Recently, as I sat down to re-read Pride And Prejudice once again I couldn’t help but reflect on my own life. I will be turning twenty-eight next month which means I will have been an adult for an entire decade. And in that decade, especially over the last few years, I have learnt so much about myself, those around me and life in general. There is so much I wish I knew when I was younger. But the sad truth is you can’t go back in time. Still, I thought it could perhaps save someone else the trouble if I shared what I wish I knew about adulting before I became an adult.
These are some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way and maybe some of you will find them insightful or even relatable.
You Know Nothing
The first thing life did when I became an adult was humble me. When you’re young, you think you know everything. You think you know what’s best, what’s right and don’t care too much about consequences. However, as you get older you realise that you know so little. So, so, so little.
And I wish that was something I had learned earlier on. It would have saved from doing so many dumb and embarrassing things as well as saved me from making actual mistakes that affected me negatively. I wish I had listened to those around me, taken the advice of people who knew better instead of being an annoying know it all.
It’s Okay To Not Be Okay
When I was younger, I was a very uptight person and I really tried my best to repress everything in order to keep it together. And I know realise that this was a big mistake. I ended up just repressing so much and eventually it all came back out anyway. And that was so much worse.
I wish I knew back then that it was okay to not be okay. That negative emotions are a part of life and repressing them doesn’t make them go away permanently. They’re unpleasant but they need to be felt, processed and then discarded. Not bottled up until the bottle breaks.
The Power Of Saying No
I have always been awful at boundaries and struggled with saying no. But at least now I’ve begun working on it and am getting much better. But back then, I would bend over backwards to accommodate others even when it meant wearing myself out.
I wish I had learned to value myself back then and value my time. There are so many moments where I should have set strong boundaries and I still regret many of them. Of course, what’s done is done and all I can do is learn from those mistakes so I don’t repeat them. But I could have really used this lesson when I was a younger adult.
Some People Just Straight Up Suck
This one took a lot of painful experiences to learn but I think I’ve reached a point where it’s really been ingrained into me. Back in the day, I tried my best to believe there was good in everyone. Even when someone was clearly using me or not putting as much into our friendship/relationship as I was, I would still go out of my way to accommodate them and keep them in my life. I would make excuses for their bad behaviour both to myself and others.
But now I know, some people just suck. There’s no redemption there. This also includes people that are stunted and refuse to grow as human beings. The people that you will try to set boundaries with, have conversations with about what’s bothering you and they’ll change for a bit and then just go back to their regular selves. Those people never change as much as we wish they would. And the best thing to do with people like that is distance yourself or cut them off when possible. You need to do what you need to do to protect yourself.
Life Is Amazing
And finally, I wish I knew earlier on how amazing life truly is. I struggled with anxiety and depression as a teenager and young adult. During those times, I wasted so much of my life being miserable in bed at home. I wish I had gone out and experienced everything around me instead of drowning in the negativity. There’s so much I wanted to do but didn’t get a chance to do back then.
I am just thankful I was finally about to adjust my perception and learn to focus on the positive. To get out of my comfort zone and have new experiences. I so deeply want to go back in time and tell my younger self to snap out of it and just live life because it’s so incredibly amazing.
Final Thoughts
These are the main things I wish I knew about adulting before I became an adult. Hopefully, these tips will help someone younger out there. And this post might come off a little whiny (lol) or regretful but at the end of the day I very much do understand that my past is what it is. I can’t change it. So now, instead of focusing on what I didn’t know/do back then, I try to focus on the present and future.
What are somethings you wish you knew about adulting before becoming an adult? What advice would you give to someone younger? Let me know in the comments below because I would love to hear from you. Or simply stop by and say hi!
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