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The Life & Ramblings Of A Zillennial

Is This As Good As It Gets?

Is This As Good As It Gets

Do you ever wonder, is this as good as it gets? For a long time, what kept me going was the hope that things will get better in the future. When I was younger, I would think well it sucks now but at least things will change when I’m an adult. But then I became an adult, and nothing changed. Sure some things don’t suck as much but the stuff that made me depressed is still there.

Sometimes, I feel like I never put myself first. I work so hard to keep the peace around me and stop everything from falling apart. In my entire life, there have been barely any moments where I’ve been able to relax. I’m always tense, I’m always trying to deescalate something or the other. I’m anxious all the time. And honestly it’s exhausting.

I feel like I don’t even know what I want anymore. I don’t know who I am anymore. There is no me. I’m whomever I need to be in the moment to keep everyone happy. I feel so lost. And I keep thinking, is this as good as it gets? What guarantee do we have that things will ever get better? Life doesn’t seem worth living if this is all it is.

About Todays Post

It’s going to be a while before my next therapy session so instead I decided to write down what I was feeling because writing is very therapeutic for me. For those of you who read it in its entirety, thank you. For those that didn’t, that’s fine. I get it. I’m not looking for sympathy or pity or even advice really. I just needed a safe space to vent. And my safe space has become this blog.

Lastly, here’s a video I found interesting and wanted to share because I thought some of you may find it interesting too:

@theconsciouslee

Can you relate?

♬ original sound – The Conscious Lee

For mental health related posts please click here.

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P. J. Gudka

164 responses to “Is This As Good As It Gets?”

  1. Red-Haired Muse Avatar
    Red-Haired Muse

    I can relate!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, glad it’s not just me!

      Reply
  2. DoctorMaryam.org Avatar
    DoctorMaryam.org

    It is a constant struggle for a person who comes from the middle class background.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, unfortunately so.

      Reply
  3. Crandew Avatar
    Crandew

    Writing is great therapy; it’s the main reason I write. I know you said you weren’t looking for anything but I think we all face these things. I know I have.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, it’s always nice to know we’re not alone in feeling this way. And true, writing works well as therapy. I always feel better after.

      Reply
  4. wordspenspoken Avatar
    wordspenspoken

    My writing inspiration usually flows from my depression 😀 I can totally relate though. Therapy helped me to focus on self care

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Same here, a lot of my writing is inspired by my mental health issues. Therapy can be wonderful, it’s really helped me grow.

      Reply
  5. Rochdalestu Avatar
    Rochdalestu

    Life is a constant learning curve. If you are unhappy, try to change the things that aren’t completely satisfied with. Continuing to do the same things with the expectation that the outcome will change, is insanity.

    We are conditioned from an early age to look into the future, exams, university, vocation, family etc and we don’t acknowledge the present moment. Where we are now. This means that unless you are conscious of the present moment, every projection you have of the future is false as you are unaware of your starting point.

    On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone is zero. This is your life and it’s ending one moment at a time.

    Take care of yourself and take stock of your lifestyle. If you are cramming a square peg into a round hole, then step back and assess the situation. You might need to change your peg or you may have to refocus your attention to the correct hole.

    The future is a figment of your imagination, the past is just a cluster of memories whereas the present moment, the now, is your conscious being. Focus on the now and do what you need to do in order to create the future you want.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. You’re absolutely right. I’ve been trying to change some things but some stuff it’s not really possible for me to change right now. I think living in the present is a good solution for those things.

      Reply
      1. Rochdalestu Avatar
        Rochdalestu

        I don’t have any answers for you and you and I have been in a very similar position reading what you wrote but, importantly, I’m able to relate to the pain and angst that you have been feeling.

        As good as it gets, for example is question about what you already know, gets better! Now, I’m starting to write my third collection of memoirs atm. If I hadn’t been to hell (my only reasonable comparison to my picture of hell), I wouldn’t have my words or anything done. I’ve shared on a mental health community and I have received 75% positive comments, the remaining I have no authority to dismiss the people who commented yet I felt these people were there to be disrespectful and I personally feel sorry for them. Saying that I was bipolar and going to smash their ‘Head’ in!

