What advice would you give to your teenage self?
I am not particularly interested in WordPress prompts and I actually have a “What Grinds My Gears” post ready to publish for today. But today’s WordPress prompt caught my attention. It asked, “What advice would you give to your teenage self?” The truth is this is a topic I already wanted to write a post about. So my other post will be saved for next week. Today, instead I will share some advice to my teenage self that I would give her.
Advice to My Teenage Self
Here is the main advice to my teenage self:
Stop
The very first advice I would give to my teenage self is to stop. I would tell myself to stop doing too much. Don’t sacrifice your mental and physical health for grades, popularity of anything. These things you’re crying and freaking out about right now are so insanely insignificant. It may seem like the end of the world but it’s really not even worth your time and energy.
Set Boundaries
The next thing I would say is, please set boundaries. With everyone. I have always been a bit of a pushover and a people pleaser. Setting boundaries is still really hard for me but I’m better at it. As a teenager, I was awful at boundaries. I would do things for people simply because they asked. And people would sometimes take advantage and use me because of this. I wish I had only spent my energy on those that deserved it. So, I would tell myself to set strong boundaries and save my time and energy for those people that deserved it. I think not having boundaries also made my depression and anxiety much worse. Like they were at their worst when I was a teenager.
Make Good Decisions
I made too many stupid decisions when I was a teenager. I’m sure most people can relate to that, lol. Teenagers are stupid most of the time. It is what it is. With the hormones, the physical and mental changes etc it’s hard to navigate your teen years. And I know that teenagers are actually very smart/intelligent especially these days. But it’s also insanely easy to make dumb decisions as a teenager that may ruin your life. So yes, younger Pooj, please make better decisions.
Cherish These Years
Lastly, I would say, cherish these years. Nothing is ever the same when you grow up. Your teenage years may seem like they’ll last forever. You may feel like you’ll always be this person. But you won’t and they certainly won’t. You grow up and you change. It is what it is. You’ll have less time for hobbies, friends, family and even your blog. So cherish this time. Make memories, do what you love and be happy instead of sulking in your room all day.
Conclusion And A Question For You
I have a very complicated relationship with my teenage self. A lot of it comes from who I was and who I am now. If you knew me as a high schooler you may not even recognise the person I’ve become now. A part of me feels like I sold out. I’m no longer the rebel with very specific causes. I’ve succumbed to many social norms I despised.
But at the same time I’m finally truly myself in so many ways. I think my teenage self would be so proud of this blog, of my writing endeavours and my eyebrows which are finally starting to grow back after I accidentally shaved them twice. Yes, that can happen…
Anyway, this was the advice I would give my teenage self. And now I have one question for you. What advice would you give your teenage self? Let me know in the comments below because I would absolutely love to hear your advice! Or simply stop by and say hi!
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Great words of advice!
Thanks so much!
All good points, Pooja. I would advise my teenage self to not drink as much as I did and more. Nobody can change time so we must move on. Great post. ❤️
That’s a good one. I think I would tell myself to drink less too. Especially as an older teen. Thanks ❤️
You are welcome. ☺️
My little post on these WordPress prompts isn’t as diplomatic as yours however I give you kudos for posting something earnest to consider to your former self.
Thank you so much.
Those years can be so bittersweet, right? 🥹🥰 That’s a big question for me, but simply I would say “find a good mentor” and “get a math tutor, you can do this!” I hope you have some great memories from your teenage years, even though it can be a difficult time!
Yes, those are very bittersweet areas but of course we have many good memories too 😊
Nice post!
advice for my teenage self is to be ok with not being ok, being true to myself unapologetically, and trying new things.
Thanks! That’s really good advice to yourself.
Very well said!
thanks !
One major piece of advice I’d give my younger self is to learn how to advocate for yourself!
That’s a really good piece of advice!
Smile, don’t be so depressed all the time, think of these years as something special and wonderful, do more dumb things and go to church less LOL – this is what I would advice to my younger self.
Lol yes I needed to be happy more as well.
Take care of yourself😊✌
Love your advice!
Thank you!
