Winning Over Shame: A Book About Resolving Shame

I’m Debi Adams. Thank you for allowing me to share my story with your blog. I must say, I really enjoy your posts. You are so engaging, and so much fun. I want to let your readers know about my book, which is being released on Saturday, March 18th on Amazon. The title is “Winning Over Shame- Overcoming sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse.”.

It is a heavy topic, with a hopeful and useful ending.

Abuse and Consequences

The book traces the origins and ramifications of my abuse. It begins very early, when I found my father in the bathtub during a botched suicide attempt. This was in close proximity to finding our family puppies dead from eating glass because someone left the door unlatched. Between them, I came to believe I was “wrong” and shouldn’t be.

If we fast forward to when I was 9, my father abducted my younger sister and me from our mother’s custody. It was a dark and frightening time. Much of my shame originated during that 6-month period.

When I was in my early 20’s I met my now ex-husband in a psychiatric ward. We were together for 12 years. Over that time, the marriage grew to mirror my early life. This included having an open marriage.

When I was finally out of the marriage, I began to search for meaning and purpose in my life. I tried several jobs, all of which ended badly.

Once again, I faced that black feeling of being “wrong” and I that I should not be. Once again, I ended up in psychiatric care. What started as an attempt to prove there was no hope for me turned into the beginning of my healing.

Healing, Skills, and Tools

Some of the key tools I had were a stable therapist and a truly outstanding support group. Between them, I learned the beginnings of trust. I found many people carried this shame inside of themselves; a shame that properly belonged to their abusers.

I was given, and developed, many skills that allowed me to heal. My past no longer crippled me. I did not simply learn to live with my broken parts. Instead, I healed and became whole.

The climax of the book shows me finally capable of being happy. Though initially the feeling was frightening, I found a way to embrace and enjoy the feeling. Knowing that feelings, good and bad, pass.

One skill I developed was a coping box. A physical tool, prepared before overwhelming emotions. The box includes items that engage all the senses. Items that work when you need to ground yourself and items that work when you need to lift yourself up from your emotions.

Get a Copy of the Book

I hope that this resonates with some of your audience. If they would like to read the book, they can download it from Amazon for $.99 starting on the 18th . I don’t know how when that price will go up. If they prefer paperback to an eBook, They can use this link to purchase it:

If they are interested, but not sure whether the book is for them, I invite them to find the downloadable coping box kit. It includes two mini posters, perfect to remind them of the options available.

After all, I know when I am in emotional overwhelm, I can’t remember all the choices available to me. Also, there are instructions and suggestions for what to include in their box. They can download the coping box at:

Thank you again for allowing me to share with your audience. I believe this book can help professionals and lay people to better understand shame and the ramifications that reverberate throughout a person’s life.

If they have experienced abuse in their childhood or in a romantic relationship, I truly believe this book can help them.

As you have guessed by now, this is a guest post written by a fellow blogger Debi Adams. She is one of the wonderful people I have met thanks to blogging and her story of survival and winning over shame is truly amazing. I really hope that all my readers will support her and her upcoming book. It would mean a lot to me if you did.

For more guest posts please click here.

To read more posts about mental health related topics please click here.

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74 responses to “Winning Over Shame: A Book About Resolving Shame”

  1. Wow, that’s amazing she got out of that and is cognizant and working on a better life. I hope the book does well.

    1. I hope so too 🙂

    2. Hello all. Sorry for the short notice. In just a few minutes, at 4vet, I am going to be on the blog “book talk live”. If you have time to join it would be great to see you there.

      Debi Adams

  2. Amazing story. Congratulations on her book. Thanks for sharing. I hope it is successful.

    1. Happy to share her story.

    2. Thanks Shaunelius. Thank you. I really hope it’s successful, too. When you’ve been so low and climbed so high, meaning and purpose become so important. If I am successful I will be in a position to help more.

      1. That’s absolutely wonderful. I am glad you were able to write about your journey. Life can be tough, but through it all we grow stronger and wiser so we can help others. I wrote my first book last year about my life called: My Life: From the Back Burner under my pen name LA’BREA AQUARIA. You can find it on in paperback, and on Kindle. God is good. I never thought it would happen, but it did. I am now writing my second book, My Life: Moving Forward. Hopefully I will have it finished by the end of this year. I will be praying for you and your book. I enjoyed reading what you shared, it really touched my heart.

  3. What a touching story! I’m so glad she found support and healing 💓 will look out for it

    1. I’m very happy for her journey towards healing too.

    2. Hi Rochelle. It was launched today. You should be able to find the ebook on Amazon. I know I am tremendously blessed. I recognize that far too many people with extremely traumatic stories never break through to loving themselves. Far too few people are happy with/in their lives
      It is honestly heartbreaking. If I can alleviate some of that, I will be content.