        I have to admit I have been been blessed with my diagnosis. Acquaintances disappeared, my mum and dad, close real friends who don’t judge were left

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          It’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. It’s the same for me, those that cared and loved me stayed even with my diagnoses.

          Reply
  6. Nicole Smith Avatar
    Nicole Smith

    Girl, I get it. I wonder why everything has to be hard, which feels ungrateful. I want to feel like myself, instead of who everyone needs or wants me to be, but who is that? One foot in front of the other.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I know what you mean. Things always seem to be harder than they need to be. And it’s hard to know who you are or what you want when you’re a people pleaser. Which most people with anxiety are.

      Reply
  7. colleen Criss Avatar
    colleen Criss

    Learn to create loving boundaries for yourself.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I’m trying my best with that. Thank you.

      Reply
  8. dumbestblogger Avatar
    dumbestblogger

    It gets better. It really does.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you.

      Reply
      1. dumbestblogger Avatar
        dumbestblogger

        Sure thing.

        Reply
  9. trE Avatar
    trE

    And we all need this:

    “I just needed a safe space to vent. And my safe space has become this blog.”

    We truly do. Therapy helps me a lot. I keep my monthly sessions unless something VERY important comes up, but those are rare occurrences (thankfully).

    I’m glad you have a safe space, and that you’re vulnerable enough to consider it your blog.

    🙏🏾💙

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      True, safe spaces are important for us. And I feel like blogging is mine since this community is really open and kind. For the most part at least.
      True, therapy is amazing. Just having someone guide you and help you see things differently helps a lot.

      Reply
  10. Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/ Avatar
    Tamara Kulish from https://tamarakulish.com/

    “Sometimes, I feel like I never put myself first. I work so hard to keep the peace around me and stop everything from falling apart. In my entire life, there have been barely any moments where I’ve been able to relax. I’m always tense, I’m always trying to deescalate something or the other. I’m anxious all the time. And honestly it’s exhausting.”

    It isn’t your job to hold everything and everyone together! You stepped into that space because you desperately want the people to participate in the kind of family you need them to be, but what if they just can’t? What if you were to stop doing all that, and just let things play out? Maybe they’re desperately unhappy and they need to leave. You don’t need to step into the gap to be the glue to hold everything together.

    Their lives are their responsibility, and the choices they make lead to results of their making. It isn’t your job to make everything right, they need to do their part too.

    Part of being co-dependent is taking on responsibility for everyone around them, and losing themselves in the process. In order to grow from being a co-dependent, you need to realize where they end and you begin. The lines have been so blurred, that healthy boundaries have been erased.

    Your responsibility is to yourself first. Your mental health is very important, so stepping away from the drama and stopping being the fix-it person is vitally important. Just because you adopted that job, doesn’t mean it was actually yours to do! It really isn’t. Give them back the responsibility for the outcome of their actions, and let them figure it out now.

    Do check out some books about healing from co-dependency, follow the advice.

    If anyone in your circle tries to pin the blame on you for their actions because you didn’t step in once more to keep the peace, just recognize their blame-shifting and don’t keep dancing that old dance. It’s exhausting. I know it, I was very co-dependent too, and it destroyed my mental and physical health.

    Remember, it isn’t your job to hold everyone together. That’s each person’s responsibility to manage their own pile. You may get some push-back when you step away, because everyone became accustomed to you being in that role.

    Remember it isn’t actually you role in life!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, your advice is spot on and something my therapist tells me as well. I know I should just stop because other people aren’t my responsibility or my problem. However, it’s tough because of the anxiety I get when things fall apart. I’m trying to let go but it’s been really tough. Will definitely read up on co-dependency. Thanks again.

      Reply
      1. Armann and Kaymann Avatar
        Armann and Kaymann

        Fix it person talking here. Its fix it and forget it. If they dint like your answer or the way you handled it, tell them to fix it themselves. They should feel honored that you tried to help, not come back with a complaint about the help.

        Remember, if you must fix it, do so and forget it. The end. No complaints. No crying.

        Reply
      2. Deb8 Avatar
        Deb8

        I always enjoy your writing. Not to toot my own horn, but I just made a post on anxiety and the three principle ways I have fought it. Maybe you could take a look
        I know many people believe that anxiety can’t be changed, only endured .I disagree .
        Take good care

        Debi

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          I will definitely check it out. Thanks so much for letting me know about it.

