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Bad Days Often Teach Us The Best Lessons

woman sitting on brown stone near green leaf trees at daytime | Bad Days Often Teach Us The Best Lessons | An Invitation To Pause And Listen Within

I think because it’s the end of the year, I’ve been in a reflective mood recently. Overall, this year has taught me so much even though it did go by really fast. And one major thing it taught me was that bad days often teach us the best lessons.

The last few days have been tough for me, I don’t want to go into too much detail about that. Some people that I thought I was quite close to recently lied to me, excluded me and did so very obviously. And this really triggered my depression. I’ve always been the weird kid that got excluded from everything going up. And now I’m the weird adult that gets excluded from everything. So to be excluded by people you thought you were close to really hurts a lot. And it ended up reopening old wounds. I cried a lot today, but I think mourning is a part of healing so I would rather cry than repress my feelings.

But this experience really taught me an important lesson. I need to stop spending my time, energy and money on people that don’t deserve it. Now that I know what these people don’t prioritise me the way I prioritise them so it’s time to stop investing anything in our relationship. I’m going to be distancing myself and focus on me. I would rather centre myself than people who would purposely exclude me and do it so obviously that it is an insult to my intelligence.

Your Thoughts:

Do you also believe that bad days teach us the best lessons? Have you ever felt alone or excluded? Let me know in the comments below or simply stop by and say hi!

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P. J. Gudka

141 responses to “Bad Days Often Teach Us The Best Lessons”

  1. Barney Rubble Avatar
    Barney Rubble

    Can relate to you in this and in general. Thanks for your friendship and support on here

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      You’re welcome and thanks for your friendship too. It means a lot.

      Reply
  2. Hilary Tan Avatar
    Hilary Tan

    “I’ve always been the weird kid that got excluded from everything going up. And now I’m the weird adult that gets excluded from everything.”

    You described my life. I’ve always been excluded from things too and it sucks so much. At least you have family that care about you and your sister does stuff with you. I wish I had a sister.

    An outsider looking in sees grass that is always greener than his even if that same grass doesn’t seem green to owner of that grass.

    Reply
    1. John Avatar
      John

      You too? I was always excluded from groups in school since I was extremely shy. Not these days!

      Reply
    2. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s true, it always feels like things are greener on the other side. Being excluded really sucks, I’m so sorry you experience that too. It’s really lonely always feeling like an outsider.

      Reply
  3. trE Avatar
    trE

    I think the longer we live, the more we learn. And you’re learning exactly what you need for this period of your life.

    “And it ended up reopening old wounds. I cried a lot today, but I think mourning is a part of healing so I would rather cry than repress my feelings.”

    I’m glad you got it out and that you’re still moving through it. “Move through it. Don’t stay in it.”

    🙏🏾🩵

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, that’s so true. Thanks so much 💕

      Reply
      1. trE Avatar
        trE

        You’re most welcome, Pooja!

        Reply
  4. John Avatar
    John

    I’m sorry that this happened to you, Pooja, I would be upset too. A lesson learnt…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, lesson learnt and now I know what boundaries need to be set.

      Reply
      1. John Avatar
        John

        🤙🏻❤️❤️

        Reply
  5. Rochdalestu Avatar
    Rochdalestu

    Knowledge is realising that the street is one way. Wisdom is looking both directions anyway as you cross it. We live and learn. Every day we learn something new about ourselves or others that is part of our lives and existence. If everything stayed static and nothing happened to educate us, it would be a pretty boring place to live wouldn’t it?! 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yup, so true. These sort of moments are learning experiences and teach you a lot.

      Reply
      1. Rochdalestu Avatar
        Rochdalestu

        Absolutely 👍 I’m currently trying to fathom out how WordPress works 😂 I posted a blog earlier about it and your traffic on your posts. Previously when I posted the ‘Daily Prompt’ feature I had more people interacting with my blog. Now it’s not the case. Either something has changed or I’m not posting anything that is worthy of a like or comment 😂🤦🏽‍♂️

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          No, I think the algorithm has changed again that’s why 😩

          Reply
  6. Wynne Leon Avatar
    Wynne Leon

    I totally agree that the bad days teach us the most. I rarely learn anything when everything goes my way.

