understand etc.. Plus I feel like using less words rather than rambling on and on is a way better way to get your point a crossed 🙂

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. I’m the same way and overthink it. But I’m trying to be more social and not overthink too. I think we can get better over time. 🙂

      Reply
      1. WellsFiction Avatar
        WellsFiction

        I definitely think we can handle it. It’s everyone else I’m worried about.

        Reply
  31. Stella Reddy Avatar
    Stella Reddy

    Hey Pooja, I hear ya! I was the most timid, shy person you could ever meet. If someone looked at me, I blushed, let alone spoke to me, as I would stutter, not knowing what to say.
    It took time but in all honesty, I never totally lost my anxiety about it. I still have it to this day…
    I feel you do great in communicating with me! 🌞 xoxo

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks! I understand, I think some of us just aren’t great with socialising and the anxiety stays but we can get better over time.

      Reply
  32. Mark Edward Jabbour Avatar
    Mark Edward Jabbour

    It actually ‘cuts both ways’. Psych-girl & I talked about this last session. (I’m the other way.) She says the true art (of communication) is to be “fluid”. Or adjusting to the situation for optimal (desired) results. You can ‘work’ on this therapy, you know. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s an interesting way to look at it, I think it makes a lot of sense. I’m definitely working on it with my therapist and it has been helping. I feel like I’ve gotten better at conversations.

      Reply
      1. Mark Edward Jabbour Avatar
        Mark Edward Jabbour

        Good for you, Pooj. It’s not easy, in fact very hard. Especially for people like me who value authenticity and honesty. Psych-girl & I chat about this ALOT. Be well. cheers.

        Reply
  33. Doug Avatar
    Doug

        I can’t socialize at all. I don’t like most people and vice versa. I’m shy.
        Briefly however, I was the life of the party and acclaimed everywhere after I went to a school to learn how to socialize and make new friends. We were given text books to take home and study. There were long Chapters to study and discuss in class. The Chapters had simple names: Manifesto 1, Manifesto 2, Benign Manipulation With Quasi Empathy, Malignant Manipulation to Handle Competition, Elimination Strategies… It was going pretty well until I realized it was a class for psychopaths. A few students dropped out after their first murders. A few hecklers who objected to doing any murders were expelled immediately. I stopped going because I wasn’t brave enough and went into the ‘witness protection program’ where they gave me a new name and identity in a far away town where I don’t talk to anyone.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, I have the same problem with people. At least with the witness protection program you have an excuse never to socialise lol.

      Reply
  34. Dawn Pisturino Avatar
    Dawn Pisturino

    I’m an introvert and like to be alone, something which really annoys my husband. But I can get along well with others when I want to. Blogging allows me to interact with people without getting overly involved.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, I think many introverts are selective about socialising. I get along well with people I like even if I’m not great with people I don’t know too well. Blogging is a good middle ground, we can socialise to an extent but with boundaries.

      Reply
  35. donnajburkholder Avatar
    donnajburkholder

    I often think how you know just the right thing to say in your comments. I think you’re great!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Aw thanks so much!

      Reply
  36. Manoj Mehra Avatar
    Manoj Mehra

    As an introvert, I can relate to it. I don’t talk to anyone so easily. I need time to understand someone.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I’m the same way, I’m better when I know the person well.

      Reply
  37. Darryl B Avatar
    Darryl B

    “I mean, who doesn’t like a good whine and moan.” 😂🤣 Pooja, your sense of humor and warmth comes through so well in written form. I think you’d be a great friend. I used to be shy, but I read something once that changed everything:

    “Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion.”~ Thoreau

    I was afraid of saying something that would make me look foolish, stupid, invite ridicule. But it was one of those lightbulb moments…ehhh. It doesn’t matter what people think about me… and many folks who seem to have it going on have a FB facade …they’re just better at masking their insecurities, fears, doubts. Like in “The Breakfast Club.” 😎

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Haha thanks so much 😅 I love that quote, it’s so true. Having a good opinion of ourselves helps so much with self esteem. I get scared of saying something stupid too but honestly we all do that occasionally.