          Reply
  11. My Mindfulness Journey Blog Avatar
    My Mindfulness Journey Blog

    The struggle is real. I hope you feel better soon. I once read that the goal in marriage is not to be happy. I know you’re not married but for me, I used to dream of becoming happy when I got married, thinking it would solve all my problems with my parents. Instead, I carried all my childhood trauma and ex relationship baggage with me. It took me a long time to realise that when I had a clear purpose in front of me, it didn’t matter what things were bringing me down. However, when I lost sight of my purpose, which is “to raise a kind grateful decent human being who isn’t traumatized by me” by “being a good role model”, I start flailing like a fish out of water, and start focusing on all the things I don’t have and I start looking for things to boost my dopamine levels, then I crash and burn when my dopamine levels drop. I hope im making sense lol

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      You’re totally making sense. Even though I’m not married or a parent I can relate. When I’m focused on a goal I feel much better but when I lose that focus I also look for anything that will boost my dopamine levels and obviously eventually you crash and feel like crap. It’s a toxic cycle.

      Reply
      1. My Mindfulness Journey Blog Avatar
        My Mindfulness Journey Blog

        100% I hope you are feeling better now

        Reply
  12. Shaunelius Sterns Avatar
    Shaunelius Sterns

    I know exactly how you are feeling. I have experienced that for most of my life. I was always trying to keep the peace, make others happy, and in the process of it all I felt lost like I had lost myself. I felt like I would never be myself because I was too busy trying to be everything for everyone except myself. It got so bad that I forgot about myself, and how to put myself first. Now, I can focus on me. I can put my needs first. Our mental health is very important. We have to take care of ourselves and not worry about the rest. Thanks for sharing. Have a great weekend.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      It’s wonderful that you got better and learnt to put yourself first. It gives me hope that someday I’ll be able to do that too. Thanks and have a great weekend too.

      Reply
      1. Shaunelius Sterns Avatar
        Shaunelius Sterns

        You will. You just have to put your foot down and let them know that you are important, your life is important and that you can’t be everything for everyone. You have to take care of you. They will be alright if you tell them NO. I know it’s hard, and it will hurt, but you have to think of yourself because there’s only one you.

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Thanks, will definitely try to be more assertive and set better boundaries.

          Reply
          1. Shaunelius Sterns Avatar
            Shaunelius Sterns

            If you don’t, people will try to walk all over you.

            Reply
  13. JR Avatar
    JR

    Don’t worry it will all come together fine! We all struggle at times with these exact type of thoughts. I wish I had better advice at this time, just ask the universe for wisdom and understanding and you’ll start to see it, that’s what I did recently! Be compassionate with yourself, your blog is so awesome, best wishes.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you so much, that’s actually great advice. I’ll do that during my meditation tonight.

      Reply
  14. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar
    DEVANG UPADHYAYA

    I won’t be saying anything big!
    Because I am in no place to suggest you anything. I not even a certified professional to give advice.

    It’s okay to share your feelings here…. people do care.
    I hope you feel better and find the answer you are looking for.

    Sending you lots of love, my dear friend.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, really appreciate it. BTW, I got your email and will reply to it tomorrow 😊

      Reply
      1. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar
        DEVANG UPADHYAYA

        Take your time 😝

        Those qs are time consuming

        Reply
  15. Vidah Avatar
    Vidah

    I hope you feel better soon, Pooja.
    Take care!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much!

      Reply
  16. Sadje Avatar
    Sadje

    Sometimes life is hard and sucks. But it does gets better, I promise. Been there. ❤️🧡🫶🏼

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, really appreciate that ❤️

      Reply
      1. Sadje Avatar
        Sadje

        You’re welcome!