      1. It truly is heartbreaking! Thanks for letting me know!!!

      2. You can get the book here. I hope it is enlightening for you.

  4. The book sounds interesting.

    1. I’m sure it is.

  5. Thanks for sharing it Debi
    And congratulations for the book.

    The language of this blog was very smooth and I guess that book is written in a similar manner.

    Yes the topic is definitely heavy.

    I will look out for the book. I love paperback, need to see if it’s available in my country.

    Best wishes, keep smiling

    1. It’s on Amazon so feel free to check there.

      1. Need to see if it’s available on indian site as well 🙂

    2. Thank you for your kind words.its always a pleasure to hear how I come across to others. It should be available through Amazon local to you.
      I would be pleased if you would give it an honest review, after you have finished it

      1. Thanks
        I’ll check it out.
        Best wishes 🙂🌟

  6. A specific quote comes to mind by Kahlil Gibran…

    ” Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
    Thank you for sharing your journey.

    All the best on your book 🤍

    1. That’s a beautiful and appropriate quote. Thanks for sharing it.

      1. Most welcome 🤍

    2. I love the quote. Challenges are stepping stones to success. Thick skin is built during crisis 🙂

      1. Chris, I like those. I certainly can’t disagree. I hope my skin is so think the negatives I am bound to encounter don’t settle in. I am unaccustomed to putting myself out there this way. It’s a whole other world 🙏

    3. Thank you Destiny. It is so helpful, seeing what people relate to and pull out of my story. I do hope it does well. I look forward to the next chapter of my life story, serving and helping others

      1. you are most welcome Debi🤍
        Best wishes to you✨

  7. Thank you for the post, Debi. Since it is such a good price, I just bought one for myself. You know me, I can’t resist a discount and I really like books about psychological issues. Growing up in a narcissistic family, I had a big dose of shame on almost everything I did. My parents didn’t want to care for a kid and they tried to use shame to get out of all parental responsibilities. My mother especially was half mad and had unacknowledged personality disorders in my opinion. And it is true that victims of abuse often leave a bad relationship and then jump into a similar bad relationship. It is a very bad cycle.

    1. Hi Haoyando. Thank you for your kind words. I hope the book gives you something meaningful. I’d love it if you would write an honest review after you’ve finished it
      Shame can be so evil. I remember my favorite analogy; I felt the way I imagine a person who had to canabalise their friends or family to survive must have felt. Perhaps, when you have read the book, you can see why I felt that . Best of everything to you

      1. Hmm, I think I will. I bought a kindle copy of it and I think I will go download it right now.

        1. Haoyando,
          I hope you are doing well
          Were you able to finish the book? I’d enjoy hearing your feedback. I’d also appreciate a review on Amazon. Love it, hate it, couldn’t finish it, all help someone decide whether to buy it
          Best wishes


          1. Hi, Debi, sorry, I haven’t got to it yet. I enjoy the first several pages I read and it is very emotionally charged.

            1. That’s fine. Hopefully you will get to it this summer 🙂

  8. Congrats for the book🎉
    Thanks to Debi for sharing this!

  9. Congratulations on the book Debi!
    Thanks for sharing your story. Reading this had a sense of catharsis.

    1. Iamhardlk, I’m glad I made you feel so something. That is high praise for an author.
      The story can be brutal at times. I believe I was able to talk about extreme things without overwhelming my audience.
      Perhaps the book is a good fit for you?

      1. Hey Debi,

        The book is indeed a good fit for me. It got me thinking about myself and forced me to examine a few events of my own and acknowledge them.

        1. Iamvhardik, that is just what I was trying to create; a place that stimulates change without provoking trauma.
          If you have the book there are coping mechanisms at the back of the story. I particularly like the coping box for generalized emotional regulation.
          All the best to you!

        2. Iamhardik, If you have finished the book, I would very much appreciate you taking the time to leave an Amazon review. Reviews are so important. People want to know what to expect, what they are getting themselves into. 😊

  10. Congratulations to a great piece as this. I hope and believe in my heart that this grows very well into something well yearned by many in the society

    1. Thank you, CLINTWISE. That is my hope and belief, too. I reached number one status in 12 Amazon subcategories today since the launch. At .99 I hope many others will take a chance on the book
      It’s not magic. Healing takes a lot of courage and strength. But it is possible.

  11. I’m sure a lot of people would find this very pertinent.

  12. Congrats on the publication, Debi! Such a powerful story, I’m happy she got the support and help she needed. And it’ll definitely be of help to so many others out there.

    1. Adeswaoyewo. Thank you for your kind words. It is my honest belief that, although i write to a narrower subset of people traumatized, the lessons I learned are pertinent to any sort of shame
      It is so sad to me that, when I start sharing my story with people, more often than not I have them sharing their personal shame I know the information I have can help. I just need to keep getting my story out there.