    Sorry that the past days have been tough. The lesson you extracted is wise. Wishing days that don’t teach much ahead. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Absolutely, we need these sort of days to teach us about ourselves, others and life. Thanks so much, haha yes some blissfully ignorant days would be appreciated right about now 🙂

      Reply
  7. Milena Alien Avatar
    Milena Alien

    It really sucks, Pooj, I feel you. From high school age I remember not being part of cool group of people. They never excluded me because I had never been included into the high society in the first place. When I went to college, I was not a part of a cool clan, it bothered me some. I knew I would never be one of them, not fit for the party.

    But honestly I can admit I had walk away from the relationships that didn’t work, over the years I have been leaving some folks behind since I didn’t see what we had in common. So I guess I was on both ends of the non inclusion game, maybe it’s just the reality we have to accept. At the moment I am experiencing being excluded and avoiding certain folks, excluding them so to speak. Is it inevitable that we do to others what has been done to us? Or is it just that nothing lasts forever? It’s a great question to think about and analyse. And hopefully let go of the situation cause changing it is not necessarily an option.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, it was like that for me as well but over time I’m sort of fine with not being “cool” and being an outsider. It sucks to be excluded sometimes but like you said it’s a part of life and works both ways.

      Reply
      1. Milena Alien Avatar
        Milena Alien

        Still not fun 😞

        Reply
  8. Warren Avatar
    Warren

    that’s still me….I’ve come to the conclusion years ago that I just don’t fit in….not a great feeling when you’re left behind or left out, but, well, I’ve become confortable with just going my own way, I guess Fleetwood Mac were right about that…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, I’m very much still an outsider for the most part but I’m learning to be okay with that.

      Reply
  9. Goin' the extra...aaamile Avatar
    Goin’ the extra…aaamile

    Some people can be really mean on purpose, other times there are some who don’t even know they’re being mean, it’s like secondary nature. It takes all types to make the world-that said, if we remain truthful to ourselves, we would know that it’s ‘us’ who matter, and we need to depend on ‘another person’ to fill a void.
    Have a wonderful day, Pooja. December tends to make people think a little more than they otherwise normally not to 😉

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, I think so too. Some are mean on purpose but others do it unconsciously. Thanks so much and haha yes that’s true, something about the end of the year does that 😅

      Reply
  10. WellsFiction Avatar
    WellsFiction

    Hey Pooja. I’m sorry to hear this has happen to you. I’ve had the same experience sadly. Although it sucks it’s also good in some ways. Today wasn’t the greatest day for me, yet the sun is still shining and the sky is bright blue, reminding us the world is bigger than us and that is actually really cool. Take care friend and always follow your heart 🙂

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Yeah, it sucks and sorry you’ve experienced that too. Life goes on no matter what, we have to keep that in mind. Thanks and you too 🙂

      Reply
  11. Nicole Smith Avatar
    Nicole Smith

    I’m sorry you were excluded. Weird people are the best people. Your fake friends are missing out.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks and I agree, weird people are so much more fun to be around.

      Reply
  12. katiemiafrederick Avatar
    katiemiafrederick

    SMiLes Dear Pooja One of the Best PArts of Being
    Excluded is it Doesn’t Take Two to Dance It Doesn’t
    Take Two to Sing It Doesn’t Take Two Truly To Express

    Most All Arts
    And Even Some
    Sciences of Life too

    Ah Yes the Beauty of Being
    Excluded Extra Room to Love Yourself
    Naked Enough Whole Complete Getting in Tune

    With the Rest
    of Nature

    Even Lizards
    Living in Your Room
    iN Kenya With SMiLes

    It’s Like that Most Famous
    Album Cover By The Beatles
    In The Funeral Grounds of “Sgt.
    Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band”

    And the Rag Tag Team of Artists Philosophers
    And Even Religious Figures Excluded From the

    Group Think
    Of Tradition too

    Yet in their Original
    Creativities Remembered

    Much Longer than the

    Normies Of Life Hehe

    And On Top of that There are
    So Many Interesting Excluded People

    to Meet Online

    SMiLes i’ve Surely
    Met More Than a Few

    Even in Real Life too Yes

    What i Learned From All
    the Stories of my Life of Being

    Excluded is There Are Enough Other
    People Just Waiting For Someone Strong

    Enough to Not
    Only Include

    Them Yet
    Lift Them UP
    to See Their True Worth….