        Reply
  17. Mthobisi Magagula Avatar
    Mthobisi Magagula

    Fascinating blog post Pooja G. Well, I am sorry that you get depressed and the things that depress you are still there , well, life is an uncertain path but hold on. Pray to God and all things will be fine🙏😊

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you so much, really appreciate that 😊

      Reply
  18. Destiny Avatar
    Destiny

    sending hugs your way, dear Pooja 🤗🤗🙏🤍

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you 🤗💖

      Reply
  19. Melodi Umoh Avatar
    Melodi Umoh

    I relate to what you are talking about. I often feel that sense of emptiness after a big accomplishment. I almost always achieve my long-term goals, but some problems persist. I know the common advice is “Love yourself” but I also want the love of others in my life and I want to be able to share the joy of my victories with others. Focusing on the self is important but it can also feel intensely isolating. I think it does get better, it just takes a lot of work. I know that even though things are hard I’m not as hard on myself as I used to be. Statistically, if the work is put in, mental health improves in middle age and beyond so we have that to look forward to. The happiest years of our lives are probably ahead of us, despite the contemporary myth of carefree youth. Being young is very hard these days.
    I hope you feel better soon. By the way, that artist you posted is an amazing singer! Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks for understanding, it’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. I usually achieve my goals too but end up feeling a bit empty after. And I’d like to have people to share it with as well that would be happy with me. But maybe someday. It’s true, things usually get easier when we get older and have put in the work.
      Glad you enjoyed it, thanks!

      Reply
  20. Geoff Stamper Avatar
    Geoff Stamper

    Life comes without guarantees but nobody is doing you better than you. I am betting that you will feel better about your life looking back on it than you will while living it. You do not need an answer now on whether it gets “better.” Enjoy more, worry less.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks and it’s true I have made a lot of progress compared to who I was a few years ago. Focusing on the present definitely helps.

      Reply
  21. Barb Taub Avatar
    Barb Taub

    I’m no therapist, so I can’t answer your question. And I’m so very to hear that you’re going through so much pain.

    But I have lived a long time, and from that I can say I have learned a few things.
    1. When I was first heading for university, ALL the doors were open. I had nothing but choices. But growing up means steadily making choices that close some doors. The trick is to focus on the next open door instead of all the closed ones.
    2. There is no such thing as “happy ever after”. And thank goddess for that because really—how boring. Instead there are a few cycles where I’m intensely happy or sad, and a lot more where I’m somewhere in between. Somehow they all added up to a pretty good life with a few huge highs, some terrible lows, and best of all, a few more open doors. 🚪

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I really appreciate that advice, it genuinely made me feel a lot better. I’ve been feeling like lots of doors closed recently but you’re right I need to focus more on those that are open rather than those that are closed.

      Reply
  22. Manoj Mehra Avatar
    Manoj Mehra

    I hope that things will get better for you in the future.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much.

      Reply
  23. Lokesh Sastya Avatar
    Lokesh Sastya

    Hi Pooja,
    You have written what you wanted to speak or convey to us.

    If you feel lost it’s the moment where you should “recognise and appreciate yourself”.

    Don’t overload yourself…if you can’t take that much load.

    The answer lies in you.
    It’s about the choice.
    Make choices those make you happy, free, and strong (like a player).

    Take care. Try to focus.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, really appreciate that.

      Reply
  24. Bookstooge Avatar
    Bookstooge

    Thank goodness for blogs and journals. Get all that stuff that’s churning on the inside outside of us….

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      True, writing really helps get everything out. It also helps me put what I’m feeling into words.

      Reply
      1. Bookstooge Avatar
        Bookstooge

        That is great. I try to put my feelings into words (on a private journal) at least once a week but they just keep coming back. So I keep on writing 😀

        I hope it helps you cope…

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          I’m coping and it does help, thanks. Yeah, I tried journaling too but I find blogging a little better for me. The really private stuff I still write in a journal and usually save it for therapy.

          Reply
          1. Bookstooge Avatar
            Bookstooge

            Just out of curiosity, do you notice an emotional difference between typing and writing with a pen?
            I do, for the serious stuff.

            Reply
            1. Pooja G Avatar
              Pooja G

              Yup, I see a difference too. Personally, when I type the writing seems to be more put together and my thoughts are more coherent. Whereas when I write like with a pen it’s more of my thoughts just sort of flowing and sometimes randomly. What about you?

              Reply
              1. Bookstooge Avatar
                Bookstooge

                When I want to write quickly and only semi-deeply, typing is the best for me.
                But when I have something preying on my mind or feelings, I need to take the time to physically write it out.

