Now that I’ve been subscribed to the full-time package for adulting for almost a decade I feel like I can part some wisdom on you younger bloggers out there. I’m not sure why I said that but it sounded cool in my head so I will be leaving it in. Back in my day, I didn’t have bloggers give me advice about adulting I did so I thought I would do the younger generation a favour and tell them a few harsh things about adulting
There are certain things that we learn when we are younger that we need to unlearn as we get older. It’s hard to do that sometimes because we are so accustomed to these things and it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that adulting is not like you imagined when you were a kid or like the things we see on TV/movies.
Here are some myths that you need to unlearn as an adult:
1. You’ll know what career you want as an adult
This may come to some people as a surprise but adults have no idea what they’re doing either. We try to keep things together and yes we do know better about certain things but at the same time we are not always fully prepared for life.
To be honest, university prepares you for a lot of stuff but you may end up doing something other than what you got a degree in and thought you would be doing in the future and that’s totally okay because so many people go through multiple career changes as an adult.
So, don’t expect to always know what you want and be sure of your career because people change and with that change your passions/ambitions may change as well. That’s part of growing up and growing as a human being.
2. Everyone has some good in them
No, they don’t. People say this so much to kids to keep them optimistic about life but let’s be real this is not true. I know this one sounds super pessimistic but hear me out. Yes, a lot of people are good people and it’s normal for the best of people to occasionally do bad things but the truth is that not everyone is a good person. Not everyone has some good in them. In fact, as you grow up you’ll realise that some people are just bad people. There’s nothing you can do to change that and there is no fixing them. Try to cut these people out of your life and move on because they will only drag you down with them.
3. Be kind/nice to everyone
This is similar to the last one. I often heard as a child that I should be kind or nice to everyone but no one told me there are exceptions to that rule until I got much older. I would still strongly suggest being nice to everyone but have your limits. If someone takes advantage of your niceness or kindness they don’t deserve that anymore. You being kind to others is not their right it’s a privilege and if someone takes that for granted they should lose that privilege especially if they show you multiple times that they don’t deserve your kindness/niceness.
Another thing to look out for, especially if you identify as a woman, is being kind/nice may end up making it unsafe for you. There are people out there who don’t have the best intentions for you and they generally prey on people who are too polite to show clear boundaries. If someone makes you uncomfortable or doesn’t respect your boundaries you should no longer be nice. Make your stance very clear and if possible stay as far away from them as you can.
3. Do what you’re passionate about
Yes, always to do what your passionate about but also get your head down from the clouds every once in a while and have a way that you can take care of yourself financially. It’s always a good idea to have a plan B when it comes to adulting and finances so always be careful that you have a net to fall on if things don’t go as planned.
4. Education is the most important thing
Education is extremely important, there’s no denying that. I would definitely recommend that people get as much education as possible including higher education and post-graduate education. That being said, education- at in school and higher educational institutions- is not going to teach you everything you need to know in life. In fact, it’s going to teach you an insanely low amount of life skills needed to survive as an adult.
So, while you’re studying make sure you’re picking up some life skills as well and don’t fully rely on school to teach you everything because I guarantee it will not. Also, the information you learn at school is only the tip of the iceberg so if you want to really learn and grow your knowledge you may want to read books, peer reviewed articles, stuff available on the internet (preferably from reliable sources and not some annoying girls blog on WordPress…), talk to your teachers and basically try to study things that aren’t always mentioned in textbooks.
I hope you enjoyed reading this post and I’m sorry if I destroyed anyone’s youthful innocence but think of it as me saving you some time down the road. Being an adult is awesome in so many ways and I am loving it but at the same time it comes with its own set of challenges and it’s best to be prepared for them.
What are some things you had to unlearn as an adult? What advice would you give to anyone reading this that isn’t an adult? What would you tell them to unlearn? What are some great things you love about being an adult? Let me know in the comments below because I love chatting with you guys and if you don’t want to answer the questions simply stop by and say hi!
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76 thoughts on “Things You Should Unlearn As An Adult”
Interesting! Remember that there are many forms of education, not just University. For example one can study carpentry, mechanics and many other fields including all sorts of crafts and arts at Colleges. Some people have the good buried pretty deep so boundaries are necessary. .
