I Miss The Old Me

Sometimes

I look at the mirror

And don’t recognise the person

Staring back at me

I feel like a shell of who I once was

A broken, colourless version of myself

I look at the mirror

And

I miss the old me


I know I just posted a poem yesterday and I try to never post poetry more than once a week. But today is a busy day for me. I need to finish all my work a little earlier than usual because I want to have dinner with a friend. She’s only in town for a few days. And poetry is a little easier for me to write and takes less time. So I’m posting another poem today too.

“I Miss The Old Me” is about how when we grow up we give up parts of who we were. Sometimes it’s on purpose and other times it just happens. And often it can be due to societal pressures. We can try to keep that childish wonder etc but the truth is growing up changes you. You can never truly be the same as you were when you were younger. And honestly I’m okay with that. I know change is a constant part of life. But at the same time I do sometimes mourn that version of me. I do still miss her. When I read my old posts I feel sad sometimes because I’m not that Pooja anymore.

How do you feel about growing up? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Or simply stop by and say hi!

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132 thoughts on “I Miss The Old Me

    1. I really agree with you. But I used to say that too only to realize it was a part of me that was blocked because I only allowed myself to be logic and emotional with what I write

  1. There was a song from the 90s sung by Patty Loveless that had the line “life’s about changing nothing ever stays the same,” which I think pretty much sums up life. You mentioned growing up. The song also has the line, “it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry.” Growing pains are also a part of life. Maybe there is comfort in the thought that someday we will see it was worth it as we become better people over time.

  2. I’ve been reflecting lately too about how i used to be. Didn’t have a care in the world when i was a kid and i felt so free! But at the same time when i think about certain parts of my life i cringe 😂 and I’m happy I’ve grown up a bit a changed for the better!

  3. Growing up feels like betraying myself in so many ways. The desire to fit in kills every single cell that is truly me in me. I don’t like it to be honest. I became someone else’s bad copy for the sake of being ‘normal’, for the sake of being socially accepted. I disdain it. First of all, it doesn’t really help me to be better understood or liked. Second of all, people who truly appreciate me don’t demand all this bs. So what’s the point then? At the end of the day, you are who you are…

    1. Yes, I think that way too. I feel like it can be so difficult to remain your true self as we get older. We try to fit in but it feels like you’re pretending to be someone you aren’t.

    1. That’s not my experience, though, if you take a longer view. Yes, responsibilities and opportunities change as we grow older, and they never stop changing. So that while I know the sad or dreary parts of life that you mention, they passed. And at 83, life is precious. Impossible to see the young me in the mirror, but i am befriending the new me.

      1. It’s great to hear that you have a positive perspective on life and are embracing the changes that come with aging. Cherishing every moment and being grateful for what we have can bring a sense of contentment and peace. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

  4. One thing you cannot tell by looking the pic of that sweet little girl is one day she’ll become the best blogger.

    I’m sure if you look back in the mirror, that mirror will tell you that you are confident, you are amazing and you are exceptional.

    1. Yes, I miss that too. I haven’t read more than two or three books in a month in so long. Before I would read like 8-10 books a month.

  5. I like your poem. Sometimes I miss the younger me who had not a care in the world, but we grow and change before we know it. Life is funny like that. I saw gray hair I didn’t know were in my head, and I mean directly in the front. I thought it was a piece of lent, but that’s alright. I look at it as growing wise. Thanks for sharing. Have a great weekend.

    1. Thanks so much. Life is definitely complicated as we get older. I see a couple of hairs already and it’s kind of scary. But it is what it is. Thanks and have a great weekend too.

  6. There’s a funny thing about the mirror. You can try to be the bailiff and ask for the courtroom oath,”Raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth…”. But the mirror person will raise its left hand in which case it’s probably lying. But then, you can raise your left hand, in which case you’re lying, and the mirror person is telling the truth. When a person with a mole on the right side of their face looks, the mirror person tells them the mole is on the left side. One is sinister perhaps. Photos (unless the negative is turned around) show it correctly.
        Some day there will be a 3D printer that will use a video of you to make a statue of your younger self. Then, you can worship it or topple it in a public square.
        I wonder if a poem being a mere reflection of an image is left-handed.

    1. That’s a very interesting way to look at it. I think the thing about our memories is that we tend to look at things with rose-tinted glasses. It may not have been that great.