                Reply
  25. The Green Crunchy Mother Avatar
    The Green Crunchy Mother

    I’m so sorry you are feeling this way Pooja. As a female who also struggles with anxiety, I hear you. Mental health is a very real issue and you are not alone. I’m so glad you are sharing your journey because you are not alone, <3

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, it really does feel better knowing you’re not the only one feeling that way.

      Reply
  26. biglittleus Avatar
    biglittleus

    I also know this feeling. I Hooe writing in your blog continues to be a safecsoace for you.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much and I think it will.

      Reply
  27. utahan15 Avatar
    utahan15

    as you age
    you will find
    less energy
    to be stressed
    by shit
    that should
    have run off your
    back
    like water on a duck
    that s a plus

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I really hope so.

      Reply
  28. WellsFiction Avatar
    WellsFiction

    Thank you for your honesty. Being vulnerable can be so hard, yet it’s really good to let others know what’s up. And having that one person in your life to talk to is so important. I hope you can find that person or group and also find more joy to overcome the anxiety. Have a lovely day, friend.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, I talk to my best friends which helps a lot. Have a lovely day too.

      Reply
  29. Ludmilla Louissaint Avatar
    Ludmilla Louissaint

    Somehow, I feel the same as you right now. But the only thing that keeps me going is thinking about about a better future. But, the more I work hard, the more things get stuck. I can say , writing and blogging have helped me a lot. Keep going Pooja, good things sometimes comes last.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Sorry you’re in the same place I am. But I hope things get better for us over time. Thanks so much.

      Reply
      1. Ludmilla Louissaint Avatar
        Ludmilla Louissaint

        Yes, I am hopeful that things will get better for us, or anyone else who is going through the same thing.

        Reply
  30. Eugi Avatar
    Eugi

    Writing is therapeutic for me too, Pooja. I vent through my poetry. There will always be challenges in life and I can’t change what is not within my control. Thus, I try to change my attitude. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but I at least tried.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s a good way to deal with issues. Our mindset makes a big difference. Thanks so much.

      Reply
      1. Eugi Avatar
        Eugi

        My pleasure, Pooja.

        Reply
  31. The Wheelchair Teen Avatar
    The Wheelchair Teen

    Thank you for sharing such real thoughts. Definitely don’t be afraid to vent here. I’ve been feeling a little like this too but do know that things will get better. We all keep trying our hardest to reach our dreams and touch lives, because if we lose hope, the alternative is an abyss, a shut down. We have to keep moving forward and hoping. I would say: “just be yourself,” among others but I know it’s not that easy. I recommend spending some time alone getting to know yourself better. Writing always helps, as does creative endeavors, and meditating. I hope this helped.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. Sorry you’ve been feeling this way too. Definitely helped and it’s always nice to know you’re not alone in feeling this way.

      Reply
  32. Zainab Avatar
    Zainab

    This is so brave and admirable for you to share, blogging is such a therapy and thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share it with us – this community is always here 💕 I think these feelings are 100% valid, it definitely gets like that sometimes. I think for me, it’s about finding simple, colloquial things that bring me joy again rather than seeking something out – and eventually I’m sure it will get better. Rooting for you Pooja <3

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. I always find writing really therapeutic and a great way to put into words how I’m feeling and you’re right this community is so supportive which is why I feel comfortable sharing it here. 💖

      Reply
  33. Opher Avatar
    Opher

    Some things get better; some things get worse; I think that life is about the striving!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      True, we just have to keep going.

      Reply
  34. jesusluvsall Avatar
    jesusluvsall

    Thank you for sharing my fellow Jedi. Having worked through Complex PTSD, depression and anxiety, I feel I can relate. How you feel is valid as is your life experience.

    As for me, I know this is not as good as it gets. I am at the age that I have much more yesterdays in my life than I will have tomorrows. Knowing this has freed me up to slow down and enjoy the many little things in life. But those are not where I draw my hope from. I draw my hope from my faith.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you so much, it’s always nice to know we’re not alone although I’m sorry you’ve been through similar things. Faith definitely helps.

