The Lonesome Cactus

Like a cactus

I wound anyone who gets too close

And yet intimacy

Is what I crave the most

Resigned to a life of loneliness

I have accepted my fate

But yet I wait

For a lone flower to bloom

And bring a bit of joy

To my lonesome world

What can I say about “The Lonesome Cactus?” Well, I guess in a way I am the lonesome cactus but at the same time I am not. As you may or may not have guessed, I wrote this last week when I was still taking my cough syrup. Ah, the good old days.

Anyway, back to the poem and enough with the cough syrup. I do feel like a lonesome cactus sometimes and not just because it is cute and smol.

Happy Animation GIF by Motiongarten

I am a very introverted person most of the time. Honestly, I don’t particularly like having people around me very much and I don’t like spending time with people I don’t like/know too well. For the most part, I very much enjoy staying in and enjoy my own company. However, sometimes it does get lonely.

I don’t really do relationships because like I said I prefer my own company most of the time. But occasionally it does get lonely. I think I’ve been feeling like that because I’m at that age where everyone around me is getting engaged or married. It’s sort of weird but then I remember I have all my Lifesfinewhiners with me so I’m not really alone. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

What did you think of this poem? Let me know in the comments below because I would love to hear your thoughts. Or simply stop by and say hi!

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125 responses to “The Lonesome Cactus”

  1. You and I are much alike, Pooja. I prefer my own company too and don’t like huge crowds either. Staying in each evening is what I enjoy most. Ah the single life! ❤️

    1. Same here! ❤️

      1. You are welcome my friend! You too. ☺️

    1. Thank you!

  2. Even though I’m married, I’m very introverted and have social anxiety. I spend a lot of time alone/with my family and I STILL get lonely. The loneliness doesn’t really go away, even with marriage, kids, etc. Intimacy helps but the grass isn’t really all that greener on the other side. Trust me.

    1. Yeah I think it’s possible to get lonely even when you’re around people a lot. I don’t think marriage fixes things either which is why I stir clear of anything serious. I know it’s just not for me.

    2. My mom is an introvert and had us so she wouldn’t be lonely and it plagues me because I came out introverted and very negative towards outsiders. She never wants us to leave because she doesn’t want to make friends. :/

      1. I plan on raising my kids so they don’t resent me. When they’re ready to move out they’ll be free to do so. My husband and I hope to raise them so that they won’t be afraid of the world. My parents sheltered me a lot so I have a bit of resentment towards them – it might explain why I moved halfway across the country.

        My daughter is surprisingly very introverted and the complete opposite of me.

        1. Good luck. Parenting is hard work. I’m very introverted but I chat a lot when I’m not talking but I still have the fear my mom raised me with of strangers and other people. 🥲 I love my mom, as she did the best she could, but DANG, was some things difficult because of the shy and avoidant personality my mom gave to me.

  3. I am much like you. I like to just be alone a lot. It does get lonely causr when you don’t let people in, they walk away, when we really would prefer they occupy themselves with others until we come craving their company. I found a bar full of people who accept me when I feel like showing up.

    1. That’s lovely that you found that and yeah that’s why it gets lonely. Sometimes people forget about you when you aren’t around much.

  4. Wonderful writing

    1. Thank you so much.

      1. You’re welcome

  5. Ah, Pooja. ❤ Loved your poem. I imagine some extroverts get lonely too, as a person can be lonely amongst a crowd or a group of friends. Working out what you need in that given moment helps. Then you can go back to what you like to do best.

    1. Thank you. Yes, I agree extroverts must get lonely sometimes too.

  6. This was relevant to me, at least for the most part. I’m an INFJ personality type.

    1. I’m an INTP which may mean we’re somewhat similar and that’s probably why you found the poem relevant.

  7. A misnomer is that people who are introverted don’t experience loneliness. Wanting to be ‘alone’ and ‘loneliness’ are completely different states that respectively deserve attention or understanding. Very good poem.

