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An Elaboration

aesthetic books on the table | An Elaboration

I wanted to share a little elaboration or explanation for yesterday’s post because I was reading through it today and it turns out I rambled a bunch but forgot to get to the point I wanted to share lol. Which to my regular readers will be of no surprise. I like to ramble and sometimes my sleep deprived ramblings keep going. Like this…

Anyway, yesterday I talked about how I used to be a nihilist and now prefer stoicism much more. To those that are familiar with these two ideologies/philosophies you know how different the two are. And because of that change I went from being a pretty pessimistic person to being much less pessimistic. I won’t say optimistic because I’m not an optimist and probably never will be. At this point, I’m someone who accepts their destiny and doesn’t focus on only the negative.

Well, the whole point of that explanation about how my thought patterns are slowly changing was to remind people that those changes take time. I went from one extreme to now being in the middle/realistic. And that didn’t happen overnight.

So, if you’re in therapy or simply just trying to be a more positive person in general remember to cut yourself some slack. It takes our mind a while to break habits and form new ones. Don’t beat yourself up about that, instead stick with it. A few years from now you may be a whole new person without even realising it.

Hope that elaboration helped make more sense of the last post lol. Have a great weekend!

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P. J. Gudka

84 responses to “An Elaboration”

  1. Barney Rubble Avatar
    Barney Rubble

    Good to hear your voice and perspective always. Keep doing the good work

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Thank you so much.

      Reply
  2. L.G. Avatar
    L.G.

    You’re doing great, don’t overthink, we understand what you were thinking, keep up the good work

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Thank you, really appreciate that.

      Reply
  3. Alex Diaz-Granados Avatar
    Alex Diaz-Granados

    Sleep deprivation doesn’t do us writers any favors!

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      No it doesn’t!

      Reply
  4. John Avatar
    John

    Nihilism seems very confused with its many interpretations that I just read. I hope you get some good sleep soon, Pooja. 😊

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      There are many types of nihilism, it’s a real can of worms to be honest. Thank you, I slept much better last night 😊

      Reply
      1. John Avatar
        John

        I saw that during my quick review. I sent you good sleepy vibes, Pooja! 😂🤙🏻❤️

        Reply
        1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
          P. J. Gudka

          Send some today too, I need a good rest lol! 😂

          Reply
          1. John Avatar
            John

            ☺️❤️

            Reply
  5. Susan Avatar
    Susan

    I had a casual interest about philosopher Nietzsche…I’m going to be kind to myself and stay more current with your blog instead!

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Lol I think that’s the right choice!

      Reply
  6. The Wandering Nomad Avatar
    The Wandering Nomad

    I someone that others used to describe as being “overly optimistic”, which some of my professional psychiatrists and counselors would agree with. It was really bad because I felt like I was living in a bubble and being very naive. I always wanted to see the best in others, see the best in any situation. But I later had to learn some hard lessons that that isn’t the proper/right way to live.

    It took me many years, but I eventually had to learn to ground myself while not losing the positive side of who I am, seeing the best in people (even if sometimes people will disappoint). I had to learn to accept that I am the same. As much as I do my best to be my best self, sometimes I have bad days and I would fall short. And yes, I would end up disappointing others too.

    This change from being “overly positive/naive” took years. While I might be a lot better at staying grounded today, sometimes I still experience the temptation to want to hope for the best, only to be disappointed in the end (again). I wonder if there are others like me. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only one feeling this way.

    Reply
    1. Stephanie Avatar
      Stephanie

      I relate a lot with your comment, Wandering Nomad. At my last job, someone who eventually became a friend confided that at first I struck him as not to be trusted, because of this overly positive view, or what he perceived as that from my general demeanor. Funnily enough, I think he was right, because it can be a coping mechanism. One must feel safe to let down the guard and recognize a whole spectrum of experience in both ourselves and others.

      Reply
    2. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      I’m sorry to hear that, being optimistic isn’t a bad thing but it becomes a difficult way to live because a lot of people try to take advantage of it. I’m glad you’ve learnt to be more grounded and balanced. And I understand the urge to regress and only see the best in others. Unfortunately, it would be great if we could live that way. But sometimes we have to protect ourselves first. And I’m sure you’re not the only ones that feels this way. There are a lot of people out there that are truly optimists at heart but the world has hurt them enough to change them.

      Reply
      1. The Wandering Nomad Avatar
        The Wandering Nomad

        That is very true. I remember my mother always used to tell me, “you are someone with the biggest heart. But you must also be careful because others will always try to take advantage of it.”

