Lifesfinewhine

The Life & Ramblings Of A Zillennial

Six Word Story #196

One Sentence Story

Six Word Story:

Forgiving today, manifesting a better tomorrow.

About The Six Word Story:

I am not a believer in forgive and forget. I know that many people are but I am not. For the most part, I try to be forgiving. If someone does something that I think is forgivable I will forgive and move on. Perhaps not forget but I will forgive. However, I think some things are unforgivable. Even if you let it go and move on, I don’t think it’s necessary to forgive everything. Some people mess up so badly that they don’t deserve your forgiveness and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with not forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve your forgiveness as long as you don’t let that grudge disrupt your happiness.

Talking of grudges, I am someone who holds grudges. I literally have grudges I have held on to since I was a baby. And I wish I could say I was displaying my infamous sense of humour with that sentence but I wasn’t. I hold on to grudges like I’m falling off a cliff and holding on for dear life. And that’s not healthy. Certain things needed to leave my mind and there are things I need to get over for my own sanity. Which is what this six word story is about. I am working on letting go of some past stuff and trying to focus on the present so that I can have the best possible future.

Do you hold grudges? Or do you let go? Let me know in the comments below because I would love to hear from you. Or simply stop by and say hi!

For more six word stories please click here.

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Posted by:

P. J. Gudka

140 responses to “Six Word Story #196”

  1. John Avatar
    John

    I hope you let go of your grudges and learn to forgive others, Pooja, not doing so only harms yourself. ❤️

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, trying my best ❤️

      Reply
  2. Steve Avatar
    Steve

    It can be hard to let go of grudges though, really, they most harm the holder. Doesn’t mean one has to forget what happened; it takes work but is worth it, in my opinion. Good six-word story.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      True, it’s quite difficult but also worth it in the long run. Thanks so much.

      Reply
      1. Steve Avatar
        Steve

        Indeed! You’re welcome.

        Reply
  3. Rochdalestu Avatar
    Rochdalestu

    Tomorrow never comes, reality is now!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, it’s best to live in the present!

      Reply
      1. Rochdalestu Avatar
        Rochdalestu

        It’s not best, it’s all you can ever live in. The past has gone and the future hasn’t happened. The present moment is all that exists.

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          I think focusing on the present is the best we can do because focusing on the future or past all the time can be damaging. Like focusing on the present isn’t always fun but it’s best case scenario.

          Reply
          1. Rochdalestu Avatar
            Rochdalestu

            There’s no right or wrong answer is there really. Just do whatever feels right and enjoy yourself 🤗👌

            Reply
            1. Pooja G Avatar
              Pooja G

              Yes, I think that’s the best way to live life- do what feels right to you 😊

              Reply
  4. 100 Country Trek Avatar
    100 Country Trek

    Thanks for sharing this idea. Anita

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      My pleasure and thanks for commenting.

      Reply
  5. atarigen72 Avatar
    atarigen72

    Okay I have to give you a movie quote here because it’s the first thing that popped into my head. “I say forget forgive and just accept and get the hell out of town” Also, I feel some deja vu I feel like we have discussed this movie before Pooj.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That movie came out literally the month and year I was born. Coincidence? I think not lol.

      Reply
      1. atarigen72 Avatar
        atarigen72

        That movie is one of my faves Grosse pointe blank. Along with other John Cusack movies. You were born in 97? So it’s safe to say you didn’t watch it in theatres. Yes, I am in the U.S. despite my spelling of theatre.

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Yes, unfortunately I didn’t watch it in the theatres since I wasn’t alive till like the 20th lol and this came out earlier than that. Why don’t you spell it the American way? Do you spell other words the American way like gray instead of grey?

          Reply
          1. atarigen72 Avatar
            atarigen72

            The American spelling just looks weird to me. I don’t know how I saw the re spelling first

            Reply
  6. Milena Alien Avatar
    Milena Alien

    I try not to hold grudges for my own sake, I am learning to just let it go. My life is way more important than holding those precious grudges, dusting them, making them sparkle again and look brand new.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I’m trying to do that too but as a professional grudge holder for many years it’s pretty difficult.