    1. I absolutely agree. Thanks so much.

  8. It’s funny you mention the lonely cactus. I live in Arizona in the southwest US and we are surrounded by cactus.

    1. Oh wow, that’s really interesting. I love cactus water or cactus salad.

      1. Saguaro cactus are native to Arizona. They get to be big. I know it’s illegal to cut them down.

        1. Oh I see, are they in danger of going extinct?

          1. They were, but then they made it illegal to cut them down

            1. Oh okay, that makes sense.

  9. We love you too! Sometimes life is like that. I enjoy my own company, but honestly don’t get to spend much time alone. That’s not to say that I don’t experience loneliness at times. Sometimes I can be around a whole bunch of people and feel out of place and alone. Then I either leave or force myself to interact. I can generally get along with almost anyone, but I’m naturally kind of shy. Stretching my comfort zone is difficult, but very possible. Who knows? Maybe someone else was feeling lonely or out of place, and your conversation brought them some joy!

    1. Thanks! Yes, it’s a bit difficult for shy people to interact but totally possible. I hope that’s true, I hope I helped someone else feeling that way at some point!

  10. I like this poem! I can definitely relate. I like hanging out with others, but sometimes it can be a lot, and once I feel either too much negative or even positive energy of others drip and soak into me, I start to look for a way out to recoup. 😅 The internet makes me feel the same at times.

    I was like you before then all of a sudden a man who became my husband came into my life and kids after. It happens so fast and when you least expect it. However, I do think back to my little apartment when I used to live alone, and the freedom I had then that has dwindled somewhat now. Regardless, I am happy and know as the kids get older more freedom will return.

    I’m blabbing. Sorry. Had more than one glass of wine tonight and don’t work tomorrow. 🫠 #lightweight.

    Take care!

    1. This is first time, you have talked this much in a comment. Haha

      1. Haha, I was feeling pretty good last night. It’s nice to kickback sometimes. 🙂

        1. Stay this way 🤩

        2. I have a suggestion. Next time you read my blogs, you drink a lot of wine. Then you will be more chatty 🙂
          I enjoy this side of yours.

    2. I’m the same, I don’t necessarily mind spending time with people but I have a hard time spending too much time with others and like you I need some me time too.

      Aww that’s so nice! Sometimes we just meet the right people 😊

      Lol that’s okay, I’m a bit of a lightweight myself and get very chatty even after one drink 😂

  11. Very relatable poem ❤ Also, I am very confused by this song Tree Hugger’s style…but in a good way?

    1. Yeah the song is weird but in the best way. Thank you 😊

  12. I could somewhere relate!
    Very well written, Pooja.

    1. Thank you so much!

  13. Lovely poem. I understand being an introvert and there are times where we need company. I read all the comments thus far and they have all given great advise. I can’t think what else to add. Other than the feeling will pass and writing always helps figure things out. All the best.

    1. Thanks so much. Yeah the comments have been very insightful. Yes, writing does help.

  14. I don’t feel alone when I talk with you. ❤️

    1. Same here, you just get me ❤️

  15. Can totally relate to the poem, which I loved 😍

    1. Thank you so much 🥰

  16. I can relate to this poem. Even though I am married, I like my own company from time to time. I write better when I am alone. I really don’t like being around lots of people, or in big groups; work is different though, but sometimes it just pays to stay in. Thanks for sharing. Have a great week.

    1. Thanks so much. Yes, many people feel like they need their alone time too. Have a great week as well.

    1. Thank you.

  17. Lovely poem and cute cactus 😍

    1. Thanks so much 😊

  18. Most relatable. I’ve gone from being an introvert to more an ambivert so long as I can control my environment, pick and chose what I will or will not engage in or who, including leaving anywhere I no longer feel comfortable. And I keep “my area”, narcissistic and drama free. I’m estranged from many family members and former friends who do not respect me or my way of life and I’m much healthier for it. “Love me as I am or leave me to myself.” 😉

    1. I went from introvert to ambivert and now I feel like I’m sort of back to introvert. Not everyone is supposed to stay in your life, sometimes you outgrow them and sometimes they outgrow you. That’s life I guess.

