Drowning in the memories of you. I wake up each morning, gasping for air. My hands reaching out. But there’s nothing there. I can still smell you on the other side of my bedsheets. I can still hear your laugh as we lay besides one another. Those perfect moments. When did they end? I never remember the exact moment you turned into a monster. I just remember when I lay on the floor, afraid that this would be my last breath. Knowing that if I survived, my only option was to run. I want to hate you and yet I’m never able to. I still can’t see you as the monster you are, just as the lover you once were. Leaving was the best decision I ever made, but a small part of me will always long for what we once had. Even if the foundation was nothing but an illusion you created.
About “Drowning In The Memories Of You”:
“Drowning In The Memories Of You” started out as a poem but I prefer it more as it is. Sort of like a stream of consciousness monologue. Interestingly, I only wrote this after seeing the image. I was searching for an image for a different poem last week and came across this one and instantly this came to me.
It’s about trauma bonding which is sometimes confused with Stockholm Syndrome. Anyway, I always hear people say “why didn’t you just leave?” to victims. But the truth is that it’s so much more complicated than that. It’s rarely possible for victims to “just leave.” Not only due to physical and financial reasons but due to psychological reasons too.
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