Winning Over Shame: A Unique Book About Resolving Shame Due To Abuse

I’m Debi Adams. Thank you for allowing me to share my story with your blog. I must say, I really enjoy your posts. You are so engaging, and so much fun. I want to let your readers know about my book, which is being released on Saturday, March 18th on Amazon. The title is “Winning Over Shame- Overcoming sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse.”.

It is a heavy topic, with a hopeful and useful ending.

Abuse and Consequences

The book traces the origins and ramifications of my abuse. It begins very early, when I found my father in the bathtub during a botched suicide attempt. This was in close proximity to finding our family puppies dead from eating glass because someone left the door unlatched. Between them, I came to believe I was “wrong” and shouldn’t be.

If we fast forward to when I was 9, my father abducted my younger sister and me from our mother’s custody. It was a dark and frightening time. Much of my shame originated during that 6-month period.

When I was in my early 20’s I met my now ex-husband in a psychiatric ward. We were together for 12 years. Over that time, the marriage grew to mirror my early life. This included having an open marriage.

When I was finally out of the marriage, I began to search for meaning and purpose in my life. I tried several jobs, all of which ended badly.

Once again, I faced that black feeling of being “wrong” and I that I should not be. Once again, I ended up in psychiatric care. What started as an attempt to prove there was no hope for me turned into the beginning of my healing.

Healing, Skills, and Tools

Some of the key tools I had were a stable therapist and a truly outstanding support group. Between them, I learned the beginnings of trust. I found many people carried this shame inside of themselves; a shame that properly belonged to their abusers.

I was given, and developed, many skills that allowed me to heal. My past no longer crippled me. I did not simply learn to live with my broken parts. Instead, I healed and became whole.

The climax of the book shows me finally capable of being happy. Though initially the feeling was frightening, I found a way to embrace and enjoy the feeling. Knowing that feelings, good and bad, pass.

One skill I developed was a coping box. A physical tool, prepared before overwhelming emotions. The box includes items that engage all the senses. Items that work when you need to ground yourself and items that work when you need to lift yourself up from your emotions.

Get a Copy of the Book

I hope that this resonates with some of your audience. If they would like to read the book, they can download it from Amazon for $.99 starting on the 18th . I don’t know how when that price will go up. If they prefer paperback to an eBook, They can use this link to purchase it:

If they are interested, but not sure whether the book is for them, I invite them to find the downloadable coping box kit. It includes two mini posters, perfect to remind them of the options available.

After all, I know when I am in emotional overwhelm, I can’t remember all the choices available to me. Also, there are instructions and suggestions for what to include in their box. They can download the coping box at:

Thank you again for allowing me to share with your audience. I believe this book can help professionals and lay people to better understand shame and the ramifications that reverberate throughout a person’s life.

If they have experienced abuse in their childhood or in a romantic relationship, I truly believe this book can help them.

As you have guessed by now, this is a guest post written by a fellow blogger Debi Adams. She is one of the wonderful people I have met thanks to blogging and her story of survival and winning over shame is truly amazing. I really hope that all my readers will support her and her upcoming book. It would mean a lot to me if you did.

For more guest posts please click here.

To read more posts about mental health related topics please click here.

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55 thoughts on “Winning Over Shame: A Unique Book About Resolving Shame Due To Abuse

    1. Hello all. Sorry for the short notice. In just a few minutes, at 4vet, I am going to be on the blog “book talk live”. If you have time to join it would be great to see you there.

      Debi Adams

    1. Thanks Shaunelius. Thank you. I really hope it’s successful, too. When you’ve been so low and climbed so high, meaning and purpose become so important. If I am successful I will be in a position to help more.

      1. That’s absolutely wonderful. I am glad you were able to write about your journey. Life can be tough, but through it all we grow stronger and wiser so we can help others. I wrote my first book last year about my life called: My Life: From the Back Burner under my pen name LA’BREA AQUARIA. You can find it on in paperback, and on Kindle. God is good. I never thought it would happen, but it did. I am now writing my second book, My Life: Moving Forward. Hopefully I will have it finished by the end of this year. I will be praying for you and your book. I enjoyed reading what you shared, it really touched my heart.

    1. Hi Rochelle. It was launched today. You should be able to find the ebook on Amazon. I know I am tremendously blessed. I recognize that far too many people with extremely traumatic stories never break through to loving themselves. Far too few people are happy with/in their lives
      It is honestly heartbreaking. If I can alleviate some of that, I will be content.