        Let’s just say that she hasn’t been wrong. I have met some genuinely good people. But I have also encountered plenty that have taken advantage of that goodness/kindness.

        Reply
        1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
          P. J. Gudka

          Yes, that’s why we have to be careful. Not everyone has good intentions.

          Reply
  7. Benjamin Nambu Avatar
    Benjamin Nambu

    Hello ♥️Pooja♥️, it’s great reading your posts again. Keep up the good job…
    It doesn’t matter if it seems you haven’t gotten to the point of what you want to say. The most important thing is just keep writing consistently and the process refines itself.

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Thank you so much, yes I think writing despite all else is most important ♥️

      Reply
      1. Benjamin Nambu Avatar
        Benjamin Nambu

        True

        Reply
  8. WellsFiction Avatar
    WellsFiction

    This is very true. I notice when I’m trying to break old habits or learn new things my mind feels off for a bit, but then when the new patterns become consistent my mind works smoothly again. Time is not our enemy although we sometimes think it is. As long as we’re taken the steps we will reach the finish line eventually 🙂

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Yes, absolutely. We feel weird for a bit when the change is happening but eventually we get used to the changes. 🙂

      Reply
      1. WellsFiction Avatar
        WellsFiction

        For sure! I created an account on Ingramspark. If I have any questions, I’ll let you know 🙂

        Reply
        1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
          P. J. Gudka

          Oh nice and yes of course feel free to 🙂

          Reply
    2. paulliverstravels Avatar
      paulliverstravels

      I can have a full argument with myself just walking from the couch to the kitchen about whether or not I need that snack.

      Reply
      1. WellsFiction Avatar
        WellsFiction

        I’ve definitely been in those moments before haha.

        Reply
  9. SRIKANTH Avatar
    SRIKANTH

    This is such a grounded and encouraging perspective! PJ 🌱 Your journey from nihilism to stoicism—and the patience you’ve cultivated with yourself—is a powerful reminder that growth isn’t about flipping a switch, but about steady, compassionate persistence.

    Love the realism: not forced optimism, just *showing up* and trusting the process. Your words are a gentle nudge to anyone wrestling with change. Progress over perfection—always. 💛 Keep shining!

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. Absolutely, growth is much more about consistency and putting in the hard work to change.

      I think realism is the best way to live (at least for me) since it’s on neither extreme. It’s all about doing our best, not about giving up or seeking perfection.

      Reply
  10. shivatje Avatar
    shivatje

    🙏🙌🏻

    Aum Shanti

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      🙏🙏

      Reply
  11. katiemiafrederick Avatar
    katiemiafrederick

    Ah Yes Dear Pooja Considering Science Shows
    That the Word Thinking Conscious Part of Our

    Being Comprises About .5 Percent of Our

    Total Being It’s a Bit Like Riding A Blue

    Whale Attempting to Turn it Around

    With Our Own Conscious Thoughts

    True Much More Involved in the Totality
    All the Feeling Sensing Emotions All Of Our
    Subconscious Mind Far Below the Surface of

    What We ‘Think’ We Know About The Totality of Our Being

    A Way i Like to ‘Think’ About

    All the Colors of Human
    Emotions Yes Feelings and
    Senses In Synergy of Energy
    Head to Toe More Than We May
    Materially Reduce Is A General Metaphor

    A Christmas Tree Yes Us We Attempt to
    Keep Up Year Around Wiring Each Branch
    With New Colors oF LiGHT A Never Ending

    Story oF LiFE iN Practice to Color Our Worlds and
    The Ones We Reach More Yet of course only in my

    Tiny
    Human
    View With SMiLes…

    It’s A Bit Life Surfing This
    Life Science in Arts is Too

    Takes a While to Stay Up on the
    Board And There is no Telling the Size
    of the Life Wave That Will Come Next

    Yet With Unrelenting Practice We come
    To Greater Master The Waves of Life Yes

    Once More

    “Come
    What May”
    With SMiLes..:)

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Yes, we have to take it one day at a time and not be so preoccupied with the future.

      Reply
      1. katiemiafrederick Avatar
        katiemiafrederick

        ☺️🙌

        Reply
  12. Eugi Avatar
    Eugi

    I like your perspective, Pooja. I like to feel balanced, and not overly positive or negative. Sleep deprivation definitely affects our moods, and most nights, I get a good night’s sleep. However, some nights, my mind won’t turn off. Sigh…

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Thanks so much. Absolutely, I think it’s all about balance and not swaying too much toward either extreme. I try to get a good 8 hours but some nights my mind won’t switch off either and I end up tossing and turning. It happens!