      Reply
      1. Milena Alien Avatar
        Milena Alien

        haha

        Reply
  7. sharonsiconictravelphotographyblog Avatar
    sharonsiconictravelphotographyblog

    You can forgive, but that does not mean you have to trust the person. Holding onto grudges can lead to health issues like ulcers. Not worth it.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, I always think it’s best not to forget even when you forgive.

      Reply
  8. anishozawrites Avatar
    anishozawrites

    One can forgive easily but the real pain is forgetting the memories…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I think some things we never really forget.

      Reply
      1. anishozawrites Avatar
        anishozawrites

        True that…

        Reply
  9. Geoff Stamper Avatar
    Geoff Stamper

    My grudges were all wasted time.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, I totally agree.

      Reply
  10. Belladonna Avatar
    Belladonna

    Nope I’ll never forget! I never want to forget when someone does me wrong. However, I will forgive and move on.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Exactly, I think it’s a good idea to remember and be cautious even when you forgive.

      Reply
      1. Belladonna Avatar
        Belladonna

        YES!!!!!!

        Reply
  11. Vidah Avatar
    Vidah

    Forgiving doesn’t mean trusting again!

    I don’t hold grudges against anyone🤷

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I completely agree, always be cautious even when you forgive!

      Reply
  12. Chris Avatar
    Chris

    If what the person has done is that bad that I think I will hold a grudge, I let the person go out of my life. So in general I don’t hold grudges.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I think that’s fair, I’m generally very selective about grudges these days too. There are a few things I find unforgivable and most things I’m ready to let go off.

      Reply
  13. Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/ Avatar
    Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/

    I’m glad you’re working on releasing your grudges, for they hold so much real estate space in our minds, long after the person themselves has forgotten what they did.

    Forgiveness works both ways. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves. Sometimes we need to release the what-ifs and the “I should have/I could have” thoughts.

    By giving ourselves grace to just have reacted the way we do at times, helps us to give others grace.

    Grace is a gentler term, because forgive is often tied to forget in our minds, and we really shouldn’t forget how a person is if they haven’t changed. That’s just self preservation!

    Kudos to your inner work!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. That’s exactly it. I don’t want people like that living in my head rent free. I deserve better. We all do.

      Yes, I have a had time with the what-ifs too. I always find it difficult to let go of those since I can be quite a perfectionist.

      Grace is a more fitting term sometimes, definitely agree with that.

      Reply
      1. Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/ Avatar
        Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/

        Good for you! This is good news!

        Reply
  14. Alex Diaz-Granados Avatar
    Alex Diaz-Granados

    Hi, Pooja!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Hi!

      Reply
      1. Alex Diaz-Granados Avatar
        Alex Diaz-Granados

        I hope your day has gone well; mine is still starting. (Time differences sure skew perspectives!)

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Yes, it’s gone quite well, how’s yours going so far?

          Reply
          1. Alex Diaz-Granados Avatar
            Alex Diaz-Granados

            It’s been productive. I am about to post my last post of OpenAI renditions of scenes from Reunion. Hey…it got someone on Facebook to buy the real deal!

            Reply
            1. Pooja G Avatar
              Pooja G

              Oh hey, that’s awesome! It’s a good advertising tactic haha.

              Reply
              1. Alex Diaz-Granados Avatar
                Alex Diaz-Granados

                The final one is up. I chose to wrap up the series of reimagined scenes with one in the (horror-free, mind!) style of Stephen King. And it does sound as though he wrote it…..

                Reply
                1. Pooja G Avatar
                  Pooja G

                  Oh nice, that one I have to see because I have a love-hate relationship with Stephen King’s writing and want to see how this turned out.

                  Reply
                  1. Alex Diaz-Granados Avatar
                    Alex Diaz-Granados

                    It came out nice, I think! (And I told the AI, “No horror elements!”)