  1. Thanks for sharing it Debi
    And congratulations for the book.

    The language of this blog was very smooth and I guess that book is written in a similar manner.

    Yes the topic is definitely heavy.

    I will look out for the book. I love paperback, need to see if it’s available in my country.

    Best wishes, keep smiling

    1. Thank you for your kind words.its always a pleasure to hear how I come across to others. It should be available through Amazon local to you.
      I would be pleased if you would give it an honest review, after you have finished it

  2. A specific quote comes to mind by Kahlil Gibran…

    ” Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
    Thank you for sharing your journey.

    All the best on your book 🤍

      1. Chris, I like those. I certainly can’t disagree. I hope my skin is so think the negatives I am bound to encounter don’t settle in. I am unaccustomed to putting myself out there this way. It’s a whole other world 🙏

    1. Thank you Destiny. It is so helpful, seeing what people relate to and pull out of my story. I do hope it does well. I look forward to the next chapter of my life story, serving and helping others

  3. Thank you for the post, Debi. Since it is such a good price, I just bought one for myself. You know me, I can’t resist a discount and I really like books about psychological issues. Growing up in a narcissistic family, I had a big dose of shame on almost everything I did. My parents didn’t want to care for a kid and they tried to use shame to get out of all parental responsibilities. My mother especially was half mad and had unacknowledged personality disorders in my opinion. And it is true that victims of abuse often leave a bad relationship and then jump into a similar bad relationship. It is a very bad cycle.

    1. Hi Haoyando. Thank you for your kind words. I hope the book gives you something meaningful. I’d love it if you would write an honest review after you’ve finished it
      Shame can be so evil. I remember my favorite analogy; I felt the way I imagine a person who had to canabalise their friends or family to survive must have felt. Perhaps, when you have read the book, you can see why I felt that . Best of everything to you

  4. Congratulations on the book Debi!
    Thanks for sharing your story. Reading this had a sense of catharsis.

    1. Iamhardlk, I’m glad I made you feel so something. That is high praise for an author.
      The story can be brutal at times. I believe I was able to talk about extreme things without overwhelming my audience.
      Perhaps the book is a good fit for you?

      1. Hey Debi,

        The book is indeed a good fit for me. It got me thinking about myself and forced me to examine a few events of my own and acknowledge them.

        1. Iamvhardik, that is just what I was trying to create; a place that stimulates change without provoking trauma.
          If you have the book there are coping mechanisms at the back of the story. I particularly like the coping box for generalized emotional regulation.
          All the best to you!

  5. Congratulations to a great piece as this. I hope and believe in my heart that this grows very well into something well yearned by many in the society

    1. Thank you, CLINTWISE. That is my hope and belief, too. I reached number one status in 12 Amazon subcategories today since the launch. At .99 I hope many others will take a chance on the book
      It’s not magic. Healing takes a lot of courage and strength. But it is possible.

  6. Congrats on the publication, Debi! Such a powerful story, I’m happy she got the support and help she needed. And it’ll definitely be of help to so many others out there.

    1. Adeswaoyewo. Thank you for your kind words. It is my honest belief that, although i write to a narrower subset of people traumatized, the lessons I learned are pertinent to any sort of shame
      It is so sad to me that, when I start sharing my story with people, more often than not I have them sharing their personal shame I know the information I have can help. I just need to keep getting my story out there.

    1. Thank you, Janice. If what you want us only the ebook, it is ,99. I’m not sure for how long. I’d love it if you would write an honest review after you read it.

  7. Congratulations to Debi on the book, and thank you for sharing your story. I admire those who share their experiences of trauma, perseverance and healing. It’s a courageous move that encourages others to find their way on their own healing journeys. And thanks to Pooja for hosting this guest post.

    1. Debi here. Thank you for your kind words. My launch went really well. I believe it will bless a kit of people. I just need to find them🤞

  8. Pooja and everyone else who reads this thread.
    I appreciate your interest and conversation.
    The ebook price has been raised to 9.99..
    If you prefer paperback, I ask that you consider ordering it directly from me at the link in my post. You will have to pay for shipping, but it would be ever so helpful to me. Either from me or on Amazon, I hope you find value in the book and would give an honest review.


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