      Reply
      1. Eugi Avatar
        Eugi

        You’re welcome, Pooja.

        Reply
  13. Sadje Avatar
    Sadje

    I got your point yesterday too.

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Glad it came through on yesterdays post too.

      Reply
      1. Sadje Avatar
        Sadje

        Absolutely 👍🏼

        Reply
  14. A & J PEI Treasures/E Jean Simpson, BEd, BA, MA Avatar
    A & J PEI Treasures/E Jean Simpson, BEd, BA, MA

    Glad you are pointing out change doesn’t happen over night. It is inspiring to know that change happens but slowly. Don’t give up and don’t get too frustrated. I needed the reminder.

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Thank you so much. Yeah, even when we know that we sometimes get frustrated when change doesn’t happen fast enough and reminders help.

      Reply
    2. paulliverstravels Avatar
      paulliverstravels

      “Lawyers make excellent patients. They have great insurance and never seem to get better.” – Niles Crane

      Reply
  15. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    I tend to think all these philosophical schools have some profound truth, and as they work with our individual dispositions and circumstances, they become something very particular. I’ve experienced what some would deem nihilism as liberating during certain points of my life, absurdism as well. There’s some kind of fortification that can arise when looking into the abyss, as it were. However! I think you’re right with stoicism as a center, as it has what’s needed to still be able to explore other expressions while not getting untethered/unraveled mentally.

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      I totally agree, every philosophical school offers us something and even if we don’t align fully with it we can still learn at least a couple of things. I think nihilism taught me how to care less and even though I don’t feel like nihilism as a whole works for me now I still appreciate that I am able to get out of my shell more because I care a lot less about what others think. Same with absurdism (which I love btw!) which taught me to stop thinking of the why because somethings are just unexplainable and don’t make sense and that’s okay. Yeah, Stoicism is a great middle ground!

      Reply
      1. Stephanie Avatar
        Stephanie

        Great point. Absurdism goes along with not taking oneself too seriously. I’ve always liked the quote “Take the work (whatever that means to each person) seriously, and yourself not seriously at all.” I first heard it from Alan Rickman.

        Reply
        1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
          P. J. Gudka

          That’s a fantastic quote and I think the best way to live life.

          Reply
          1. Stephanie Avatar
            Stephanie

            <3

            Reply
    2. paulliverstravels Avatar
      paulliverstravels

      Sometimes I think the spirituality people choose depends on the hole in their heart they are trying to fill.

      Reply
      1. Stephanie Avatar
        Stephanie

        Very insightful. Something I want to consider more.

        Perhaps also, cultures are in part formed by spiritual narratives, creating/perpetuating particular holes.

        Reply
  16. utahan15 Avatar
    utahan15

    you should enjoy

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Thanks, I try to as much as I can.

      Reply
  17. Steve Avatar
    Steve

    Excellent points, Pooja!

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Thank you!

      Reply
      1. Steve Avatar
        Steve

        My pleasure!

        Reply
  18. Belladonna Avatar
    Belladonna

    Okay let me back track. Gong to yesterday’s post.

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      No worries!

      Reply
  19. The Topic Hunter Avatar
    The Topic Hunter

    A great example of someone who transitioned from nihilism to stoicism was the philosopher/biologist Massimo Pigliucci.

    During his scientific career, he was influenced by philosophies like rationalism and skepticism, which made him feel a sense of meaninglessness. He was a true nihilist in the beginning with no sense of purpose, no reason for a value system, just natural law and order.

    He actually wrote a book later in life titled “How to Be a Stoic.” He kept most principles of Stoicism but also added a modern twist regarding sharing of feelings and never abandoned his scientific thought process for faith.

    Anyway, check out his story sometime if interested. He talks a lot about how Stoicism provides a framework for purpose and how humans perform better and are happier with a strong set of principles in place.

    Thanks for sharing. Glad youre still around publishing. I’m working on a new blog now, but we have commented on each others content for years. Regards.

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      That’s so interesting to learn. I actually hadn’t heard of Massimo Pigliucci before but will definitely look into him. Sounds like a really interesting person. Thank you for sharing too and glad we’ve been able to interact for so long.