You are welcome
All these are good pieces of advice and worthy of serious consideration. Stopping oneself from being a part of a mad race, and setting up clear boundaries are essential to lead a normal, healthy life. Life is very precious and must not be squandered for the sake of fleeting fame or recognition. We must not let others to dictate our lives.
Since all these points resonate with me, so my advice will almost be the same to my younger self.
Thanks so much. I agree, boundaries are so vital. I wish I had learnt that sooner.
Yup, I can definitely relate to your advice. 😅
I didn’t like who I was as a teenager. My main one would be respect my parents and don’t give them such a hard time. Specifically my mother. Secondly, would be don’t be involved doing things you shouldn’t be doing. Back then, what I saw as “fun & thrilling” was really toxic and not life giving. I’m glad God had mercy on me, because whew. 😭
Thanks 😊
I was the same as a teen and did really stupid stuff for “fun.” I wish I had been nicer to my family too.
Mine would be: DO go away to university and get a degree! Both will save you SO much grief later on!!
That’s a good one! If only we could go back!
Well, that also means potentially reliving some of the things we went through, for who knows, maybe we were supposed to experience those things, no matter what choices we made, for it is all part of what made us who we are right now!
That’s very true, the reason we are who we are is because of those experiences.
Yup, as hard as that is to accept sometimes! The “what if” road can have many potholes and rabbit holes down into less than ideal thinking!
I would tell myself it’s okay we survive this and have a wonderful life.
That’s really nice, I would want to tell my teen self that too.
Great bits of advice! Those are thing I would tell myself to. So many of them resonated with me: set boundaries, stop freaking out, and see the bigger picture.
Thanks and yeah I think we have similar issues as teens so many of us would give our younger selves similar advice.
We live and learn!
Ok, I must ask the obvious question first…how do you accidentally shave off your eyebrows once, much less twice?!! Mind boggling! For my teenage self, I would say, embrace who you are. You are so awesome, and if others don’t see that, that’s their issue, not yours. Also, I am very proud of you for being you in your later high school years. Those who truly knew you knew that you were sure of yourself and awesome to boot! I would say, I wish you had held onto more of that identity when you met and fell in love with your husband. Now that he is past, you are finally getting it back. Keep going!
Lol it can happen. Eyebrows are tricky 😂
That’s great advice and I am very happy to hear you’re finding yourself again. Be careful to protect the real you now and don’t let anyone make you feel like you need to change!
Making good decisions decide your life path. I regret that if I was more mature I could have made better decisions in life.
The other thing I learnt is that all you have is yourself. No one cares. There’s nothing in being selfish for yourself. Just try to be independent early in life so you can fulfill your dreams and you don’t have to be dependent on others.
Also, peace of mind is important in life so distance yourself from people who are not good for your mental health.
That’s true, at the end of the day you’re all you have.
Most importantly, make good decisions.
Yes, very important to do that.
Great advise to yourself, Pooja.
I always think it’s a pity we can not go back and do stuff differently.
Never lose your identity as an individual. Once done, it’s almost impossible to find again.
Very true, it’s important to be yourself no matter what.
I wish, it would be so nice to be able to go back and make better decisions. Unfortunately, life isn’t that simple lol.
Unfortunately not… We can hope our past choices made us wiser for the future ones😁
Yes, all we can do is learn and try to get better 😀
I was also a pushover who struggled to set boundaries (did I even know what boundaries were?🤔) And I also spent way too much time worrying about the insignificant stuff so I can relate so much to your post. I think I’d also add: don’t let your shyness hold you back from trying new things and having fun.
That’s a good one. As someone who grew up shy I would say that to myself too.
My advice to my teenage self: The world will not end due to an ice age, overpopulation, shortage of drinking water, or nuclear war by 2000. Get married, have kids, and save for retirement, plus all that Pooja G said.
Oh yeah, I remember a lot of people had those fears in the nineties.
I would tell my teenage self to slow down.
That’s very good advice.
Thanks.
You’re very welcome.
Great points, Pooja.
I would advise my teenage self to be more confident and stand out of crowd!
Thanks so much and yes those are great points too!