      1. I’m sorry if you feel you regressed backwards. I don’t believe I ever outgrow anyone however I will again I’ve learned to let almost all others go if they felt they outgrew me.

        1. I don’t know if it’s exactly regressing, more like just learning and changing over the years. Yes, it’s best to let people go if they no longer want to be in your life.

    2. You can’t become an ambivert. Introvert has to do with energy than any stereotypical personality. If you get tired being around a lot of people and personality and being with groups dries out your energy then you’re an introvert. If you gain more energy being in groups and get scared or depressed being alone then you are an extrovert. Introverts can get lonely but taking lonely time helps them get back on track. An ambivert is allegedly somewhere in the middle of the spectrum but…everyone can be that, nobody is 100%, however most people like segregating themselves into a personality trait so you pick one.

      1. False but nice try.

        1. Ok, sir. 🤷🏾

  19. nice write up.

    1. Thank you so much.

  20. Loved it…was relatable for the most part.

    1. Thank you so much.

  21. There is a sea of loneliness where the passing ships and fish mostly express curiosity at best and the appetite of a shark at worst. The waters of conversation are mostly pseudo-interactions and actual personal information or actual feelings are not mutually exchanged. There are many ritual greetings, games, and little speeches, but few would care to know what it would be like to be the other. But a mutual intimate knowing of the other is a dangerous thing if that knowledge is used as a weapon for power games. It seems rare to feel another’s feelings and to lose one’s self in them, both becoming one thought so that the lonely self disappears in a blended identity. To be fully one’s self is the ultimate loneliness. When talking to one’s self, it is a simulation of a conversation of two people which is internalized, but one lonely person would wish that one of those two imaginary people were real and the other were self waiting for the magic blend. A mutual exchange is an intimacy: one plus one equals one. In cacti math, one plus one equals two lonely glochids and spines.
        I give you my ritual “Hi,” and wish you joy. May your flowers bloom.

    1. I often wish the people in my imagination were real. They get me so well, probably because I write their dialogues. Thanks and thank you for your comment.

  22. Touching poem. sort of, love me from a distance but close enough that I might admire.

    1. Yes, exactly getting too close to me sometimes hurts.

  23. I love the poem!

  24. Beautiful poem Pooja.
    It’s interesting that you talk about the sad stuff, but then also you talk about the positive like how Lifefinewhineres are always with you.
    Which is true, you are never alone.
    I understand what you mean by this blog my friend. I, too, feel lonely sometimes, especially on Sunday evening, I don’t feel like talking to anyone. Right now, I haven’t spoken a word for the last 2-3 hours. I don’t know why I enjoy being silent nowadays. But, sometimes I do want to talk to someone, but I don’t find anyone. I am older than you, so I should be married by now, haha. But, I feel I am not ready. From last few years, I am completely changed. Gym or blogging are only 2 things, that I truly enjoy.
    If you want someone in your life, I hope you find them soon. If not, then you invest more time to self-love. Trust the process and things will take you in a certain direction automatically.
    A clever post btw, if anyone would say awww pooja, here’s a hug for you, they can’t even hug you because you are a cactus right now.
    Btw specialty of cactus is, they survive harsh weathers and always stand tall.

    1. Thank you.

      Yes, I am somewhat of an unstable person so I tend to go from sad to positive pretty quickly lol. Just kidding (not really).

      Sorry you’ve been feeling lonely too and I feel like as you grow older you tend to become more introverted. That’s how I am too. I could sit quietly all day and be happy with that.

      For now, I’m working on me. Then I’ll see if I want to meet someone. I hope you also find someone if that is what you are looking for.

      That’s very uplifting, you’re right cacti are very resilient.

      1. You take care buddy!
        LIFESFINEWHINER got your back 🙌🏻
        More power to you

  25. Love this!

    1. Thank you!

  26. Same with me. I’m also an introvert and I too don’t like to spend much time with people unfamiliar to me.

    1. Yes, I think many introverts feel that way.

  27. Yess, pooja you’re not alone for sure. I can relate to you as I’m also an introvert and it’s really a task for us to maintain relationships. Sometimes we want to be all alone and sometimes we start feeling lonely.
    I hope you find someone soon!!😌💗

    1. Thanks so much. Yes, it’s difficult since we often prefer our own company. Thanks! 😊

  28. I cherish the alone time. Although I enjoy the company of others, I don’t like the drama and commitment that sometimes come with it.

