Today, I wanted to talk about why letting go can be essential for your mental well-being. Over the years, I’ve let go of a lot of people. Friends, family members. It’s no fun, but sometimes, it’s necessary.
Humans are social creatures, and while showing self-love to ourselves is wonderful, sometimes it’s better to get that love and validation from someone else. Specifically those who are closer to us. Like a partner, a close friend, or even a family member. Relationships are the cornerstone of every person’s life. They shape our experiences and influence our emotional well-being. Whether they’re romantic, familial, or platonic, connections with others play a significant role in our lives.
Relationships can be good, they can be fantastic, and again, humans need them. However, there comes a time when holding onto certain relationships may do more harm than good. In these instances, letting go can be an act of self-compassion and a crucial step towards better mental health. It can be hard to let go; there are those “what ifs,” and this is a society that’s pro-relationships.
Plus, there’s always hope, and there are always methods to keep a relationship strong or back to how it was, such as relationship therapy. Sometimes, these can be fantastic, but of course, it depends on the relationship and who the other party is. Sometimes, this therapy works when both parties want to make an effort, but what if the other party doesn’t want to bother?
What if this is a bad friendship where someone doesn’t think about your feelings? What if this is a relationship with an abusive family member? And what if this is a partner who lacks remorse for their bad actions?
Not every relationship is worth salvaging, especially if it’s wearing you down and you’re just an empty shell of who you once were. If you’re not benefiting, then what’s the point? So, with that said, here’s why letting go can be essential for your mental well-being.
Recognising a Need for Change
It’s not always easy to admit that a relationship isn’t serving you well. You might find yourself making excuses for the other person’s behavior or holding onto the hope that things will improve. While that hope is what’s keeping you going, it’s what’s hurting you too. That’s why you need to focus on acknowledging that when a relationship is causing more harm than good, it is the first step towards positive change.
Your Well-Being Needs to Come First
Seriously, your mental health should always be a top priority. While it’s natural to want to support and nurture the connections in your life, it’s equally important to recognize when those connections are draining you emotionally or hindering your personal growth.
Is there someone or multiple people who just don’t make you feel happy or positive after talking to them? Is there dread? Letting go of relationships that no longer contribute to your well-being is an act of self-love. You’re not evil, and if they think that? Well, so what! You have to put yourself first!
There Needs to be Room for Growth and Change
As individuals, we’re constantly evolving. You are constantly evolving, and you need to be constantly evolving too. Nothing should stop this; nobody should be stopping this, either! Your values, beliefs, and priorities shift over time, and sometimes, the people in your life no longer align with these changes.
You deserve to grow; you have a right to grow! That’s why letting go of relationships that no longer resonate with who you are becoming allows you the space to grow and flourish on your own path.
Test It with Boundaries
If you want to test it the relationship before cutting it off cold turkey, then testing out with boundaries might be the way to go. You have to keep in mind that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding. So, if a relationship lacks reciprocity or consistently crosses your boundaries, it may be time to reassess its value in your life.
Setting boundaries is not only essential for your well-being but also for maintaining healthy connections with others. But if they’re breaking these boundaries and it’s apparent that they just don’t care how it affects you, then you need to leave- that alone tells you how little they care about you. Why have someone in your life who doesn’t care about you anyways?
Finding Closure
Depending on who this person is, it might not be easy to do. The process of letting go can be challenging and emotional. It’s normal to feel a sense of loss or sadness when ending a relationship, even if it’s ultimately for the best. It doesn’t matter who this is, a long-term partner, someone you thought was a close friend, even a parent or sibling- it doesn’t matter.
They’re all hard, and it’s unfamiliar territory having to cut off people. However, by allowing yourself to grieve the loss and finding closure, you create space for healing. And new opportunities for growth and connection. You might not always get closure, so you need to understand that, too.
It’s Okay to Seek Support
What you’re dealing with is a loss, someone who will most likely no longer be in your life, someone who you will no longer give joy to, and vice versa. It’s a dead relationship, and that can be upsetting. It’s okay to grieve; you’re grieving the loss of a dead relationship; you’re grieving for the potential, what could have been if the other person could have just cared, respected, loved, and just tried more.
So, it’s okay to reach out for support for this. It’s okay to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist during this time. Surrounding yourself with understanding and compassionate individuals can provide comfort and guidance as you focus on self-discovery and healing.