  13. I’m glad that in the end this is a success story. Congrats on the book, I’ll check it out.

    1. Thank you, Janice. If what you want us only the ebook, it is ,99. I’m not sure for how long. I’d love it if you would write an honest review after you read it.

      1. I opted for the paperback. I will give a review once I’m done.

        1. Thank you, Janice. I hope it inspires you in some small way

        2. Hello again, Janice Reed. I hope you were able to finish the book. I am hoping you’d be willing to post a review on Amazon.


          1. Debi, I’m so sorry. I got so busy with the tax season and afterwards I got distracted. I promise I will finish up by next week and I’ll write a review. So sorry for the delay but the book has been good so far.

            1. Thank you! And I’m glad you like it so far. The end is worth it.

  14. Congratulations to Debi on the book, and thank you for sharing your story. I admire those who share their experiences of trauma, perseverance and healing. It’s a courageous move that encourages others to find their way on their own healing journeys. And thanks to Pooja for hosting this guest post.

    1. Happy to share her story with everyone here.

  15. Wow. Thank you for that mind-blowing post! I’m so glad more and more people are speaking up and helping others too

    1. Debi here. Thank you for your kind words. My launch went really well. I believe it will bless a kit of people. I just need to find them🤞

  16. […] Winning Over Shame: A Unique Book About Resolving Shame Due To Abuse […]

  17. Thank you for sharing your story Debi!!! Your book is one that I will be reading.

    1. Hello Belladonna. I hope that you were able to read the book. I’d be interested to hear your take on it. I would appreciate it if you’d leave a review on Amazon, as well

      Best wishes


  18. Pooja and everyone else who reads this thread.
    I appreciate your interest and conversation.
    The ebook price has been raised to 9.99..
    If you prefer paperback, I ask that you consider ordering it directly from me at the link in my post. You will have to pay for shipping, but it would be ever so helpful to me. Either from me or on Amazon, I hope you find value in the book and would give an honest review.


  19. Congratulations Debi for overcoming your issues, finding solutions and being willing to share them with more people!👏👏

    1. Thanks Pooja for allowing guest blog posts. It must be very helpful to the new bloggers, I guess.

      1. It’s my pleasure.

  20. That was a great post. The book can help many individuals who have gone through the same or similar experiences. Happy that Debi is happy and can now enjoy life.

    1. Yes, she’s been through a lot and I think her experiences can truly help others.

  21. I’m a little “late to the party” but want to say I appreciate Debi sharing and writing about her experiences in overcoming shame. And thank you, Pooja, for giving her the opportunity!

    Shame – as well learning to recognize it and step out of it – has been a big part of my story as well. One of the best writers I’ve encountered for this is Dr. Curt Thompson. His book, The Soul of Shame, was transformative for me! He also hosts a podcast called Being Known that is great!

    I’ve been ruthlessly endeavoring to remove just one word from my vocabulary, as it is almost always shame-laced. The word is “should”.

    Coming up with different ways to say things, without that word, keeps me thinking more creatively, too. Which, in turn, keeps me processing thoughts and experiences more intuitively rather than cognitively. So it’s a win-win!

    1. I’m happy to share her post and journey with everyone here. I’m glad you could relate to parts of her journey. It’s interesting how cutting out one word can change the way we see and think of things so much!

  22. Hi again. Did you start reading the book? I hope you like it. I would appreciate an Amazon when you are done

    1. Hey, I’m almost done with it and will definitely leave a review as soon as I am. Hope everything is well with you.

      1. Everything is great. I’m working to promote the book. I’m also developing a program that will expand upon the skills and tools I mention in the book. It will be 7 weeks long. If you, or anyone you know, is still struggling under the weight of abuse, I invite you to find out more

        1. That’s really great and will definitely mention it to people I think may benefit from it.

          1. You are a dear. Thank you. Ill be starting some programs based on the skills and tools I learned, plus others I’ve developed in the next month or two. First I need to get my shoulder replaced

            1. You’re very welcome and hope everything goes well with your shoulder.

              1. I appreciate that. Life has been full of running around. Seeing doctors, prepping to only have one arm for a few months.
                Did you get a chance to get my book?
                I can’t wait to hear from Amazon. To know how many books have sold.
                Best to you and all your wonderful followers

      2. Hi. I hope you are well. The shoulder has been drama. They did the wrong type of shoulder replacement. It failed after 3 weeks, and they had to do the other type. I am finally starting to feel good again
        Pooja K., I hope you were able to finish the book. I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you would be willing to leave a review on Amazon it would be so helpful. People are more likely to read a book with reviews
        I hope you are well.
        Greeting to all your followers


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