      Reply
  35. CurvyElvie Avatar
    CurvyElvie

    Pooja I am way older than you and I can relate. I suffer from bipolar depression and everyday is a struggle to stay positive. Is this as good as it gets? I have my blog that brings me joy and anxiety at the same time. I know I have to stick to it and eventually I will get more than two views in a day. I’m staying positive and know there is more to life than just this. Stay strong my friend.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I’m glad you’re staying positive and yes your blog will grow over time. We all start out slow but it grows after a while. Thanks so much.

      Reply
  36. BabyFunbo Avatar
    BabyFunbo

    I totally get what you mean. Sometimes things feel like they don’t get better.
    But things do get better. We just need lots and lots of patience to finally watch it happen.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much and yeah I guess eventually things change for the better.

      Reply
  37. Baydreamer - Lauren Scott Avatar
    Baydreamer – Lauren Scott

    Life will always have its ups and downs, but I think we need to focus more on the ups. It’s hard though. In fact, sometimes it feels downright impossible. But the trying is worth it. I hope you feel better soon because you matter. Hugs!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, really appreciate that!

      Reply
  38. Shraddha Govekar Avatar
    Shraddha Govekar

    I hope you feel better soon dear. Take care 🫶🫶

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thank you so much 😊

      Reply
  39. Ranjana Avatar
    Ranjana

    Hope is always accompanied with patience and continuous learning. There’s always a rainbow after a rain. Sending you peace and hugs 😘

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, really appreciate that 😊

      Reply
  40. Joseph Glidden Avatar
    Joseph Glidden

    Virtual hug. If you can, get out into nature and take in the sights, sounds, and aromas. I find that grounds me the best.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, I find it helps too and plan on going for a walk in nature tomorrow.

      Reply
  41. rimaparkar Avatar
    rimaparkar

    I too vent out my innermost feelings by writing. And we all feel the way you feel at some point in our lives. So, there’s nothing wrong with the way you feel. Sometimes, we think too much about others and end up neglecting ourselves in the process.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. It’s true, many of us feel this way and writing does help a lot.

      Reply
  42. Shahbaz Ashraf Avatar
    Shahbaz Ashraf

    Live the way you want to live and stop bothering about others all the times. It may sound somewhat selfish but our own well being comes first.
    And the course of life never runs smooth, you’ll always experience mixed things, so try to take these normally. We have to adjust ourselves.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, I appreciate the advice. It’s hard to put ourselves first sometimes but I think you’re right we have to be selfish about some stuff.

      Reply
  43. Is This As Good As It Gets? – Great Feeling

    […] Is This As Good As It Gets? […]

    Reply
  44. Brian, Snarebox Avatar
    Brian, Snarebox

    I read this right after you posted it, but I wanted to wait until I could say something thoughtful. Saying things like “it’ll get better!” and “it won’t always be like this!” is almost insulting unless it’s to someone you don’t know at all (I know you a tiny bit).

    I’ve felt like this many times and I’m sure I’ll feel like it many more times. Socially, I believe we’re remarkably similar. I relate to the feeling of anxiety attached to always having to put out fires or appease people, and not ever telling people what *I* want. I’m a chameleon who is whatever the people around me in the moment need me to be. After I got sober this started to change a tiny bit, but it’s still there and it always will be. I don’t think it had anything to do with my alcoholism, I think it had to do with being raised to be neither heard nor seen lest I want to either be yelled at or have one of my parents vent to me about the other (which is extremely toxic to do to your child as we all know!).

    What has helped me is focusing on the goals I have control over, but I also know that for YEARS I couldn’t do this because nothing seemed to be in my control (and it probably wasn’t). I’m blessed now to have a job that takes all of my being to manage and in my off-hours I’m too exhausted to worry about anything else. But from what you’ve said it sounds like you genuinely do have things you SHOULD worry about. Or… maybe not worry… but handle somehow. Neither of us were really taught how to do that in a healthy way though it seems.

    I’m glad you have a place to vent, at least, and I hope it does help in the time between seeing your therapist. I can guarantee you things will change in the future. I can’t guarantee those changes will be good 😅 but you’re a highly intelligent woman so I think the balance will be good. Unfortunately, intelligence is also a curse, especially for women whose intellectual abilities aren’t always respected by the world and are expected to be very social and upbeat. Well, I guess men are expected to be social too but in a different way.