    SMiLes

    It’s Just
    A Hobby

    Most Anyone
    Excluded May

    Come to Do New
    And Gather Up Their
    Own SGT. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club
    Band and Make It an Orchestra Like Never Before…

    It’s What the Stone Bust of the Law Enforcement
    Looking Dude in the Front Row Does When He And or Her

    Comes
    Back to Life..:)

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Haha very true, the “normal” people rarely are remembered in history or leave a legacy behind.

      Reply
      1. katiemiafrederick Avatar
        katiemiafrederick

        And Sadly The “Unnormal”
        Are Often Lauded
        Remembered Most
        For Villainous Ways To

        Exist Like Promising US
        They Are Most Loving
        And Merciful Even

        Loving Enemies And
        Turning The Other

        Cheek Yet If We
        Don’t Bow Down
        On Bended Knees
        Worshipping Them
        As Some “Kind Of God”
        And Don’t Do Good Enough

        For What
        They Alone
        Say Is Right
        And True They

        Shall Fire And Torture
        US Forever Hehe Thank
        God That’s Only a Story
        Written in Part By Innumerable
        Ghost Authors And Scribes

        To Expand
        A Selfish Empire

        Yet On The Other
        HandS iN Reality A
        Human MeMe TheMe

        And Archetype
        As Long As
        Human
        HiSTorY Repeats
        ITself Hmm Don’t
        Know About You

        Dear
        Pooja

        Yet
        i Am
        Ready
        For HeRSTorY

        To
        STaRT
        Again
        With SMiles ☺️🌈🙌

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          If that ain’t the truth. I see history repeating itself all over the world right now. What a shame that we never learn. Yes, SO READY for herstory too but will it ever be time 🤔

          Reply
          1. katiemiafrederick Avatar
            katiemiafrederick

            SMiles Dear Pooja in
            my Life Herstory
            Is A Champion
            Now Of Empathy
            And Compassion

            We Need More

            Of That

            We Need
            Each Other

            With SMiles☺️

            Reply
  13. Mukta Verma Avatar
    Mukta Verma

    As you move into the new year, I hope you continue to prioritize your well-being and surround yourself with people who truly appreciate and support you.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, I hope to do just that.

      Reply
  14. Sadje Avatar
    Sadje

    So true that bad experiences are the best teachers provided we are willing to learn

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, I absolutely think so too.

      Reply
      1. Sadje Avatar
        Sadje

        👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

        Reply
  15. shivatje Avatar
    shivatje

    Have a nice Day
    🙏🌹

    Aum Shanti

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you 🙏

      Reply
  16. Jermena Avatar
    Jermena

    So sorry about what happened to you. But it’s good you now know a little more about how to deal with the people around you.

    Recently, I experienced something like that too. Betrayal. My workmates with whom I thought we at least had a decent work relationship, were busy back biting and saying mean untrue things about me, when they thought I wasn’t looking. Felt very betrayed. But at least now I know what they think of me. Now I’m more cautious around them.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Yes, I’m just glad I know their true colours now.

      I’m so sorry you experienced that, it really sucks when people you thought you could trust do that to you. Yeah, now you know to be cautious around them and not get too invested.