      Reply
  38. Destiny Avatar
    Destiny

    “And I hate those people…” 🤭
    (no way we meeting lol😋)

    you do great with your comments, Pooja. Comes across as so natural and at ease…either or…you do you….we still appreciate your presence 🤍🤗

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Lol I’m sure you’d be great if we met 😅

      Thanks so much 🤗

      Reply
      1. Destiny Avatar
        Destiny

        pleasure always.🤗🤍

        Reply
  39. Mary K. Doyle Avatar
    Mary K. Doyle

    I was a newspaper feature writer for many years, so interviewing is easy for me. I found people love to talk about themselves, especially if you appear to sincerely want to hear their response. It was a great learning experience. We don’t have to say much about ourselves when we meet someone, just sincerely ask about them.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s true, people like to talk about themselves and that keeps the conversation going. I’ll keep that in mind for future conversations.

      Reply
  40. jordynsaelor Avatar
    jordynsaelor

    This is so relatable 💯

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much 😊

      Reply
  41. Goin' the extra...aaamile Avatar
    Goin’ the extra…aaamile

    I am an absolutely confused soul when it comes to conversation of late… the problem is “trust”… hence it’s like I am always on my guard, but yes, when you find the right person, conversation just flows automatically.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      True, trust is a big problem too. You can’t tell everyone everything.

      Reply
  42. Goin' the extra...aaamile Avatar
    Goin’ the extra…aaamile

    I’m sure I’d love to strike a conversation with you, might be awkward to start with but going with the flow is the best option.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks and yeah going with the flow is best.

      Reply
  43. byngnigel Avatar
    byngnigel

    I like to think I’m introverted… But it turns out I just like being in my own space. I do enjoy communicating with people and meeting new people. The process of getting to know someone fascinates me. People are generally interesting. Just sitting and observing gives you enough to get a conversation started and going for hours. But social media also offers a safe space for the introverted. You can be whomever you think you need to feel comfortable. You do a great job communicating PoojaG. 🙏👏💜💜

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I’m like that. I think I’m introverted but I like to socialise I just don’t know how to do that well lol. True, socialising online is great for introverts like me, we can be who we are more freely. Thanks so much 😊💕

      Reply
      1. byngnigel Avatar
        byngnigel

        You’re welcome PoojaG

        Reply
  44. Carol Corrigan Avatar
    Carol Corrigan

    You do just great in your comment section Pooja! And it’s okay to be shy, it wouldn’t do if we were all the same 🙂 Because of my mental health nurse training, years at the job I loved and then teaching staff, I find it easy to converse – when I want to. I love watching people, listening, and generally being ‘nosey’. Good communication takes active listening and asking questions. If you’re still not sure what to say once someone’s answered your question then say “Sounds interesting (or not), tell me more?” But I’m sure you know all this Pooja so, just stay the way you are – smart, shy, interesting, knowledgeable, a terrific blogger, and a little cookie 🙂

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much! 🙂
      Yeah, I think people like to talk about themselves so asking questions helps a lot. I have been trying to do that more and it’s been going well. I think I’m slowly getting better at conversing but not a natural yet lol.

      Reply
  45. Eugi Avatar
    Eugi

    I had to socialize when I worked and it came easy for me. Before, I worked I was shy and sort of an introvert. Now I don’t have a problem on or off the internet. I feel it depends on the circumstances and how old one is. You have excellent social skills, IMO.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, I think with socialising practice helps too. Circumstances definitely matter. Thanks so much.

      Reply
      1. Eugi Avatar
        Eugi

        You’re welcome, Pooja!

        Reply
  46. singlikewildflowers Avatar
    singlikewildflowers

    Your socializing is great on WP! I learn so much from you.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much!

      Reply
      1. singlikewildflowers Avatar
        singlikewildflowers

        You’re welcome!