Why Letting Go Can Be Essential For Your Mental Well-Being: There Will Be a Brighter Future
Letting go of relationships that no longer serve you is not a sign of failure but rather a courageous act of self-awareness and self-care. This goes with what was being said above; you’re losing something but gaining something, too. By releasing what no longer aligns with your values and well-being, you create space for new and fulfilling connections to enter your life. Remember, you deserve relationships that uplift and support you on your journey towards a happier and healthier future.
Do you think letting go can be essential for your mental well-being? Have you ever had to let someone go? Let me know in the comments section located below. Or simply stop by and say hi!
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So hard to come to terms and finally let things be. I love that you wrote this in such an empowering way, because it’s too easy to just give a little more time and ‘one more chance’, even without a slight trace of change or awareness. .
Yes, it’s so difficult to fully let go but so necessary. Thanks so much, yeah it’s easier to forgive instead of letting go but some people just don’t belong in our life.
Phenomenal write up on letting go, Pooja! ”letting go can be an act of self-compassion and a crucial step towards better mental health.” I agree on all counts but I will say, it’s easier said than done. Letting go is essential and I whole heartedly agree with this ‘Letting go of relationships that no longer serve you is not a sign of failure but rather a courageous act of self-awareness and self-care. ”
Some family relationships can be one of the hardest especially when they have mental illness. It’s a tough line to walk. While I’ve had to let go of relationships, it’s never easy and yet necessary and grieving takes time. Superb job! 💕🙌🏽❣️
Great post Pooja…never easy but important to self-value and self-help. Acknowledging the need to let go is important and surely not an easy thing to do. Wishing loads of courage to all those going through such moments!
There is a lot of good advice in this past, Pooja and as sandy says, it is well written. ENding a relationship is a loss, whether it’s our choice or it happens to us. That’s very important to attned to if we are to move on in a healthy way. Well done.
Not every relationship is worth salvaging. Toxic relationships are a no no. Walking away can be tough, but self preservation is instinctive. Trust that instinct nicer your heart every time. 🙏
Great post PoojaG.
“Not every relationship is worth salvaging” 👏 I’ve got a few years on you and I’m just learning that. I hate losing friends, especially old ones… but people change and when you suddenly realize you’re putting 90% of the effort in to maintain the relationship, it’s time to gently and quietly decouple and let them drift away. I tend to hold the door open if they ever want to rekindle the friendship… but I assume they won’t. It’s easier that way. Great post, Pooja 😎
Pretty much what Darryl wrote.
I had a couple of friends from my Bibleschool days who I still kept in touch with. I’d give them a call every 3-4 months. But it began turning into a real chore to either get hold of them or when we were talking, for them to volunteer anything about what was going on. It felt like pulling teeth. So I just stopped and they haven’t reached out to find out why. That’s when I realized it was ok for me to just let people go…
I know that feeling. I tried to keep in touch with a few friends from high school and some kept in touch while others never bothered so I let go of them.
This is such a a hot button issue these days. Spoken as a mom who has been cut off, it hurts. This is my baby! Even though I have done so much for her, she refuses to talk to me and even moved halfway across the country! The hard thing is that I just supported her. That’s all. I set boundaries, but she was the one who left. This pain is so intense!
Please think very hard before you cut off anyone, but especially your mom. They love you and wants what’s best for you! At least I did.
I understand, I think if possible it’s best to talk to the person before cutting them out just so you know where you’re both at. If that person is actually trying to help you or support you then you can keep them in your life.
Wonderful post, Pooja. Toxic relationships are not good for either party. I’m one that gives everyone the benefit of the doubt but when a so called friend constantly takes advantage of my friendship, it is time to move on.
Thanks so much. Yes, I think toxic relationships negatively affect all involved. I think it’s good to give people a chance once or twice but they constantly take advantage or have behaviours you’re not okay with it’s time to let go.
Ha, ha. All the frigging time. I’m an expert. However, there’s one factor you didn’t mention – the economic one. That part of “self-care” can trump all others. Just saying … . Take care.
For me, letting people go, regardless of relationship, is easier than letting things go. Most of the time.
However, regardless, once gone- it’s on to the next person, place, or thing.
I’m just wired that way. Thanks, thought provoking post.