                    Reply
                    1. Pooja G Avatar
                      Pooja G

                      Oh nice!

  15. Feets Avatar
    Feets

    I hold grudges, anger, and a lot of resentment towards plenty of people, even if I don’t know them and even if I forgive them, I’m aware they’ll hurt me again. My parents raised me like that and I’m not going to change any time soon.

    However, just because I’m angry and don’t forget things, doesn’t mean I’ll treat someone badly. I’ll still be nice and kind. I just am hypervigilant waiting to see if someone will try to hurt me again.

    It’s not healthy, I do work on it, but it’s very hard. Especially when people upset me and if I mention it, they get mad at me.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, it’s how I grew up too so I understand. I’m trying to change but it’s not easy. I always remain polite too but like you I stay cautious because they have lost my trust.

      Reply
    2. Hilary Tan Avatar
      Hilary Tan

      This hit hard for me, Feets. I appreciate your honesty here and that you hold grudges too. I’m a grudge holder as well and was raised like this as well. It’s hard to break the pattern.

      Perhaps this is just me or maybe you and Pooja can relate to this: I don’t trust ppl who hurt me and become avoidant of future friendships/relationships during the healing process. It’s only after I’ve gone through that when I have the energy to build new friendships/relationships.

      Reply
      1. Feets Avatar
        Feets

        I definitely can.

        I remember when I got bullied in fifth and sixth grade, by the time seventh grade hit I was intolerant to outsiders. I didn’t really trust others unless they were in my class group/orchestra group (which was full of a lot of fake people). After a while, a while I struggled with having friendships and relationships. I’ve never had a relationship, but my friendships are all very similar where someone starts of interesting but can’t talk about their emotions and doesn’t really talk to me after a while and rather talk and hang out with others and call and chat other people because I’m hard to deal with.

        I struggle with relationships and I’m a bit too complex and broken to be a meaningful relationship with someone and I don’t really want friends in my life. Life currently has made me feel like I deserve nothing and I need to work on being less needy and opening up to easily.

        Overall, I don’t trust people who hurt me and I’m very avoidant towards meaningful relationships and I doubt I’m ever going to get over it.

        Reply
  16. Destiny Avatar
    Destiny

    we let go to free ourselves 😉

    I doubt it can be forgotten but moving past it saves us alot of energy.
    glad you working on it, Pooja🤍

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, very true. Thank you 😊

      Reply
      1. Destiny Avatar
        Destiny

        always a pleasure 🤍

        Reply
  17. Poet of the Light Avatar
    Poet of the Light

    I only pontificate my one truth.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I just learnt a new word.

      Reply
      1. Poet of the Light Avatar
        Poet of the Light

        My pleasure. 😏

        Reply
  18. Kevin Avatar
    Kevin

    Personally, I forgive. I don’t know how to hold on to grudges. I do confront people head-on once I notice a bad pattern and try to solve it out with them. But it’s hard to forget, and all I do is learn from it than form it to a grudge.
    Remember that you do not have to forgive someone who you feel does not deserve it (but I will recommend you to), but try to find a way to work through the emotions, like forgiving yourself for feeling hurt, without carrying the grudge itself.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I don’t confront people and I think that’s why I tend to hold grudges more. Because things feel unresolved.
      True, not everyone deserves our forgiveness but it’s best to forgive ourselves in those situations.

      Reply
      1. Kevin Avatar
        Kevin

        Try confronting people next time. Maybe it will offload some of that burden.

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Yeah, maybe I should be more open about things that are bothering me.

          Reply
  19. Shraddha Govekar Avatar
    Shraddha Govekar

    I try to forgive and forget but it is really difficult for me to let go of any grudges. But I understand it is important for your own peace of mind. So, I am learning and trying to let go all unnecessary things which are not serving me any good. I am trying this for myself 💛 Forgive and forget 😇

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I’m like that too and glad you’re also trying to let go of things more 😊

      Reply
  20. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar
    DEVANG UPADHYAYA

    I used to hold grudges

    And somehow I cannot forget easily.