        Reply
  47. Aboli Mane Avatar
    Aboli Mane

    Pooja, you’re doing great. Like you, I’m the nervous and awkward talker in real life, I am too anxious to approach people and talk. You do respond well, and if you feel that you don’t give yourself time.

    It took me 2 years to respond properly to comments on here (I mean opening up in the comments than the basic ettiquette) You’re putting yourself out here and we’re finding you relatable. ❤️

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. It took me a while with comments too but I’m much better at it now 💕

      Reply
  48. Cindy Georgakas Avatar
    Cindy Georgakas

    fun to know how it all started. Love it Pooja. You are a natural even if you say you’re shy.. ha💕

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much!! 💕

      Reply
  49. infointhegrey Avatar
    infointhegrey

    I can empathise with this, when I was younger I was painfully shy to the point where I was hoping that I was invisible to people. I have managed to overcome most of these anxieties, but do struggle with many social cues. I suppose, this is what has inspired to focus on social interaction and work with people, anyway, I have collected a few pointers along the way. People do like to talk about themselves, and whenever you find yourself in a situation where you’re not sure what to say, it can be a simple question that can up a conversation: how has your week been? Naturally, the conversation will fall into something more comfortable and throughout, drop a few things in about yourself to inspire the other person to make further inquiries about yourself. I always struggle with banter, mainly because I don’t fully understand.

    Reply
  50. Suzy Kassem Quote – Lifesfinewhine

    […] know I just posted about being bad at socialising but I actually had a very social week. That’s why I wasn’t very active here. I ended up […]

    Reply
  51. A & J PEI Treasures/E Jean Simpson, BEd, BA, MA Avatar
    A & J PEI Treasures/E Jean Simpson, BEd, BA, MA

    Just noticed that the more recent blogs seem to not have comments or has WP changed something again?

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      No, I switched off the comments as I had been q bit busy.

      Reply
  52. Juliette Avatar
    Juliette

    Oh I completely understand! While I thing I’m getting better at it with time, I can’t help but envy those who can chat up a stranger like it’s no big deal and – which is even more impressive – keep the conversation going, engaging, asking the right questions, etc. I wish I was like that, especially when travelling! I think it is a skill to learn, but the learning process is definitely uncomfortable!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      You know how I feel, that’s exactly what I think too! But it’s fine we’ll get better over time!

      Reply
  53. Muddy Brook Studio, Pejj Nunes Avatar
    Muddy Brook Studio, Pejj Nunes

    There certainly is an art to communication! It’s one of my interests. I think if it were in school systems, it would make generations of people different. The world a better place.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I absolutely agree, it would help so much if it were one of the skills we were taught in school.

      Reply
      1. Muddy Brook Studio, Pejj Nunes Avatar
        Muddy Brook Studio, Pejj Nunes

        The interpersonal communication class I had in college would be fine for high school. I understood there was a class for business communication too. I did not have that, and I do not think it was offered that year. One of the classes I had, I did the semester working on posters about communication for my local elementary. The information could be brought down to a level they could begin at. The homework could be designed to not just help the kids but bring parents on board with pearls of wisdom they would take in by helping the kids. We end up in counselling to learn how to communicate with one another____ I would love to see people ask for it in the school systems it would level the field and everyone would be playing by the same rules so to speak. They would be expected to use the abilities of better communication. The kids would be less likely to generate peer pressure and bullying I feel. Boys and girls could learn to talk to one another and perhaps . Women and men are different yes, but we should be able to talk about who we are as people. If you never feel comfortable about talking with one another, you get no where fast. The goal is acceptance.

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Yeah, I think that would be a very helpful solution. A lot of the problems we face, even in greater extents, are due to people not knowing how to communicate effectively.

          Reply
  54. Carol anne Avatar
    Carol anne

    Pooj, you are cool 🙂 I love you and your an awesome commenter, and blogger, keep going, keep doing what your doing and stay cool 🎈🎈🕊🕊💞💞

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Aw thanks so much 💕😊

      Reply

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