  7. I can relate. Life was so much easier (and fun!) in my younger years. But slowly over time, the responsibility grows. Purchase of a house, birth of children, loss of parents who were always your security blanket. Then kids grow up and start their own life and you look back and wish for the less complicated days that were filled with determination of the next step you need to take. Somewhere along the timeline, you realize you lost yourself along the way.

  8. The thing about growing up is that we change in one way or another.
    I love every bit of growing up because I learn new things and better ways of doing things.
    The part I miss about the old me is my teenage body. 😄

  9. Pooja, I think it’s imperative we grow old while maintaining some of that childhood wonder and joy. Otherwise, we can become cynical and questioning over not just everything but everyone! That leads to misery and unhappiness – disappointing for self but on a massive level, a detriment to society. Ask yourself what it is that you are doing or not doing that feels sad for you and then make your way back to incorporating those pieces of yourself into your life. It might take longer than you’d like but what else is more important than living YOUR life?

  10. I was the girl in your poem at one point. But I realize now that I was so scared to let go of my old self because I was scared of change. Looking at me from today, I am so happy and excited to be who I become, and I’m so happy that I was finally able to let go of the old me. Amazing things can happen if we let go of the fear.

  11. There are no rules that say we CANNOT reclaim a part of ourselves that got lost along the way through life’s difficulties, once we decide to make a change or if we remove ourselves from a situation and feel free once again to e our genuine selves!

    What are you missing from the old you that you could reincorporate into your life as it is now, to allow those good feeling to be part of your life once more?

    1. Mainly it’s just that I used to be able to do things without fear but after getting an anxiety disorder it’s not like that anymore. I just wish I could go back to being fearless. Maybe I can someday.

        1. Thanks and I am working towards a life where I can be free of fear but I don’t know how that’s going to work out. All I can do is hope for the best.

          1. One moment at a time. I remember when my anxiety was the highest was when my self esteem was lowest and so I was very hard on myself for any little reason, which ended up being a downward spiral. Working on improving my perception of myself helped my worrying and my anxieties, even though I didn’t see the connection at the time. Maybe this could help you too?

            1. Yeah, my anxiety was much worse and I was the same when I was at my lowest. I’m better now and working on getting well again but some days are just tougher than others. That does help, thank you.

  12. I know change is the only constant and one has to keep growing and evolving to survive, but I think one must never lose the parts of them that one loved the most.
    In the past 1 year, I’ve also changed a lot, I’m not the same person anymore but I won’t let the essence of me (that I love) fade away.
    You shouldn’t either!
    You look very cute in that picture💕

  13. I love that photo of you as a child. So adorable. Miss the old me too, but I think that part of ourselves never vanishes completely. 💕

  14. This is a thought-provoking post, Pooja. It’s inevitable that we change over our lifetimes, but as we mature and realize we don’t need to fit others’ molds, we can reclaim ourselves. Some do that earlier and some later, some not at all. Now that I’m retired, I have way more fun, and don’t care as much about what other people think. It was too long coming, but I’m grateful for the shift.

    1. Thank you. Yes, change is inevitable but sometimes it leaves us a little hollow. I hope I can get to that part where I just have fun without caring.

  15. I don’t like my old days of growing up, but I understand that many people like it. For example, poets like Wordsworth always talks about his days of growing up. He is obsessed with it. I somehow think that he writes poems only for the purpose of reproducing those days in his mind. I think it really works for him that he can produce something sad and delightful at the same time.

  16. Yes it’s always hard to look back and not feel some type of way about old times. But it’s shows that you’re growing and changing in a powerful way. The new Pooja is worth cheering for!

  17. I miss the old me too because I was such a carefree kid. Also, I’m so happy that I had a childhood free from technology. When I take time off from tech, I tell myself I’m going back to the 90s

  18. There are parts of the old me that I miss occasionally but with age and experience comes wisdom. So some of the things that I know now I wish I had known when I was younger. But we are where we are supposed to be and a little more aware of life.

  19. This poem really made me reflective. I think about my old self a lot. I feel really fortunate for my old self. He made the decisions (most of them good) that got me to where I am now. That said… I don’t know that I “miss” the old me as much as I miss the feeling of youth, being surrounded by other young people, and having what felt like limitless options in front of me. You can take on new things as you get older (and you should!), but you can’t really gather everyone in your community who is your own age and make them go through it with you.

    It’d be cool if you could, though.

      1. I generally like getting older (aside from the constant betrayals of my increasingly decrepit body.) The biggest upside is that I feel like I’m aging into my grumpy personality. I’ve kind of been a grumpy old man since I was a kid.

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