Yeah absolutely thanks for adding that!
I definitely agree with all of what you said! I remember feeling overwhelmed about how so many things that I learned as a child weren’t applicable anymore and I was lost for a long time
Thanks and yeah I felt like that for the first two or three years as an adult. It was super confusing but it’s part of growing up I guess.
I follow #3 with everyone until they break it (and I give them changes). Then I refer to #2 (in that order). I believe that we should give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they prove that they aren’t good people.
Unkind people general display their ugly selves sooner than later so it’s only a matter of time before they show their true colors. And when they cross the line that’s when I move on. I think it’s only fair that we treat everyone with kindness, regardless of how unkind they are.
Yeah definitely give them a chance but also be cautious and watch out for red flags. Definitely try to be kind but don’t let them ever take advantage of you!
I’ve let people take advantage of me way too many times. I’m learning to grow a backbone!
That’s good. It’s great to be nice but you definitely need to be firm with your boundaries!
I guess it boils down to saying that there are no absolutes in life, to do certain things in moderation, and to do what feels right for you. great post, Pooja!
Thanks and yes that’s absolutely it!
I had to pop over and read the comments on this one once I read it. Can me a forever optimist, but I truly want to believe that everyone has even the smallest bit of good in them. (I’ve watched too many super-hero shows.) I get it though. BOUNDARIES are so important. I wish someone had taught me about them when I was younger. Would’ve saved me some heartache.
You’re so optimistic and I love that but yeah boundaries are absolutely necessary!
I think that everyone starts out with good in them. Now, they may have had a terrible life and that may beat the good down. However, most, not all, but most people have some good otherwise they would not be human, made in the image and likeness of God.
I agree- the majority of people definitely have at least some good in them but there’s a handful that we should try our best to avoid.
You always know what exactly we need!
I don’t want to agree with the second
Oh, sorry! It got sent before I could finish typing it fully.
I don’t want to agree with the second point. It’s a matter of experience and Ofcourse, subjective as most beliefs are. But buried within every human is Atleast “some” good. But yes, I absolutely agree that not everybody deserves our kindness! We should give ourselves the benefit of doubt.
No worries I hit send too early sometimes too!
Yup I totally get that and everyone deserves the benefit of doubt but some people just give off bad vibes and should be avoided. At least in my experience!
People like narcissists. Steer clear as fast as your feet can carry you. There’s literally no good there.
Agreed- narcissists have the worst intent.
Schooling gives you a certificate; self-development creates your future. To stop learning after graduation is to degenerate. Nice post!
Yes I couldn’t agree more. Thanks!
U re welcome
Very well said. Education that doesn’t make you a good human being is worthless.
Yes absolutely. We should learn more than just what’s in textbooks.
I definitely agree with the education part! I believe everyone should have a job of some sort while getting an education to continue also getting experience outside of the controlled bubble that education can create.
Yup it’s always a good idea to get more education apart from what you learn at school. That stuff is important but so is learning about life.
I loved these points so much Pooja I mean these days Im telling these things to every alternate person I meet. But yes they are so important.💙✨
Thanks so much and yeah some things you just have to grow up and unlearn 😊💜
Here’s an additional lesson I learned: It will never feel like the “right time” to do anything. So don’t wait too long do anything! These days, I’m trying to channel “The Magic School Bus”–“Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!”
That’s such a good point! I’ve been trying to do that too and get out of my comfort zone as much as possible.
Educative and interesting post, all the tips are on point.
Thanks so much.
Very well said. I try to see good in all people. I never judge anyone, but I will be nice. I will cut people off when I see they are using my kindness for weakness. You just have to know how far to let someone go. It is alright to give a person a chance to prove themselves whether they are good or bad, eventually their real selves will show just exactly what kind of person they are. Thanks for sharing this information with us. Have a blessed day, and stay safe.
TV shows has told me all these part-truths
Yeah they really emphasize these on TV.
I think I can resonate to this post very very very well. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, I have to practically unlearn everything I experienced at home in order to socialize normally with other people. And even with such a big effort, it is often not enough. I can still be too abrupt, too unresponsive, too awkward. Or when I try to correct my weakness, I become too talkative and even more awkward.
I’m the same way around people and I get what you mean about having to learn how to socialise normally because things that we consider normal are quite different from what normal actually is.