    The poem, to me, expresses conflict of loneliness but hints towards the true desire. Although loneliness is the subject here, conflict within ourselves is shared universally. And writing the conflict out, for me, always provides great insight.

    Beautiful and very raw/heartfelt poem. ❤️

    1. Yes, alone time is usually my favourite time. I find other people difficult to have around me constantly.

      Thank you so much 💖

  29. Yeah, it’s scary, specially seeing your friends get married at a young age!
    PS- liked the poem
    PPS- Are you alright now?

    1. Yeah it’s so weird. Thanks and yeah I am much better now.

  30. I love your beautiful self-reflective poem, Pooja. Now that I live in the desert, I am learning a lot about cacti. Incredible plants, so well adapted to their environment. May you embrace the wisdom of cactus, feel at home in your body and bloom bright!

    1. Thank you so much. Yes, they are fascinating plants and can survive very extreme climates. 🌵

  31. This is so me – I loved it! And I love the cactus gif!

    1. Thank you so much!

  32. I think the cactus is a good analogy really. I can relate to the prickly feeling of having that psychological barrier to closeness. It is often similar with me in that I also prefer to be on my own or with my online friends, or spending some meaningful time with close friends. I think I am saying it is quality rather than quantity of time with others. I am a bit older than you but still at the phase of friends getting married and having kids so I know it well. And then you have those gatherings where your younger siblings are partnered up. I think though once you truly accept yourself as you are none of that matters. There are no deadlines in life. Only made up expectations and times. Nice poem 🙂

    1. Thanks so much. Yes, I agree it’s all about the quality of the time spent with others. “There are no deadlines in life” I like that and that’s a great way of looking at it.

      1. Thanks and very welcome 🙂

  33. Great poem! I love cactus. I purchased a couple cactus plants the last couple years. They aren’t trying to hurt us. Just protecting themselves which I totally understand 🙂

    1. Thanks! Yeah I think protecting oneself is natural especially if you’ve been through a lot. And as plants normally found in harsh conditions cacti definitely go through a lot.

  34. I like the poem, it would be a good analogy for a person such as myself who struggles with mental illness. All the emotions that seem to poke out from me at different times seems to present a defense mechanism much like the needles of a cactus.

    1. Thank you and I am glad I’m not alone in feeling this way. A lot of times we learn to have needles to protect us because we’ve been trough tough situations.

  35. I think that cactus’s aren’t the best description for you, maybe a rose bush?

    Anyway, you are who you are and you must embrace it. I seem normal on here but I’m a strange person most people can’t stand after a while due to the things I say or how I act and they feel like I am the problem and I must change. I don’t feel like changing so I have to cope with being that way. It is what is, I can’t hold a relationship and I’m much too insecure to be in one and I’d make the person miserable anyway.

    All the stuff that’s considered normal and forced onto us is just an option on how you want to be. There’s always gonna be someone who likes it, someone who complains, someone who’s better, and someone who’s worse. That’s fine. Being confident is always the best thing and that’s one of the strong suits about your account. You’re confident.

    1. Yeah, I think rose bush works too.

      I’m pretty strange/weird too. It has to do with how I was raised I think. And the fact that I’m a writer doesn’t help since I think creative people are usually a bit weird anyway.

      Yes, the best thing we can be is ourselves no matter how different we are from the norm. Thank you so much.

      1. Many fine arts and applied arts are first coping mechanisms for things we may lack, stressors in life, and what we want to be (this doesn’t apply to everyone) so of course those activities are very isolating and require watching people from afar whether that’s socially or in person instead of actively interacting and engaging thus never really developing skills for socialization.