    But in life we need to let go of some things for our own good. Because I feel those things eats from inside

    Take care buddy 😁

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, I agree. Holding grudges takes its toll. Thanks 😊

      Reply
      1. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar
        DEVANG UPADHYAYA

        You are smart woman

        I won’t give you any suggestions

        Do what’s right for you 🙂

        Reply
  21. Barb Taub Avatar
    Barb Taub

    Forgiving takes moments, forgetting takes forever.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      A very true six word story.

      Reply
  22. Shahbaz Ashraf Avatar
    Shahbaz Ashraf

    Forgiving & forgetting can be beneficial for letting go of negative emotions, maintaining healthy relationships, healing, self-growth, and having a positive attitude. However, forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting the situation entirely, it means moving on from the negative emotions associated with it. There is no point holding on to grudge when it does nothing except hurting us.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, I agree. However, personally I still find some things unforgivable. I’ve forgiven myself and moved on but I don’t forgive the other person involved and will not forget either.

      Reply
      1. Shahbaz Ashraf Avatar
        Shahbaz Ashraf

        Agreed. It is ok to have boundaries which make certain actions or behaviors unforgivable. The good thing is you choose to forgive yourself and move on.
        All said, forgiveness is a personal choice and we need to prefer our own well-being and healing process.

        Reply
  23. Ranjana Avatar
    Ranjana

    Confession: I often dream of becoming rich and people asking for forgiveness because they have been rude and mean to me. 🤪

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I do that too lol 😅

      Reply
  24. Doug Avatar
    Doug

    Plague, Reformation, and Revolutions make grudges.

    It is said that the Bubonic Plague, the high death rate of clergy who lived near cemeteries etc., the desperate hiring and training of incompetent clergy led to total loss in confidence and belief in religion which failed to protect the people, and led to the Protestant Reformation, the 30- years-war, the American revolution etc.

    I’m looking at synonyms for regret: remorse, contrition, repentance, shame… Generally, usually, there isn’t any of these, although often forced to say so (but not really mean). Mostly, people are sorry they got caught doing something wrong. Gee whiz, I’m sorry I killed your daughter but I needed the money when I robbed the bank, and she was a stupid bank teller who refused to cooperate. After I escape from prison, I’ll be more careful. Ooops, these things happen. I’ll say a prayer. OK?”

    A grudge by powerful people against evil can work to allow a new beginning. But for people who are not powerful, a grudge takes up too much time and doesn’t allow any time to do one’s best life’s work or passion. Anger and obsessive thoughts also take up time and are draining. Grudges are not practical for an average person who is not powerful enough to execute a grudge quickly.

    Reply
    1. Doug Avatar
      Doug

      Someone becomes a Lion. When they get hungry, they eat your friend. You speak to the Lion when it’s full, and forgive it. Next time it’s hungry it will eat you and apologize to your next of kin.

      Reply
      1. Pooja G Avatar
        Pooja G

        I get what you mean about grudges destroying us. However, I didn’t mean that I hold on to grudges to a point where it affects my life. Just that I refuse to forgive and forget some things and prefer to cut people out instead of forgiving them and moving on.

        Reply
  25. EWS Avatar
    EWS

    Guilty grudge holder over here. And if I do “forgive” sometimes I realize I truly haven’t and I hold a buried resentment for that person and start to treat them poorly. Completely relatable.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, it’s incredibly difficult to let go of grudges. And to treat people the same after they’ve broken your trust.

      Reply
  26. Hilary Tan Avatar
    Hilary Tan

    When someone does me wrong, I don’t forget. But I don’t want to just sit there and ruminate – I want to get even. It sounds petty but I’m a ruminator and will dwell on things FOR YEARS to the point where it’s an internal kind of suffering. Internal suffering is not worth it. It’s like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      True, internal suffering only makes you miserable not the person who hurt you. I hold on to grudges and don’t forgive but I also tend to move on. Like I’ll always dislike that person but won’t let their existence bother me.