This is more good advice and exposition from you. I’ve slowly learned the value in letting go of certain people in my life. It’s not been easy learning, because among other things I’ve valued loyalty. But sometimes relationshions become poisonous, and that’s that. Well, not that’s that, since it isn’t cut and dried (to use another idiom). And sometimes I’ve been the one let go, which doesn’t feel good, especially if there’s confusion on my part. Which can be a factor all around, though not the determining one. Thanks for your wisdom! It’s encouraging.
Thanks so much. It’s hard to let go but sometimes it’s the only thing left to do. I’ve been let go too and it hurts but in the end I’m sort of thankful for it. I only want people in my life that want to be there.
I love your mental health posts. Letting go is probably the most essential skill we all need to learn. I am in the middle of the learning as I am trying to split ways with education, we have been together for most of my life, so it’s hard. The hardest part is defining my self without the teacher part. I am still not sure I can do it…
You CAN and you WILL. There’s always a purpose out there that you can contribute in a different way, sometimes we find it, other times it finds us… We just keep our eyes, ears and most importantly hearts open.
Thanks so much. Yes, it’s an essential skill for sure. Sometimes we grow out of stuff whether it’s people, our career paths etc. I’m sure it’s hard for you to let go of something you’ve done for so long but if it feels right it’s time to part ways. You’ll find new interests that are more suited for the current version of you.
Great Post, letting go is so essential but also takes time sometimes, especially if that connection is stronger you can’t just walk away and be fine you know that, easier said than done. I’ve let go of so many people in the last 2 years coz I had a grand awakening and shift in my life. It was hell of a journey but 2 yrs later feeling more free and happier. I think we just need to let go when we’re ready not when we just think it’s the best option… when we’re ready the pain is less than when we feel like we still need them, we should be clear and honest with how we feel. This worked for me, when I was ready to let go then I didn’t even feel that bad, am not telling people to stay in toxic relationship though,
Beautifully penned down, Pooja. Your thoughts resonate with people and that is why the wonderful comments. I’ve let go of so many because I had to take a stand, many people didn’t approve… but that was alright. Over time some came back but accepted the new me and that was refreshing.
You just need to let go when the relationship has reached saturation point 📍
Hi Pooja great post again!
Letting go I find is terrifying!
The fear of stepping away from the familiar (relationships for example), even if we know in our hearts it’s for the best, can be paralyzing. It takes self awareness first I suppose, then strength and confidence to take that step.
Thank you so much! Yes, it’s so incredibly difficult and scary since it means you have to say goodbye to someone permanently. But at the same time I think when it comes to certain situations it’s for the best.
I’m sorry you’ve had to resort to letting go of people, but I’m glad you were able to when necessary and that you can look at it in a positive light! Letting go of people has been on my mind lately as well because a few people have approached me about trying to get sober (or in their words “drink less”). A big part of that is, unfortunately, cutting a lot of toxic people out of your life. It’s especially difficult when marriage is involved. Most marriages do not survive sobriety.
Testing it with boundaries is an important first step that I think people don’t put enough effort into. Bad relationships can often stem from someone not enforcing boundaries and if you don’t try to learn how to do this with the toxic people you already know, you might cut those people out of your life only to set up the same toxic relationship with new friends.
Yes, another well-written and informative post. And I agree, and letting go can sometimes be fraught with anxiety. But once I let go of certain friends, I relaxed and let them get on with their thing, leaving me free to be my best me. No longer worrying what they thought of me and my “odd” quirks. I’m free!
This is a really good and important post, Pooja. I have had some significant friendships I had to say goodbye to. They were food for a time, then became hurtful and dangerous. It isn’t easy to part ways with someone we once loved but it’s often necessary for survival.
Letting go of people can definitely be tough, but like you said, sometimes it’s what we gotta do for our own sanity. I also love the point about growth. We’re all constantly evolving, and sometimes our circles need to evolve too. New friends, new experiences, all that good stuff can come our way when we make space for it.
Great post. Letting go can be the best decision one can make for their life. Humans are like wood. We expand or shrink depending on the environment we find ourselves in. Have a great day
You hit the nail right on the head. I just let go of a friend who constantly lied to me, and hurt me terribly. Friendships are good to have, and relationships are good too, but when they become toxic it is time to move on from it, and that’s exactly what I did. Great article. Thanks for sharing. Have a great week.
Very good post Pooj. I have let a couple of people in my life go because with them I was no longer the person that I needed to be. I was more confused and unhappy with them as time went on. I am much better now without them.
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