        I think that’s my main one. I get very tired easily around people and even though I can talk for hours, I just get so sleepy that I gotta sleep or chill out by myself which makes things harder and being an undiagnosed neurodivergency because my mom doesn’t like diagnoses like that so I get isolated from my peers and am two steps up from being a dysfunctional NEET. 😣

        I can’t say I’m that eccentric…but going on my blog, would you say I stick out?😭 (a lot of WP bloggers are a little eccentric as well so I probably don’t.)

        1. Yes, I think that’s how I got into writing and art. It was an escape for me and it helped me express myself.

          I’m like that too. I find socialising so exhausting. I even get headaches sometimes if I force myself to socialise too much.

          I don’t think your blog sticks out like that. I have met some extremely eccentric bloggers and you seem quite normal in comparison. And even in general.

          1. Ah, I used to go to summer camp and would hide in the bathroom to so I didn’t have to play games with people and have my notebook occasionally and would be drawing in there and I also did that to high school. It was hilarious and very teenagerish of me.

            And I suspected that! I tried to make it tame (not that I would be creepy, but I can just give off Mad Hatter vibes sometimes) and stay somewhat on topic. I definitely follow some strange people on here and their content doesn’t stick out like their comments.😂 I love it.

            Ikr, I feel stranger than I actually am, but being strange definitely isn’t unique and some of the more typical people have notable eccentricities that make them more irregular than I.

            I have people that kinda can guess the music I like based off of my clothes and my personality to a T, but others can’t. That’s how I know I must have a generic personality because the former happens more.

            1. I spent a lot of time avoiding people as a kid and teenager too.

              Haha well we all put on a normal face for others in one way or another. A lot of people think I’m very odd in real life but I don’t think I give off that vibe on my blog as much. Although I’m sure I do sometimes. We always think we’re unique because of our eccentricities but the truth is we’re unique just like everyone else.

  36. great song and post Pooja! If we can all just be who we are, we would be so much happier! 💞

    1. Thank you! Agreed 💕

      1. Absolutely!!!! 💗

  37. I had a cactus before. It was very cute and I put those googly eyes on it. But I couldn’t pet it because it had tough spikes.

    1. Yeah cacti usually are difficult to touch due to the spikes.

  38. Me too. I really reverberate with your pretty cactus. LOL. And if you have your own unique goals or unique taste, sometimes it is difficult to immerse in the activities that everybody else is enjoying. I wish I can enjoy sports, which can make me enthusiastic about World Cup for example, but I don’t. LOL. I guess it is something one has to continue to explore to find solutions…

    1. Lol thank you. I’m not a sports person either although I always watch the World Cup finals. Not all the matches though. It’s fun being different but it also gets lonely sometimes.

  39. Fun fact about cacti (I learned this recently when building a lecture on photosynthesis), they use CAM photosynthesis which is unique to them and other succulents. This means they only open their stomata (think little breathing holes) when it is relatively cool so less moisture is lost. To me this shows how cacti are extremely smart and take advantage of good timing!

    I’m sorry at times you feel lonely. That stinks! But remember, the grass may look greener on the other side but it never really is – even people who are extroverted and partnered also feel lonely at times. And in my opinions, feeling lonely around others is much worse. I’m glad you enjoy your own company! I enjoy your company via your blog posts as well!

    1. Hmm very interesting I didn’t know that about cacti. Thanks for sharing it, makes me feel much smarter haha!

      Yeah I agree, we all get lonely sometimes and it would suck to be lonely when surrounded by others. I’m so happy to hear that you enjoy my posts 🙂

  40. As an ambivert, I feel like I can be stuck between a rock and hard place sometimes when it comes to loneliness. I need a lot of Alone Time, and I cherish it

    1. I feel the same way. It’s so hard to find a balance between alone time and social time.

  41. I can relate to it too. I may not be of the age where everyone around me is marrying or such, but it can happen when all your friends seem to be happy in a relationship while you’re munching on potato chips. Although then, I remember that I’m fine with being by myself and that settles it for me. Plus I don’t have to share my potato chips so it’s a win-win. Great blog, Pooja!

    1. Haha yes, having chips to yourself is always a good thing. Thanks!

  42. Very original Poem and nicely written! 🙂

    1. Thank you so much! 🙂

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