One advice that I would love to give my teenage self is beware of fake and manipulative people. They have sneaky ways to let down hard working people to gain favour for themselves. Everyone wants to progress in life but its just wrong to push other people down to rise up in rank.
recognizing them is hard tho
Yes, it’s easy to fall for people like that and their tricks when you’re young.
this post made me to come out with my own. not sure where the WordPress popping this prompt tho. i think I’m becoming rebel now than my teenage years. i could’ve been a rebel earlier.
I think in some ways I’m more rebellious and in some ways less.
😂 it save us
Hi 🙂
Hey (why the short comments??)
Sometimes I have nothing to say!!
Also, my mood was off then 😝. I just wanted to participate.
What you have become is a confident and inspiring woman. You have talked about your past in few other blogs of yours, but you overcome that with your determination.
This is not just an advice by your to your younger self( not saying you are old now, Ms Gen Z), but this is an advice for every teenager. People get confused a lot about life and everything and they don’t even know what’s happening with them. This blog will guide them. 😁
.
I love the idea, I would love to write a blog on this if you allow. 🙂
Thanks! Hope you’re in a better mood now although it seems you are haha.
.
I appreciate your kind words and yes definitely write a blog post on this topic if you feel like it. I would love to read yours as well.
My mood fluctuates, but I am lifesfinewhiner for life, so let’s say your blog is a good healer.
I won’t say what will I say to my teenage self, but if I see your teenage self, I would say to that girl that :
“One day you will become the best blogger, so keep pushing hard”.
Thanks. My teenage self may terrify you though lol.
🤔🤷🏻♂️😝
It’s funny how as adults we think we know what is best for our teenage selves. It was my adult self which needed the help. So I would keep my mouth shut and let my teenage self experience her life as it was meant to unfold. I would tell her it’s going to be a wild ride and to embrace each moment.
that’s so interesting. I’ve had the opposite experience especially with my mental health.
I think it is my adult self that needs the advice from my present self!
Understood, sometimes our younger self is wiser!
Hey Pooja!
My advise to my teenage self- don’t stop reflecting on your day, continue to spend time with yourself.
*advice! Stupid autocorrect!
That’s a great piece of advice that I’m sure your younger self would appreciate!
Thank you for this. For most of us this is now hindsight. I will share this list with my children.
Thanks and I hope it’s beneficial for them.
Kind of funny. You have many, many more years ahead of you than behind.(insert cliche). 2 cents: If not for who you were- you wouldn’t be who you are. Yes?
I definitely understand what you mean. But personally the things I hate about myself as an adult are usually the consequence of bad choices as a teen.
I Like that Pooj.
My advice to myself would be – do the same but more! Chances only come once – seize them all! Don’t allow fear of failure to hold you back. Go for it!
Thanks and I like you’re advice too, you’re so right!
My teenage self wouldn’t listen!
Haha I don’t think mine would either!
I’d tell myself to leave sooner and run farther
If only we could go back in time.
great post and the things we do as teens.. Glad your eye brows are coming back. My mothers never did. ❣️
Thanks, I was scared mine wouldn’t either but rosemary oil is helping them grow back 😊
This is an awesome idea, to see where the missteps happened and what we learn from them. Perspective is everything when dealing with our pasts.
I might have to steal the idea from you 😉 is that cool?
Thanks so much and yes absolutely feel free to use the idea 😊
I will make sure I mention you for the inspiration 😊
Thanks, I appreciate that 🙂
The only advice I’d give my teenaged self is “Stop Panicing! I’ll work itself out. 🤣😎🙃
That’s good advice, wish someone had told me that.
Your list of advice seems pretty complete to me, Pooja. I suppose I’d add that if I couldn’t cherish those teenage years, then making it through them was worth it to get to what comes next (which was true!).
Thanks so much, true it was worth getting through them to get here.
I would tell myself: Chioma, it gets better. Believe in yourself and have fun. I might sound crazy now but you will miss these crazy years soon.
So true, these are the years we look back on and miss.
Dear teen Ib,
Please be more confident in yourself. People think you’re snobby and proud because you don’t talk to them but they don’t know it’s really because you’re insecure and shy. Believe me, there’s nothing to be shy about. You have an amazing personality and the more you became confident in yourself, the more people saw that. You might no one wants to talk to you but they do, they’re also just shy😂 so GO FIRST
And even if things don’t work out, it won’t even matter in a few days.