I’m completely destroy.. 🤣🤣 I still give people the benefit of the doubt but there are some of those for sure. Nice one
Oops sorry about that 😂😂
Adulting is not easy. All the points you mentioned are absolutely true.
Adulting comes with it’s own Beck’s and challenges. One thing I’ve realized and i love about adulting is that it come with wisdom. The more we grow, is the more we become wiser and better than before.
Yeah I absolutely agree- we learn a lot over time. I think as we get older we have more experiences and these experiences help us grow as a person.
I got a lot of insight from this post ! I’m still a young adult and there’s a lot of things I’ve realised I needed to unlearn and grow from.
Points that stood out to me the most was #3 and #4. Sometimes being nice can come off the wrong way to people or they take advantage of you– I agree with this 100%.
I enjoyed reading your post ! Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed the post!
Yeah I think we’re always taught to be nice or be the bigger person but that doesn’t always work in real life. Sometimes we have to be tough and set boundaries.
I definitely agree with you.
And fact number 1 hits very close to home.
I wish someone had told me this earlier.
Hey Pooja. I’ve been scarce the last months. I miss our correspondence. You were like my first blog friend. I hope we can write something soon again.
I understand all your points in this post but I still believe being nice to everyone while knowing that not everyone will deserve it or reciprocate, should always be advocated for.
Hey, yes it would be wonderful to write something again soon. It’s been a while. I think we should be nice but personally I try to be careful or maybe a bit guarded.
Lemme email you.
The biggest realisation I’ve had as an adult is that Life is not as romantic as we were made to believe when young. Life is Hard! It can even be Ugly. But regardless, we still have to Live it as best we can.
That was a great post!
Thank you for sharing🤝🏿
I feel the same way. The more I grow up the more I see the darker side of life but like you said we just have to live the best life we can.
I love this 🙂 the older I get the more I realize that I’m not behind others and we’re all just figuring it out
Yes absolutely! We are all just trying to figure things out and find ourselves.
Feel free to color me a “late bloomer” – which is the nicer way of saying that I was being slow sometimes…– and many of your bullet points I only found out about very recently. From sometimes very disappointing experience I must concur on each of your findings..And indeed, some of those things I wish I hadn’t needed to find out the hard way, but from learning them from someone I trust and who’d have as generously shared their insights as you have. So thanks and then some!
Thanks! Even if you learnt later on in life at least you learnt them eventually. It’s sad when we have negative experiences and are forced to learn some harsh truths but hopefully these experiences will protect us in the future.
Very much on point!
This is eye opening. The Young ones better take this advice seriously.
Thanks so much!
Great post! I am fully committed, on a daily basis, to give my children the life skills that school doesn’t. It’s time for the school curriculums to change. So many studies have been done on the skills and daily habits needed to be a happy fulfilled adult, change needs to happen and hopefully sooner rather than later.
…there are, definitely people that do not have a good bone in their body! Unfortunate but very true. This is one of the learnings that will make managing relationships much easier.
Love your insights.
Many blessings and a happy fulfilled life,
Thanks so much!
I’m glad you’re teaching your children life skills alongside the school curriculum because as you said it needs an update because a lot of important things are not being taught.
Yeah some people are just bad people and accepting that can really help us stay safe and happy in the long run.
I would advise them to marry for the right reasons. A lot of people fantasize about marriage as a happy ever after or to run away from their family lives or out of loneliness, but marriage is a lot of hard work and responsibility. You need to walk into it with eyes wide open. I’ve been married for 7 years and I wish I took a course on what marriage was really like beforehand. It would have saved me a lot of trouble
That’s actually really great advice. Thank you for adding that.
No problem 😁
Reblogged this on Freethinkers Notes and commented:
> “adults have no idea what they’re doing either”
Number 2 is right on point. I had to cut ties with my best friend of ten plus years because she was an overall “bad” person. It took me years to realize it when everyone else around me could.
Yeah I had a similar situation where a close friend of mine turned into a very toxic person and I had to cut ties with her. It takes a while to realise because I feel like we always want to see the best in the people we love but sometimes we need to let them go even if it hurts.
Wow if all these don’t apply to my life, I don’t know what does!
Glad you cab relate!