    I hope the weekend got you some recovery time and you’re doing a bit better today. If not, you can always email me and I’ll try to give you feedback that isn’t canned. 😉

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, that actually helps. It’s tough when you’ve been a chameleon your whole life and sort of forget how to be yourself. It definitely has a lot to do with how we’re raised. For me, it was that I’m the youngest so no one really had enough time to give me much attention so I sort of just drifted into the background.

      Thanks. Yeah, it’s tough for both meant and women since society doesn’t like when men express things and women are obviously often supposed to be a certain way. It sucks but it’s life. Thanks so much 😊

      Reply
  45. donnajburkholder Avatar
    donnajburkholder

    Thanks for your post and your honesty. I didn’t read all the many responses you got but I’m sure you received some good nuggets of wisdom. Keep doing the work you are doing. It really can get better. I speak from first hand experience. Learning to put ourselves first and not pleasing everyone else can take a long time to master. Sometimes we do it for so long that we’re not even sure what we want or what is best for ourselves. But we can learn it. Gradually. I hope you’re feeling better today. I’m so glad you write and share your feelings and thoughts and insights with us. Keep going…and keep writing…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, I did receive a lot of great comments. It’s true, it’s tough to put ourselves first but I think it’s something we have to learn. I know I need to. Thanks so much.

      Reply
  46. pieceofsoulbynina Avatar
    pieceofsoulbynina

    I feel you. We had thought that life would be easier as adults and it’s opposite…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Exactly, we think it’ll get better but often it gets tougher.

      Reply
  47. iambrotherlove Avatar
    iambrotherlove

    life will be tough at times, we just got to figure out what works for us. I can relate in the sense that we all have our wars to fight, as I know my health is not getting better due to my disability. But yes I too find writing to be therapeutic, part of why i continued to write, will continue to do so, as I’m able too

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yes, writing really helps when we’re going through something tough. It helps us process things in a more calm way even if it doesn’t make it better.

      Reply
  48. Belladonna Avatar
    Belladonna

    So good that you wrote this down!!!! Giving you hugs and warm wishes.
    It’s time to let go and if that means watching chaos erupt because you are checking on yourself then let it be. You come first!!!!!

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks and I really appreciate that, you’re right sometimes we have to put ourselves first despite the consequences!

      Reply
      1. Belladonna Avatar
        Belladonna

        Girlie you ae worth it!!! Put yourself first Pooja!

        Reply
  49. Janice Reid Avatar
    Janice Reid

    Sorry you feel that way. Remember that sometimes it’s okay to make yourself happy and to keep the peace within yourself even if it means stepping away from the needs of others, especially if not doing so causes you pain and stress.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, really appreciate that. I know you’re right but it’s a struggle.

      Reply
  50. Milena Alien Avatar
    Milena Alien

    What you are going through is very much relatable. I know exactly what it’s like to be trapped in your own head because you had certain expectations. It’s like preparing to teach a class no one showed up to. It’s like going to your own wedding and the spouse decided to give up on you. It’s like climbing up the stairs to see / find something extraordinary and there is nothing but cobwebs, dark and gloom. It reminds me of my teen years, luckily they didn’t stay. Fortunately life doesn’t stay the same it is changing constantly, you are changing too, world is changing, culture and your own country is changing so much that you are surprised to find out you don’t fit any more. Have you ever fit? I don’t have an answer to this. The only thing I know nothing stays the same, the wind of change is blowing and you keep trying to stay in the past or in the future, while you need to go with the flow. Shedding your false identities and experiencing death of ego. For me it’s the hardest part of letting go. I also want to change my inner narrative, things like this is who I am, this is what reputation looks like, this is what I want to be in a year or two. I noticed that reality changes my narrative so quickly and who I am, it’s a bit sad but also kind of liberating. Like okay I don’t have to be this, because I can be that instead, okay, in two years I will not be doing this as apparently I will be doing that… Okay, humbling but doable. Death of ego is only scary if you think it’s scary. It’s definitely a process of learning to trust the universe / God / fate. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, never alone.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. It truly helps me to know that I’m not alone. Generally, I know that but when we’re going through something dark it’s easy to start feeling like you’re completely alone.
      You’re right, everything is constantly changes. The changes are the only constant in our life. I’m happy about that actually.