      Reply
      1. Hilary Tan Avatar
        Hilary Tan

        Great words of advice, Pooja. I’m screenshoting this! 🙌

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Aww thanks! Every once in a while I accidentally say something wise 😅

          Reply
          1. Hilary Tan Avatar
            Hilary Tan

            I think you saw wise things a lot more often than “once in a while.” Your reply really resonated with me. I was like, aha that makes sense! Knowing me, I’ll probably forget within a day so screenshots help a lot with memory recall. 😅

            Reply
            1. Pooja G Avatar
              Pooja G

              Lol, I’m like that too and always screenshot or write things down. Thanks for saying that, it’s so sweet and I’m happy to know this resonated with you. It’s actually a middle ground my therapist and I found for me when it comes to grudges lol.

              Reply
  27. Cindy Georgakas Avatar
    Cindy Georgakas

    It’s so true that forgiving helps us and it’s easier said than done but freeing!!💕great post Pooja!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Absolutely, it’s difficult but for the best in the long run! Thanks! 😊

      Reply
      1. Cindy Georgakas Avatar
        Cindy Georgakas

        totally!!! 💗

        Reply
  28. Rita Avatar
    Rita

    I have been told many times that forgiveness is not for the other person – forgiveness is for you. What does this mean? Well, it means that if I hold on to what my psycho ex did, he will still be in my head, hurting me. I prefer to let God deal with him and try to move on. Does this mean that all the atrocities that he committed against me and the kiddos are ok? Absolutely not! However, I can choose not to forgive and let it eat a hole in me (not to mention the kids!) or I can turn it over to God and let Him, in all his infinite wisdom, deal with David. We tend to forget that we are all children of God, even if some have strayed badly from Him!

    Do yourself a favor and forgive. It truly is for you, so that you can move on and be healthy. Their issues are their own.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I definitely get that. I think what I meant to say when I said I don’t always forgive is that although I personally try to move on from that person I’m not one to let someone who hurt me back into my life. I refuse to forgive their betrayal and would rather cut them out. Depending on what they did of course. Some things deserve forgiveness.

      Reply
  29. Nicole Smith Avatar
    Nicole Smith

    I forgive but I do not forget.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I think that’s fair, some things can’t be forgotten.

      Reply
  30. LenoreDallas Avatar
    LenoreDallas

    I try not to hold grouse because I know I shouldn’t, but if I’m honest, I don’t think I’m very good at it!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Lol, that’s okay it’s tough letting go!

      Reply
      1. LenoreDallas Avatar
        LenoreDallas

        ha ha! error, error!lol

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Lol don’t worry I got what you meant!

          Reply
  31. utahan15 Avatar
    utahan15

    revenge cold
    dish is old

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Sometimes revenge is freeing…

      Reply
      1. utahan15 Avatar
        utahan15

        not very

        Reply
  32. vesnab7 Avatar
    vesnab7

    ‘Let it hurt, then let it go.’ I read this today on IG and felt like sharing it with you. Easier said than done, I know. Working on ourselves is a process, but anger doesn’t help. Take care 🌺

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s very good advice. True, it’s difficult but I think overall letting go of as much as you can is a good thing. Thanks! 💕

      Reply
  33. Mark Edward Jabbour Avatar
    Mark Edward Jabbour

    “Everything I’ve let go of has claw marks on it.” That’s from David Foster Wallace’s novel INFINITE JEST. Me? I’m pretty good at moving on and just ghosting people. Probably not the best way to go, either.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I ghost people too because I’m non-confrontational. I don’t forgive though. I forgive myself and move on but I don’t forgive them if I find what they did unforgivable.

