With the new year scarily close, we’ve all been sharing our goals for the next year. For this post I thought I would do something slightly different. Instead of sharing things I want to do or achieve in 2022 I thought I would share some things I want to stop doing next year.
Now, before everyone freaks out about this one give me a minute to explain exactly what I mean. I have always been sort of a more passive person. I’m not too aggressive and in general would consider myself a pacifist. Any real violence makes me cringe and gives me anxiety and so does the thought of expressing my feelings out loud. Due to that (and living in Canada, a country known for its people saying “sorry”) I tend to apologise even when I’m wrong just to end the argument or disagreement. I’m also usually the person in the middle trying to keep the peace when people around me fight.
But next year I want to grow a backbone and stop apologising. I mean, if I think I’ve done something genuinely wrong I will definitely apologise. If not, I’m just not going to apologise. I don’t care about hurting other people’s feelings if they don’t care about hurting mine. I’m done being Switzerland. From now on I’m going to be… I don’t know…but not Switzerland! (No offense to any Swiss people if a rich Swiss person wants to adopt me I would still be VERY down for that…)
Although I plan on growing a backbone, I also plan on picking and choosing my battles. Over the pandemic I have realised a couple of things. Firstly, you can’t argue with stupid. Secondly, it’s impossible to win against stupid. It’s a waste of my precious time and energy and at the end of the day they are never going to change their mind so why bother.
That’s why I have decided that next year I’m not going to be arguing with people I don’t think will ever take what I’m saying into consideration. If someone tells me 5+5 is 15 I’m going to be like “yup, sure is bud” and move on with my life.
I want to keep my energy positive and I always want to grow and better myself. I don’t want to waste my energy on people like that and I also don’t want people who refuse to grow or change anywhere around me. We all have those toxic people in our lives that feel like they know best and refuse to give anyone the time of day even if that person may know better. Those people are not worth wasting your energy over.
I feel like change is vital to growth and even just survival. I have been taking small steps in the right direction and being more open to change but I want to start taking bigger steps next year. However, one thing I am not going to be doing next year is changing for other people. I am still trying to find myself but I am going to try to be as authentically myself as I can possibly be. If people don’t like the real me they can yeet themselves out of my life.
Growing up I always felt like I had to hide my true self and it was really difficult. I think that’s where a lot of my anxiety and depression stems from and I have realised that embracing my true self has really helped me with my mental health and has really helped me love myself.
I know I don’t stare a lot about my depression with you guys because honestly it’s a tough topic for me to talk about but I have had some very dark days. I have been at a point where I didn’t have even one positive thing I could say about myself. I hated what I looked like and I hated myself. A few years ago I would never have been able to share pictures and videos of myself on social media let alone enjoy it. But over time things have changed and I refuse to let people make me feel bad about myself anymore.
I know there will definitely be times when people’s words effect me but I’m going to try my best to not keep changing myself to please others. Social norms are stupid and I absolutely refuse to follow them. (I also would like “social norms are stupid” written on a t-shirt so if you find one of those let me know…)
Taking Crap From Others
This is definitely one thing I will no longer be doing. I have always been somewhat of a people pleaser and tend to do things I don’t want to do to keep others happy and to be completely honest I’m at an age where I’m pretty done with that.
In 2022, I plan on not taking any crap from anyone and that includes people I care about. This year is going to be about me and trying to be the happiest I can be and if that pisses some people off that’s not my problem. Saying “no” is really important and that’s something I want to work on next year.
I’m a represser and always have been. I tend to repress my feelings and things and it’s really not very healthy. I’m always like “that’s future Pooja’s problem” but the thing is now I’m future Pooja and I have to deal with all this past crap and have no idea how to handle it. Clearly, repression doesn’t really work long term. To be fair, when I made my initial plan to repress everything I didn’t think I would make it to my twenties but here we are.
So next year, I really want to make it a habit to deal with things and not repress everything. If I have something to say I’m just going to say it. If I have something to work through that’s exactly what I’m going to do. It’ll be difficult and painful but I think it will be worth it in the long run.
I hope you guys enjoyed this post, Everyone was doing New Years goals which I plan to do later in the week but I thought I would do a sort of different post about it too.
Let me know in the comments what you don’t want to do next year! Or simply stop by and say hi because I love hearing from you in the comments!
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