      Reply
  20. byngnigel Avatar
    byngnigel

    Yes… the transition does take time. And it is worth it

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      It does but it’s definitely so worth it. My mental health is better than it’s ever been.

      Reply
  21. Christopher Hall Avatar
    Christopher Hall

    It’s super hard for me to not focus on all the negatives sometimes! Good on you for being able to better overcome that each day! 😁💕

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      It can be difficult for so many of us to have a more positive mindset but it’s something we need to keep working on because it’s so worth it! 💕

      Reply
      1. Christopher Hall Avatar
        Christopher Hall

        I couldn’t agree more! I’m going to keep on trying! 💕

        Reply
  22. K. Ravindre Avatar
    K. Ravindre

    I appreciate your viewpoint. I try to keep a sense of balance in my outlook—neither too optimistic nor too pessimistic. I usually get restful sleep, but there are nights when my mind just won’t quiet down. It can be a bit frustrating!

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Thank you very much. I think balance is best, too much pessimism or optimism isn’t a good thing either. There are nights when my mind is like that too, most of us thinkers have insomnia at least occasionally.

      Reply
    2. paulliverstravels Avatar
      paulliverstravels

      About once a week I’ll wake up too early and my brain snaps on too fast to get back to sleep.

      Reply
  23. Dalen Flynn Avatar
    Dalen Flynn

    I hope this also means you’re feeling happier about everything 😌

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Yes, I’m doing much better- thank you so much 😊

      Reply
  24. savvydawn50 Avatar
    savvydawn50

    Please subscribe if wish -did for you🌷

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      I did, thanks ☺️

      Reply
      1. savvydawn50 Avatar
        savvydawn50

        Thank you💐

        Reply
        1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
          P. J. Gudka

          You’re most welcome 😊

          Reply
  25. The Verse Universe Avatar
    The Verse Universe

    Thanks for sharing your link to your book. I’m always looking for new poets to explore. Hopefully I can check out a digital copy sometime!

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      So sorry for the late response your comment got stuck in my spam folder for some reason. And thank you!

      Reply
  26. Susi Bocks Avatar
    Susi Bocks

    Good for you embracing Stoicism! Today I added more books by Seneca and Epictetus to my wish list, and ordered a hardback copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. He’s my absolute favorite philosopher. 🙂

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Thanks so much. He’s quickly become my favourite too, I’m rereading Meditations at the moment and it has so many gems. He was truly a remarkable thinker.

      Reply
      1. Susi Bocks Avatar
        Susi Bocks

        <3 Yes, he was! You're welcome!

        Reply
  27. Pennize Pics Avatar
    Pennize Pics

    It does take time to change your thinking from one way to another. I spent years feeling sorry for myself and being depressed because of some traumas I experienced. But when I learned about myself and my struggles is when I decided that I did not want to live depressed and constantly sad anymore. It takes time but anyone who is struggling with something, know that you can change things for the better. And just to let you know about the subject of positive thinking, I will have a book coming out in July that will hopefully help people. Take care Pooja.

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      Absolutely. I can relate. I think when we’ve been through difficulties we sometimes end up fixated on the negative and slip into a victim mentality. But choosing to focus more on the positive makes a difference. Oh wow, that’s great I look forward to it. Please let me know when it’s published I would love to read it.

      Reply
      1. Pennize Pics Avatar
        Pennize Pics

        I definitely wiil.

        Reply
  28. Samuel Avatar
    Samuel

    I’m curently really strugling to make this transition myself, but I’m now (somtimes, often, sort of) actually open to it now. This is all the more difficult do to the in many ways worrysome current state of affairs in the United States where I’m at, and me being an often regret ridden, politically very independed minded, moody, mildly autistic leaning empath… Lol! 🙏🙏🙏

    Reply
    1. P. J. Gudka Avatar
      P. J. Gudka

      I’m sorry to hear that and I have heard things are a bit messy politically right now but stay strong. Continue to be empathetic because it is one of the most important virtues a person can have. You got this, it takes a while to imrpove ourselves but we absolutely can 💕

      Reply
      1. Samuel Avatar
        Samuel

        Hi Pooja thanks for the kind words! Yes, it’s been rough since my parents passed but after a long struggle I am now finally (spiritually) in a much better place ready to move forward! Not easily mind you but ready nonetheless. I am trying not to focus too much on politics and such now, while still being aware. It’s often toxic and would not be good for my mental health otherwise!

        Reply

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