      Reply
  34. ianscyberspace Avatar
    ianscyberspace

    Forgive yes, forget no. Making progress on the grudge question. The lack of forgiveness and holding of grudges does more damage to me health wise than its worth to hold onto those two. Holding grudges is not worth the effort as it certainly doesn’t hurt the one we hold the grudge on. Most of the time they are either unaware or don’t care.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I don’t hold grudges to a point that it affects my life in any way. I know some people do and definitely don’t think that’s healthy. I move on from it but don’t forgive or forget when I find some situations unforgivable. I don’t think everyone deserves my forgiveness.

      Reply
  35. marouabourni Avatar
    marouabourni

    Magnificent six word story 😊

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you so much 😊

      Reply
  36. Joseph Glidden Avatar
    Joseph Glidden

    I am quick to forgive. The forget part is more frequent as I get older. What was the question? 🙂

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Lol, I guess that’s one of the good things about getting older.

      Reply
  37. sentikijamir Avatar
    sentikijamir

    We are the same! 😂 I am also a firm non believer in forgive and forget. I may forgive but I never forget. And yes, I hold grudges. 😀😀

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Lol exactly, some stuff we can forgive but not forget and some things are unforgivable lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

      Reply
  38. Alex Diaz-Granados Avatar
    Alex Diaz-Granados

    I, too, try to forgive, but some offenses are so grievous that they don’t lend themselves to “let’s hug and make up” forgiveness.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, exactly. Some offenses don’t deserve forgiveness.

      Reply
  39. Manoj Mehra Avatar
    Manoj Mehra

    I too believe that some people don’t deserve to be forgiven.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, some things are just unforgivable.

      Reply
  40. Manoj Mehra Avatar
    Manoj Mehra

    I believe that some people don’t deserve to be forgiven.

    Reply
  41. gizmos16201 Avatar
    gizmos16201

    I spent many years holding onto my past, but when I finally forgave the person who destroyed my life my health did improve.

    Will I ever forget, not in a million years.

    I feel forgiving is very important for our health and happiness, but memories can’t be totally forgotten when it created emotional pain in our lives

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, I agree. Somethings are so difficult to forget and others are impossible. And sometimes it’s good to remember so we remain cautious in the future.

      Reply
      1. gizmos16201 Avatar
        gizmos16201

        It is true remembering can keep us safe from repeating the same mistakes

        Reply
  42. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Oh Pooja, I’m feeling this post. Right there with you. I’ve been used and abused and horribly betrayed, and then guilt tripped about not forgiving by people who meant well. But also by the very people who caused the trauma! People have developed the idea grudges are poison but I think they’re actually boundaries. As long as you’re not sitting in bitterness 24/7 and letting it consume you to the point you can’t function, you’re fine. If it takes a lifetime to process the hurt, then it takes a lifetime. There’s a process to grief and it looks different for everyone and it has a different timeline for everyone. As someone who’s got a very hard time letting go of utter WTF behaviors from people I trusted or cared about? I totally get you. Be gentle with yourself. It’s a journey. ❤️ (and sorry for the novel!)

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I appreciate the long comment actually! ❤️And I am so glad you understand how I feel. I agree that it helps us learn boundaries. I definitely think we should let go of certain things and try to live our best lives but it’s possible to do that without forgiving certain things. I have let go of many things but when I find something particularly unforgivable I always remember and refuse to let the person back in my life. I am not going to forgive and pretend to like someone I can’t trust. Thanks again! Btw, the comment doesn’t have a username, could you leave your blog link?