      Reply
      1. Jermena Avatar
        Jermena

        True.
        A good day Pooja🙏🏿

        Reply
  17. Doug Avatar
    Doug

        I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I think I know the feeling in some aspect. Without details I wouldn’t know how much I would relate to it.
        After I graduated High School around 1965, I never had a friend again. I don’t know how to have a conversation. Mostly, it must appear like I’m giving a speech about something I’ve learned, heard about, or am interested in. I’ve tried the advice about “listening.” It doesn’t work for me: I’ve been empathetic and could relate to someone’s feelings especially if they give details, and I seem to do well for awhile. But it’s a one-way street. They don’t care about me at all. If they do hear about my true self, that’s the end and they don’t like my true self. Sometimes for a while they like my false self. In any case, at 76 I’m dead. My old fantasies of making millions of dollars so that people would at least want to have an extended conversation with me false or otherwise are dead. I’m not good at anything I’ve discovered, and I’ve been told that my ideas for inventing things have always been delusions or mental disease. It’s never going to happen. So if I talk about my own ideas, and not quote someone, then it’s invalid and worthless. Time has accumulated the evidence that I’m nothing and never will be anything or anyone.

    I’m sorry that not knowing any details, I can’t offer any advice. I can relate to aspects of what your saying, but if I were you, I wouldn’t take my advice anyway. And it’s like that quote from Mark Twain, “I wouldn’t join any club that would have me as a member.”

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I’m so sorry you experienced that and I don’t think you’re worth nothing simply because you may be different than the norm or did not acquire large amounts of money. In the world we live in, talent isn’t rewarded only selfish and greedy behaviour is.

      Reply
  18. Joseph Glidden Avatar
    Joseph Glidden

    I was sad to hear that someone you were close to made you cry. I hope you are feeling better now. They are the ones missing out by not including you.

    Early in my career I worked with a group of people who always made sure I was included in things on our days off. One Friday at work, one of the co-workers asked who had the duty of inviting me over on the days off. I think that felt worse than not being included because then I felt I was just an obligation to be filled for work purposes to keep the team morale up. After that I began to decline invitations and I spent more time on my hobbies and finding other people to hang out with.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, I’m much better now. I just needed to grieve the relationship but I’ve landed at acceptance now.

      That sucks knowing they only hung out with you since they felt obligated to but at least you found out and were able to put that energy into other things/people.

      Reply
  19. Shweta Avatar
    Shweta

    I’m so sorry to hear that, Pooja. It sucks when you are betrayed and when you feel like you have been isolated. Bad days certainly teach us some valuable lessons. There’s nothing wrong with distancing ourselves from such people. Some relationships are not worth all that trouble. We need to put ourselves first. The one person who’s going to stick with us through thin and thick and always has our back is our own selves. I can now understand why my recent post resonated deeply with you. I’m sorry that you’re hurting. It’s their loss. You take care of yourself. Lots of love and hugs 🤗

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Yes, I think sometimes we have to distance ourselves from toxic people otherwise we’re going to end up drowning in it all. Absolutely, we should always try to centre ourselves. Thanks so much, hugs 🤗

      Reply
      1. Shweta Avatar
        Shweta

        I’m with you on that. You’re most welcome. Hope you’re having a great weekend ❤️

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          I am and hope you are too ❤️🤗

          Reply
  20. Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes Avatar
    Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes

    This is so true, and invaluable really…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much.

      Reply
  21. noga noga Avatar
    noga noga

    🙏🏼🙋🏼‍♀️😍Enjoyable post, good luck and have a nice day my dear pooja

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much 🙏

      Reply
  22. Bookstooge Avatar
    Bookstooge

    Very sorry you had to deal with people issues like that. It’s never fun when people act like people, unfortunately…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, sometimes I forget that humans suck but then the universe sends me an unfriendly reminder like this 🙃

      Reply
  23. utahan15 Avatar
    utahan15

    first time you catch em
    you sing sting s too much information
    if that fails to straiten em out
    give a cd of those dogs barking out jingle bells!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Or the cats meowing jingle bells!

      Reply
      1. utahan15 Avatar
        utahan15

        wordpress continues to wow your sight. cheer up. cheap placebos are elderberry and zinc. zoon is a hit song from commodores too!

        Reply
  24. Opher Avatar
    Opher

    People are strange!
    But always remember you can learn much more from failure than you can from success and most people are a pain anyway. Who needs ’em?

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      So true, we can learn a lot from these experiences and honestly I can do so much better anyway.

