Drowning In You

Drowning in the blue of his eyes

Deeper I fall

Until I can no longer breathe

Gasping for air

As we become one

The smell of him

Intoxicating me

I am lost with him

Time seems to have stopped

In this moment

There is nothing else

No one else

In this moment I am truly free

And yet I feel more caged than ever

Knowing that I can never go back

To life before you

I will forever be yours


Urghh. That’s how I feel today. Urghh. I had another post planned but didn’t feel like writing it. And then I wrote a couple of poem. But hated them. And then I wrote this poem. And hated it a little less. So I decided to post it. It’s the best you’re going to get out of me today. I actually do like the title “Drowning In You.” I generally hate my titles so it’s weird that I like this one but I think it goes with the vibe. Hope you enjoy the poem and if you do please let me know in the comments below! And let me know how your day is going. Hopefully, it’s a less “urghh” than mine.

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68 thoughts on “Drowning In You

  1. I love this. I totally understand the “Urgh’s”, I get them too. From here, it’s beautifully written and engulfing. ✨

  2. Love the title, it’s almost a poem by itself 🤣
    I struggle with titles I usually just add them as an after thought after I have finished writing because if I was to wait until I had a working title I probably would not write anything 😅
    So I’m constantly fascinated by those who can conjure a title and proceed to write under it 🤩

    Today was an hmmm let me snooze my alarm clock just one more time type of day
    Tommorow is another day

    ~B

    1. Thanks so much. I do the exact same thing 😂 I came up with the title after the poem was done because I had no idea what direction it was going in lol. I had a very similar day yesterday so that poem you added is so relatable 😴

  3. Nice poem. I recall a many of those myself.
    As for my day…it was packing things into boxes before I pack them into my auto tehn in a few days move elsewhere where I will unpack them from my auto only to unpack my stuff from those damn boxes. I need a large RV here I can just drive it all to a new place, park and be done.

    1. Moving is hard but I always sort of enjoy it because I get to throw away I lot of things I have hoarded. I’m such a hoarder. Good luck with the move.

  4. I really like it. It’s intense. It’s raw. It’s real. My day was kind of like that – intense, raw, real. Not the best, but not the worst. Keep posting. You’d be surprised who your writing and poetry might touch.

  5. Urgh!!!
    I totally love this poem.
    Good thing that you shared this. 🙂
    I love and respect how you manage to share something always. You are a magician.
    This poem is something a girl will say in the body spray commercial 😆
    I would like to know your emotions while writing this. Is it based on real events? You missing someone buddy? 😛

    1. Thank you so much! Haha not a magician just a perfectionist 😂
      Lol I wish it was based on real events, if only I liked anyone this much 😛

  6. I don’t know exactly how you would want to go beyond hating a little less, I’m not sure I understand the Uggness, but I’ve thought of a few rearrangements and separations you could think about:

    Drowning in the blue of his eyes
    deeper I fall into gasps
    last breaths of loneliness
    gasping as we become one

    I am intoxicated
    with the wine of him
    the smell of him, and
    I gasp for air until the
    moaning moment, when
    I can no longer breathe, and
    time seems to have stopped
    drowning with him in the ocean

    In this moment
    there is nothing else
    no one else

    In this moment I am truly free
    and yet I feel more caged than ever
    knowing that I can never go back
    to life before you, yes
    I will forever be yours
    ==========
    I’m also thinking that rather than change of voice at the end, you could use “you” instead of “him” throughout:

    Drowning in the blue of your eyes
    deeper I fall into gasps
    last breaths of loneliness
    gasping as we become one

    I am intoxicated
    with the wine of you
    the smell of you, and
    I gasp for air until the
    moaning moment, when
    I can no longer breathe, and
    time seems to have stopped
    drowning with you in the ocean

    In this moment
    there is nothing else
    no one else

    In this moment I am truly free
    and yet I feel more caged than ever
    knowing that I can never go back
    to life before you, yes
    I will forever be yours

    1. P.S. I took a quick peek at what Google does with Gujarati. And it does mangle it, but maybe it gave me some ideas. I think maybe past tense might clear up some things:

      Drowning in the blue of your eyes
      deeper I fell into the abyss of us
      the lonely me’s last breaths
      gasping as we became one

      I have been drunk
      with your wine
      your smell, and
      until I gasped for air
      at the moment of ecstasy, when
      I couldn’t breathe anymore, and
      time seemed to stand still
      I knew not that I’d drown
      in the oceanic bliss with you

      In that moment
      there was nothing else
      no one else

      At that moment I was truly free
      and yet I am more caged than ever
      knowing that I can never go back
      to life before you, yes
      I will be yours forever
      unless…

        1. I think I see a pattern in a few languages. I think they are using texts from Missionaries who were obsessed with translating the Christian bible into languages where it was totally inappropriate and not relatable. I think I once saw a strange use of “thee” and “thou” (which is not used in English anymore) in a translation of a Maori text (indigenous language of New Zealand).

          1. Interesting and yeah there were many translations of the Bible during colonisation. Not all languages can be translated appropriately. Some are so different from English/Hebrew.

  7. I loved it! It actually made me smile. And “Urgh” is how I’m feeling half the time since I’ve been participating in Nanowrimo 🙃

  8. Bless you. Hope things pick up soon. Am sure they will 🙏. I like the poem as it brings in more negative type words like intoxicated, aswell as deeper I fall, which could be seen as a good thing, so does show descent into something worse or deeper I guess 🙂

    1. Thanks so much, I’m sure they will too. That’s exactly what I was hoping the poem would be like. Something good that’s also dark. 😊

  9. I often feel that what I write doesn’t really reflect what I feel. I always feel that it is more beautiful in my mind, but when it comes out, it sounds not so…. It is always not as … Well… I don’t know how to describe it… Probably a ghost lives in the writing process and changes everything going through it.

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