Also, love yourself more girl. Stop waiting for people to love you.
Yes to all of these. As someone who grew up shy and introverted I can so relate.
Like I wish I knew earlier 🥺
I was so misunderstood 😭 people really thought I was proud when I was just shit scared
Lol same. People thought I was mean but I was actually just shy.
Good observation, Pooja.
Thank you so much.
♥️
You have provided great advice all of us would have loved to knew in our teenage years, I struggled with anxiety in my teenage years, so if I had it all to do again I would reach out for help instead of staying quiet as I did the first time
Thank you. Yes, as someone who also has anxiety and struggled with it as a teen I think that’s would be good. If only we knew earlier to reach out.
Anxiety was not well known where I lived as a teenager, it was not unitl my 30s I started understanding what was going on with me
Yes, mental health wasn’t always this openly discussed.
I think since it has become so much more common the mental health issues have become more open today than yesterday
Your teenage self would be blown away by your blog! Keep up the great work girlie.
Thank you, I think she would be very proud!
That’s awesome Pooja! You are doing great young lady.
Thanks!
Exactly the advices I would tell my teenage self! Love your post!
Thanks so much!
You don’t always have to explain yourself to people
That’s very good advice.
Forget about going to college: it might never happen. Forget about what others think about you: it doesn’t matter. Take care of yourself; stop neglecting yourself, your hygiene, overall needs, and mental health. Keep doing what you love and focusing on the things you care about. GET OFF KEPPRA! (seriously, it would change everything!) Maybe work on looking a bit more presentable.
Those are great pieces of advice to give your teenage self.
Really great post as always Pooja. Funnily enough my daughters asked me the same question just recently I said I would tell my younger self to invest in myself a lot more and never give up no matter what detractors may have to say you and I 100% agree we all need to cherish those years as they come and go so quickly. Also I think teenage you would be very proud of what you are achieving today.
Thank you so much. That would be good advice for your younger self as well. I wish I had invested in myself more back then too.
I definitely wish I could go back and do more with my teenage years 😭
Same here 😞
Be nicer to “M”, you’re going to marry him one day 🤣.
Aww that’s sweet 😅
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I really feel that “setting boundaries” is not an easy thing to do. I have experienced being ridiculed for being too easy on something and too obtuse on something else; too soft to be taken advantage of or too tough to be frightening. Anyway, growing up in a narcissistic family has made it very difficult for me to understand the boundary issues. Also how to manage time and how to make good decisions. They are all uneasy questions and have no easy answers in my life. LOL. It is like a life time learning just try to be a little bit better one step at a time.
True, setting boundaries is so complicated and quite difficult. Even after years of trying, I’m still not very good at it. Better than before but not great.
Those are some good tips that you gave yourself. And it’s true, as a teenager we all thought we knew everything and the adult didn’t. As for me, I would tell my teenager self to be who you want to be but be respectful. Feel good about who you are and don’t feel that you need to please everyone. Love yourself and live a life without expectations.
That’s really great advice to give yourself. I wish I had been myself more as a teen too.
Make career choices based on your conviction and values, not likely remuneration and rewards – one message I usually incorporate when speaking to groups of young people.
That’s excellent advice for teenagers. Wish some had told me that.
Make business or job will kill your ideas and perspectives
Yeah I think a lot of people hate working for others.
I completely agree with the advice you’d give your teenage self and I feel like mine would be pretty much the same ahah! I would also tell myself to “think” a bit but apparently it’s normal to make dumb decisions when you’re a teenager because your brain is not fully formed yet… I guess I can use this as an excuse for my stupid choices back then ahah!
Thanks and I think many teens experience similar stuff so our advice is similar. Haha yes we were all making dumb decisions as teens!
I think people don’t emphasize with teens enough about setting boundaries, but also being kind about it. I really struggled because I never learned it. I hated every minute of my teen years and I wonder how much better it would have been if I had learned boundaries
I feel the same way, I wish I had know how to make boundaries back then.
Soo good!
Thanks!