      Reply
  25. byngnigel Avatar
    byngnigel

    It does sting when you realize how some people truly look at you. Those disappointments, those misplaced expectations in some people, do bring things into perspective. Life has a way of using these moments to bring out our best, if we allow it to do so. Being assured in who you are as a person, in your kindness, in your creativity, in your work ethic, in your passion for benefiting others… it takes time. Lean into your strengths. The things that make you who you really are.
    You are a wonderful person, PoojaG.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, it definitely sucks a lot but at the end of the day I would rather know their true colours. Thanks so much 💕

      Reply
  26. Eugi Avatar
    Eugi

    I can relate, Pooja! I was excluded from things until I went to college. I think being away from my parents helped me grow and have self-confidence. I agree those that I refer to as fair-weather friends don’t deserve your friendship. I’m sorry you are going through a tough time, my friend. 💗

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Sorry you experienced that too but glad you were able to grow as a person once you moved out. Thanks so much, yeah I think I deserve better and am honestly just glad I know their true colours now 💕

      Reply
      1. Eugi Avatar
        Eugi

        I was thrilled to be accepted by a college in another state so things worked out for the best. Sometimes it takes a while to see their true colors but when you do, time to move on. ❤️

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          I’m glad it worked out that way and you had a good experience. It was sort of similar for me, going to uni in a different country helped me grow a lot as a person.
          True, sometimes we only see their true colours after a while but it’s better late than never ❤️

          Reply
  27. A & J PEI Treasures/E Jean Simpson, BEd, BA, MA Avatar
    A & J PEI Treasures/E Jean Simpson, BEd, BA, MA

    Sorry you had to go through that.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much.

      Reply
  28. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Ugh, silly people. They’re missing out, and I’m sorry.

    A few months ago a friend mentioned getting together for dinner with a group of my co-workers–meant to be a safe bitching session. I did feel really left out, then realized that because one of my managers is always signaling friendship with me, it may not have seemed a good idea, just in case.

    So, fine, but when they act like besties at work now, it’s different. I’m like, these are “friends AT WORK” rather than besties in general, which I had twisted before that. I did switch my attentions and had a really wonderful night out with a lovely friend who appreciated the invite. 🙂

    It seems my situation is smaller than yours, but still stung at first. In the big picture I’m glad it happened, because I needed that perspective. Too often I make big decisions based on unearned loyalty.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much.

      Oh sorry you went through that too but yeah at least now you know to differentiate in your mind and remind yourself they’re only work friends.

      Reply
      1. Stephanie Avatar
        Stephanie

        Absolutely! It’s good to find those balances. Hope you’re doing well today, Pooja. <3

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          I am, thanks and hope you are too!

          Reply
          1. Stephanie Avatar
            Stephanie

            Yes, getting better! Thanks. 😀

            Reply
            1. Pooja G Avatar
              Pooja G

              Oh good!

              Reply
  29. Peter Avatar
    Peter

    I can relate to being excluded! It’s no fun, but you end up learning who really cares about you. Keep your head up & remember you’ve got all of us here 😊

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, it sucks but absolutely at least now I know who really cares and who was just pretending. Thanks ☺️

      Reply
  30. jesusluvsall Avatar
    jesusluvsall

    Bad days though no fun at all can teach us things if we are willing to learn. I am sorry you had that experience my fellow Jedi. Though we have never met in person, I think of you as a friend.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, I think they can teach us a lot and sometimes spare us from more pain down the road. Thank you, I think of you as a friend too and really appreciate your kindness throughout the years.

      Reply
  31. donnajburkholder Avatar
    donnajburkholder

    I definitely believe bad days can teach us important things. I’m sorry you felt excluded … such a difficult thing. I’m twice your age and still learning not to spend too much energy on and w those who either can’t reciprocate at same level or choose not to. It’s a life long process but it does get easier. There’s a lot of love out there for you! Big hugs.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, it hurts but at the same time I would rather learn early on who is really on my side. It’s definitely a lifelong process but I’m glad to hear it gets easier. Thanks, hugs!

      Reply
  32. Brian, Snarebox Avatar
    Brian, Snarebox

    From one weird kid to another, I’m confident you’ll find your right crowd. It took me a long time but I feel respected finally.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Aw thanks, yeah I think I’ll eventually find the right crowd but for now it’s a little lonely.