      Reply
  43. haoyando Avatar
    haoyando

    I have to say sometimes I force myself to forgive or forget, which is not a good thing to do. The forcefulness probably produces an immediate result, but I don’t really just forget or forgive just because I feel that I should do what I command myself to do. It ends up that it seeps out in other relationship and in other interactions, and probably it even becomes a hidden trigger. For example, I can’t really forget or forgive what my narcissistic grandma and parents did to me and to others. If I pretend that I have already forgiven or forgotten of them, it will just be a pretense. There’s no truth to it. I have to let it out and let myself vent (at least online) to make myself feel better. It’s like water. It needs to go somewhere.
    On the other hand, I also understand that holding a grudge can only makes one suffer even more. And I know that often these grudges are provoked by some narcissistic relatives who deliberately try to pitch me against one of my cousins so that the narcissists can feel their own superiority.
    And the social systems too. Sometimes an established institution will favor one group over another, which causes a lot of fictions. For example, women fighting for limited positions; minority battling each other for a few available jobs… The list is endless…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s exactly why I don’t forgive or forget when I don’t mean it. Because when you fake it the anger is still there and will come out in other ways which may be more toxic. I move on with my life but I always remember and cut out the toxic people.
      Yes, some grudges can definitely be very toxic but like you said some things are unforgivable. I think the best thing is to find a balance where you don’t let those grudges ruin your life but you also don’t forgive the person and pretend everything is fine.

      Reply
  44. Shaunelius Sterns Avatar
    Shaunelius Sterns

    I don’t hold grudges, but I don’t forget about things either. Things are hard to let go of, especially when someone hurt you deeply. I can truly say that when I was younger, I held grudges, but when I learned about forgiveness and what it means, I started forgiving, but not ever forgetting.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      It’s a good idea to remember because that helps us be cautious and not make the same mistakes in the future.

      Reply
      1. Shaunelius Sterns Avatar
        Shaunelius Sterns

        Absolutely.

        Reply
  45. manifestation Avatar
    manifestation

    😯 nice words n stuff.

    I will answer your question too. I hold grudges too. Always.

    I hope you don’t feel bad about having some of your own. It’s human nature. You have the choice and ability in placing importance or significance on things.

    I can’t make sense of a grudge being for something meaningless to the person having one.

    It also sounds like something in your awareness. You’ll arrive to your solution, assuming this is one of your goals with self development.

    Awareness plays no games.

    Also, i tend to understand things different than they are said so hope this makes sense 😀

    You write very well. ✌️ take care.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks. I get what you mean. I agree that grudges shouldn’t be the most important thing in your life but at the same time I think holding grudges is okay if you are still able to live your best life. Take care too.

      Reply
  46. dustyreviewer Avatar
    dustyreviewer

    I like this positive story. Forgiveness is important just as much for the forgiver as for the forgivee. It’s a good place to start for self-improvement.

    “Aggrieved yesterday. Avenged today. Anxious tomorrow.”

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Love your SWS too, goes perfectly with the theme of this post.

      Reply
      1. dustyreviewer Avatar
        dustyreviewer

        Thank you!

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          You’re welcome!

          Reply
  47. Gertrude_n Avatar
    Gertrude_n

    On the SWS, forgiveness helps us the people forgiving live free. I have noticed that when someone does somethings bad to us, they will go ahead and live their best life.🥴
    Yet we are the ones left hurting, so forgiveness is good for us.

    I don’t like holding onto grudges. I don’t like it when am uncomfortable with other people.
    So I usually forgive and let my mind/memory decide when it wants to forget.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I usually go on to live my best life and get over what happened, I just don’t forgive and forget. Like I will never let that person back into my life or pretend like things are okay with them.

      Reply
      1. Gertrude_n Avatar
        Gertrude_n

        Not letting people back is a good thing, because I also noticed some people take advantage of our kindness sometimes.

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Yes, that’s exactly why I cut some people out. Once you let them back in they will try to walk all over you.

          Reply
  48. Janice Reid Avatar
    Janice Reid

    “There’s nothing wrong with not forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve your forgiveness as long as you don’t let that grudge disrupt your happiness.” this is the most important sentence in your story. Maybe it’s time to let the baby grudges go, what someone pooped in your diaper 🤣?

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Lol no, someone stepped on my hand and messed up my fingers 😫

      Reply
  49. Tom Avatar
    Tom

    Very powerful six-word story. Sorry to hear it happened to you & hope your hand mends soon.
    Grudges are perfectly normal to have – don’t feel bad for nurturing them & often they’re well worth heeding. Nourish that gut feeling & don’t let it turn toxic. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Definitely some grudges are not things we can forget.

      Reply

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