I want to talk to know more about you
Feel free to check out my about page: https://lifesfinewhine.ca/2015/07/20/about-lifesfinewhine/
By talking with you
By talk with you I know about you more clearly and deeply
I like your blog much
Powerful write-up which should not be overlooked
Thank you so much.
Great Words…
Thank you so much.
The part about boundaries resonates particularly. Especially when it comes to taking ownership of others feelings or choices.
Thank you, that is exactly what I meant because I had a difficult time not blaming myself for things others did.
What would you advise your younger self on relationships
I think I would say “they don’t matter as much as you think they do, don’t settle for someone you don’t actually like.”
Great post
Also here is my advice to my teenage self
You don’t have to be perfect
Study in school to gain knowledge not only marks
It’s okay if you are not the coolest because when you will become adult you will realize how useless it was
Learn how to cook(atleast the basics)
Learn Coding
Read books on finance
Learn as much skills as you can
Love your parents
Thanks and I really like the advice you shared too.
I am still technically a teenager but I would tell my younger self to slow down and just be happy. She’s never going to reach a place where everything is perfect and all the stars are aligned and she has no problems. She should enjoy her life now instead of romanticizing it when she looks back.
That’s good advice and I guess at least now you can do just that. I think that’s something I wish I could tell my teenage self too.
I would tell my younger self to follow my Grandpa Joe’s advice and become an actuary or an attorney.
Interesting advice.
Beautiful and honest
Thank you so much.
Pooja, this was very thorough and clearly stated. If “all time is now” I’m sure your Teenage Self heard every word and appreciated it! From my perspective trying to navigate my sixties as an Outrageous Older Woman, the advice I would give my own inner teen is to FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. It sounds so cliche and of course when young you believe you will, and that you have all the time in the world. Well, I didn’t do it, and now I have less time left to get on with it! In youth and midlife I got very sidetracked with my own depression and anxiety but especially codependency–taking care of others. Some of it was a moral choice: I wasn’t going to abandon my special-needs daughter or my stroke-ridden husband. But a lot of it was and still is a mind-set, that somehow if only others will change or be happy, then I can be free, safe, and let loose to manifest those dreams into reality. Retired, I have so many more hours in a day now to contemplate my personal-spiritual growth and I can’t believe what a struggle it still is to be the real me. So…I wish I could access some of that teen gal’s verve and courage, her heart for the world and optimism for the future. I’ll keep trying. Bravo to you for answering this prompt, these are brave words we are all sharing!
Thank you so much. I do understand what you mean to an extent because I feel as though I have abandoned a few dreams as I grew up. I wish I had the courage of teenage me too. Thank you again for the comment and for sharing your story.
Why does it look like I wrote it? Hahaha. Kidding aside, this is pretty much what I like to tell my teenage self too.
Haha thanks!
Good question!
First I would tell myself to stop trying to prove anything to anyone. I too was a people pleaser in high school and was constantly trying to prove I belonged or was good enough. I would reassure myself of my worth and to not let anyone diminish my bright light. Also, speak up and don’t let people take advantage of you. Lastly, I would remind myself of the dangers of bad association. The girls I hung out with did nothing but get me in trouble. My mom used to read a scripture that spoke about that at Proverbs 13:20 “The one walking with the wise will become wise, But the one who has dealings with the stupid will fare badly.”
That’s still good advice today!
Thanks! Yeah, I was that way too and wish I had been more independent with proper boundaries.
Very good advice shared.
Thank you so much.
Interesting…I wrote about something similar on what I wish someone told me in my teenage years and I resonate with them. https://www.teensmentor.com/teen-life/i-wish-someone-told-me/
That’s really interesting. I’ll check it out.
Oh. I finally found you! I wanted to thank you for posting the first like on my blog. So thank you for posting the first like on my blog!
I like you would have set boundaries. It spilled into most of my adult life as well. I chose the wrong people to hang with and let them take advantage of me. Now that my life is nearing a close, I’m left alone with only regrets. Sorry. I wish I had something more upbeat to say. That’s another thing. I’m too honest.
Great post! Lots of valuable advice here.
You’re totally welcome and thank you for looking for my blog too!
It’s not upbeat but it’s your experience in life and I appreciate you sharing it. I think I’m still a bit of a pushover but have gotten better at it.
Thanks!