      Reply
  33. Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/ Avatar
    Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/

    As someone who has always been a bit different than others, and doesn’t fit in with the regular crowd, I learned to seek out “my” people. The thing is, they don’t always like hanging out in groups, so taking the time to arrange one on one time is the way to go.

    I’ve learned it’s ok to be different. It doesn’t mean that’s wrong, it just means we’re wired differently than many. Also, as we grow and change, we’re no longer engaged in the same kinds of things that we used to, so finding our new tribe is essential.

    If people are excluding you, they already see that you don’t fit their vibe and having you around makes them uncomfortable.

    It could be for any number of reasons, but that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. For example: being the quiet thoughtful one in a group of chatty folks, being the one who is polite while others are crude talkers, being the one who has integrity among fake people or liars, being artistic while others aren’t, enjoying certain fashions while others distain those things… there are many possibilities why.

    Seek out like minded people and go from there!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s very true, I seeking out likeminded people would probably work better for me. Thank you!

      Reply
  34. Gertrude_n Avatar
    Gertrude_n

    Yes, we learn one of our best life lessons in bad days. The truth is those days really hurt but the lessons we learn eventually make us heal.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, I think so too. It hurts but it’s a lesson I’ll always remember.

      Reply
  35. singlikewildflowers Avatar
    singlikewildflowers

    I’m sorry this happened! It’s an awful feeling to be excluded and then to find out about it. That’s double the insult. I agree that prioritizing yourself is a good decision and not to let these people get under your skin. Just not worth the time.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, yeah it sucks but absolutely I’m just going to do my own thing and not let them bother me.

      Reply
  36. thebethdayever Avatar
    thebethdayever

    Thank you for sharing something so personal—it takes courage to reflect on tough moments like this, and I really admire how you’re channeling your experience into growth. I absolutely agree that bad days often teach us the most valuable lessons, even though they’re so painful in the moment. Learning to prioritize yourself and set boundaries is such an empowering takeaway.

    I’ve definitely felt alone and excluded at times, and it’s always such a hard thing to process. But like you, I’ve found that these moments push me to reevaluate relationships and focus on the people who truly value me. Mourning and healing go hand in hand, and I love how you’re honoring your feelings instead of brushing them aside.

    Here’s to centering yourself, your energy, and your worth—you deserve that. Wishing you strength and brighter days ahead. ❤️

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Yes, even though it’s a painful lesson to learn I’m sure it’s something I’ll remember for the rest of my life. Thanks ❤️

      Reply
  37. clcouch123 Avatar
    clcouch123

    That’s a good question. After pain, maybe so. But I think there is the rejection to get through, first. Sometimes I’ve lost relationships I liked. Sometimes I let go of relationships I discovered were unhealthy. But it’s more than fifty-fifty. It’s the way things are, and we should go through things as authentically as possible. Of course, I think you know this. You’re feeling pain honestly right now, and it’s good (well, not good as in pleasurable, cause it feels bad) that you’re approaching the hurt the way you are. When the pain is less, all those good lessons might come on and come to stay. Hang on as wisely as you do.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, it’s a lot to process and will probably take me a while but after that I’ll feel better. Thanks so much.

      Reply
  38. ianscyberspace Avatar
    ianscyberspace

    That’s an interesting title and I think you are right.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much.

      Reply
  39. Kym Gordon Moore Avatar
    Kym Gordon Moore

    I agree Pooja! 😍🙆🏻‍♀️💖

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Glad to hear that! 💕😊

      Reply
      1. Kym Gordon Moore Avatar
        Kym Gordon Moore

        😍💖🥰

        Reply
  40. Michele Lee Avatar
    Michele Lee

    Sorry to read you’ve had some rough days, but like you wrote, “bad days often teach us the best lessons.” Made me think of a line in a song I listened to this morning, “But expensive lessons are always the best to know.” The song is, The Let Go by Elle King. You are smart and self-respecting to focus on yourself. The right, respecting people will show up. Keep taking care of yourself. 🌻

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Yeah, I think they hurt but those lessons really stick. Thank you ☺️🙏

      Reply
      1. Michele Lee Avatar
        Michele Lee

        Welcome! ☺️🌻

        Reply
  41. Vidah Avatar
    Vidah

    This is so true!!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much!

      Reply
  42. festo_sanjo Avatar
    festo_sanjo

    You should sincerely thank them in your heart, Pooja. They’ve finally found the guts to show how they feel about you. It’s who you are, your uniqueness, and “weirdness” that’s making them exclude you. I know we are wired to feel like we belong, but sometimes we learn that to truly belong, we have to be on our own first… wipe your tears, and embrace who you really are. The right people will come into your life.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      You’re right, now I know their true colours and I would rather stay true to myself than change for others.

      Reply
  43. Elsie LMC Avatar
    Elsie LMC

    I’m so sorry you had to go through that 💗 those people really showed themselves for who they are. Yes I believe that bad times teach us lessons, if nothing else can be taken from them then a lesson is very powerful ✨️

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah they showed their true colours and now I know not to trust them. Thanks so much 💕

      Reply
  44. Darryl B Avatar
    Darryl B

    Those kind of people are like lugging around a backpack full of bricks. Gently remove it… lay it down… straighten (slowly; might hurt a bit at first)… and then move along, unencumbered 😎

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      You’re so right, I would rather now carry their weight around any longer.

      Reply
  45. Janice Reid Avatar
    Janice Reid

    Yes, you’re right adversity builds character. Cheer up my dear, friends like those you’re better off without.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Yes, those aren’t people that really care about me and I’m actually glad I know the truth now.

      Reply
      1. Janice Reid Avatar
        Janice Reid

        Still though I must say, sometimes things aren’t always what they seem and there’s a perfectly good explanation for what you think happened. I don’t have the details but make sure you know what really happened before you cut off maybe some really true friends ❤️😊. Happy holidays Pooja!

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Yeah, I was able to talk to them and sort of a couple of things but for the most part they had been lying to me a lot. But life goes on and now I know to be careful around them. Thanks, happy holidays ❤️

          Reply
  46. Bad Days Often Teach Us The Best Lessons – DEEHER VAMA HEALING –

    […] I think because it’s the end of the year, I’ve been in a reflective mood recently. Overall, this year has taught me so much even though it did go by really fast. And one major thing it taught me was that bad days often teach us the best lessons. The last few days have been […]Bad Days Often Teach Us The Best Lessons […]

    Reply
  47. Baydreamer - Lauren Scott Avatar
    Baydreamer – Lauren Scott

    “But this experience really taught me an important lesson. I need to stop spending my time, energy and money on people that don’t deserve it.” Good and healthy plan, Pooja. Let me tell you, adulthood at any age isn’t devoid of lies and drama. People can be downright mean. So, your learning experience is a good way to live into the future. Hugs 💞

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Yes, you’re is right this sort of stuff is always there. We just have to learn from it and move on. Hugs 🤗

      Reply
  48. Mary K. Doyle Avatar
    Mary K. Doyle

    I’m sorry you were hurt, Pooja. No one can hurt us like the ones we love. It’s a risk to care about people, but being vulnerable with someone also opens us to the most amazing occasions and opportunities. Know that you are loved and lovable, my dear friend.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Yes, that is so true. It’s a risk we have to take in life.

      Reply
  49. JR Avatar
    JR

    Don’t feel too badly! You express yourself so beautifully, thanks for this, we all go through these types of things.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, that’s very kind of you to say!

      Reply
  50. Dawn Avatar
    Dawn

    I can completely relate. I tend to retreat back into my shell, until the next time I get brave enough to stick my head out and try again. Sending hugs 💞

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, I think a lot of us tend to be like that. Thanks so much, very much appreciate your kind comment 💕

      Reply
  51. Steve Avatar
    Steve

    I’m so sorry people close to you betrayed you, Pooja. It’s a terrible feeling and I can relate to how that triggers earlier memories of being excluded. You’re doing the right thing distancing yourself from them. I hope you feel better soon.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks. Yeah, it’s an awful feeling but honestly I’m glad I saw everyone’s true colours early on and now I can be cautious.

      Reply
  52. SiriusSea Avatar
    SiriusSea

    This irks me to no end … Send them thank you notes for being excluded from toxicity and dull-dom !!! Your tribe loves every minute of you and perfectly the way you are … Obv these individuals lack quality, not your problem !!! Wish you better and brighter days ahead, Pooja <3 !!!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Aww, thanks that’s so sweet of you to say! Hope you’re well my friend 💕

      Reply
  53. Geoff Stamper Avatar
    Geoff Stamper

    I don’t like to remember being snubbed because dwelling too much on rejection is a waste of valuable time needed for positive endeavors.

    Instead, I will remember how my wife was distraught (decades ago) not to be invited to a party we could not attend anyway. But that didn’t matter to my wife. I explained that we probably did not get an invitation because we were always too busy to accept previous invitations. And our rejections probably hurt the couple who finally solved the problem by just not inviting us.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      It’s true, it’s best not to focus on the negatives so much. I’m glad you saw it from a different lens and thought about how the couple may have felt about prior rejections.

      Reply
  54. Dusty Avatar
    Dusty

    Sometimes I think about the idea that our weaknesses and our strengths correlate / overlap / come from the same points of origin. Obviously I don’t know you personally, but you as a blogger are probably the most community-driven and inclusive person I’ve come into contact with. You go to way more effort than I can even conceive over interacting not just with the comments on your own site, but reading and interacting with the blogs of the people who read you. You interview other bloggers and bring them attention and an audience – even some that are quite a bit smaller than you are. That’s a genuinely rare quality. Then I read from you that you struggle with feeling unincluded (a feeling born out of real experiences.) It just all seems so strange to me. Your superpower is also your kryptonite and that seems to be true for a lot of people.

    I am very sorry that you’ve gone through this. Your follow-up posts make it sound like you’re approaching this in a smart way, but it still sucks and definitely grinds my gears on your behalf.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s an interesting way to look at it and I think you’re right. In general, we tend to learn from our experiences. So with me being left out and having issues with being excluded from things, I think dealing with that my entire life taught me how awful that feels and the importance of being inclusive.

      Thanks, I’m feeling a lot better now emotionally and physically.

      Reply
  55. Cindy Georgakas Avatar
    Cindy Georgakas

    I’m so sorry, Pooja! It’s so painful when people your trust and thought were in your court, pull a fast one like this. Sending you love and healing. Give me their names.. I’ll send my guard dog after them.. Unfortunately, they would lick them to death.. Hope this at least made you laugh. 😘

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, it sucks but I’m also just happy to see their true colours sooner rather than later. Hehe I very much appreciate that 😜

      Reply
  56. Gabrielle Beverly Avatar
    Gabrielle Beverly

    This resonated with me so much after the week I had last week. Thank you for writing this post, I needed this inspiration and motivation boost. ❤️✨🥰

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      You’re most welcome and I’m so glad to hear that it helped motivate you 😊❤️

      Reply
  57. Gabrielle Beverly Avatar
    Gabrielle Beverly

    Hey Pooja, I’m so sorry. The app was having issues, didn’t mean for my comment to come off the wrong way, there was a glitch. I can understand what you were going through, I went through it myself, and wanted to say thank you for sharing your story with us. Again, so sorry for the confusion, great post as always! 🤗❤️✨

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Oh no problem, it didn’t come of that way at all!

      Reply
  58. Gabrielle Beverly Avatar
    Gabrielle Beverly

    Thank you 😊 ugh smh, the struggles of blogging with a smartphone. I’ll get through it though 😂 thanks again. ❤️✨

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Lol yeah I always avoid using my phone to blog, WP is not mobile friendly 😅

      Reply
  59. Gabrielle Beverly Avatar
    Gabrielle Beverly

    Lol yeah, I’m learning that now. It’s been a challenge for me to blog since returning to the office. I’ll just start bringing my laptop with me when I’m at my mom’s house to write and format my blog posts. I’m planning on saving up to get a desktop computer if I can sometime next year

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Yeah I think that would be easier for you than using your phone. Good luck with that I hope you’re able to get the desktop computer!

      Reply

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