      Reply
      1. Milena Alien Avatar
        Milena Alien

        I am happy to hear you are feeling better. Emotions go up and down all the time, suppressing them is no good.

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          You’re right, I suppressed everything for years and it did me no good. Now I find a way to express myself whether it’s writing or poetry or music or art.

          Reply
  51. Quotes About Life #3 – Lifesfinewhine

    […] week I decided to share some quotes about life because as you may have been able to tell from my last post, I have been thinking about life a lot. I’m in a bit of a contemplative mood. I’ve also […]

    Reply
  52. haoyando Avatar
    haoyando

    Yes, I sometimes feel this way too. And for the past two weeks, I have been thinking that I have been using my anxiety (and fear) as a motivation to complete various things. And somehow now anxiety is so mixed up with my aspiration that it is very hard to relax. I think it is not a good habit since it creates a bad cycle and never let up.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      I know what you mean, it turns into a cycle and becomes a bad habit.

      Reply
  53. britcanwrites Avatar
    britcanwrites

    Virtual hugs. 💕
    Please take time for you … everything else will always be there. So no to your question, it gets better.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much 💕

      Reply
  54. Pennize Pics Avatar
    Pennize Pics

    I get what you are saying Pooj. I’m a lot older than you and I’m not going to lie, life doesn’t get any easier. But it’s up to us as individuals to find the small things in life that make us happy. There is always going to be challenges as you know, and we’re not always going to do what we really want to do. But what you have to offer as a person is something really special. Take some time for self-care if you need to, but know that you have many people in your life that understand.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, I appreciate that. I don’t think it gets easier either. I guess a lot of it is about gratitude for what we do have.

      Reply
      1. Pennize Pics Avatar
        Pennize Pics

        Yes exactly. It can be easy to focus on the stuff that we can’t control but why? Remember what you are thankful for and enjoy the little things in life like family and friends.

        Reply
  55. Cindy Georgakas Avatar
    Cindy Georgakas

    glad you can be honest to share with all of your followers Pooja. I think we all go through that at times. I have a great book I know of.. I think you even reviewed it. 😂💗Sending hugs and love💞

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, haha yes that book is a gem 😉💕

      Reply
      1. Cindy Georgakas Avatar
        Cindy Georgakas

        You’re so very welcome.. awww sweet but should i be worried about you? 💕💕

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          No, just a little existential crisis I’ll get over it!

          Reply
          1. Cindy Georgakas Avatar
            Cindy Georgakas

            Oh but of course you will. We all know those! 💕

            Reply
  56. Felicia Nazareth Avatar
    Felicia Nazareth

    I read your post, and I want you to know that you are heard and understood. It’s okay to feel lost and unsure about the future. Life can be challenging, but remember that it’s also full of possibilities and opportunities. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so honestly and openly. It’s essential to have a safe space to express oneself, and I’m glad you’ve found that here. Remember that you are not alone in feeling this way, and seeking therapy can be a helpful step in understanding your emotions and finding a path forward. Take your time, be gentle with yourself, and know that there is hope for things to improve. Your feelings are valid, and reaching out for support is a courageous choice. Take care, and we’re here for you whenever you need to share or vent.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, I really appreciate that. Yeah, therapy has been wonderful and I’m thankful for it. Really appreciate your kind comment.

      Reply
  57. sentikijamir Avatar
    sentikijamir

    Gosh, I have never related to a post like this. The portion where you mentioned that you’re always anxious that you can’t seem to enjoy the present hits hard. I also thought life would be better as I grow older but jokes on me! I think your post struck a chord in me.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Jokes on both of us 😳 It saddens me that you also feel this way but it is nice to know that I’m not alone. Let’s just keep our fingers crossed that things get better.

      Reply
  58. judeitakali Avatar
    judeitakali

    Hang in there, Pooja. The answers are often right in front of us. It may be your nature to be a people pleaser. That don’t mean you can’t please yourself as well. I don’t know know what ‘it’ is but I think you got it. Chin high and you should turn the corner any day now.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, really appreciate the motivating words.

      Reply
      1. judeitakali Avatar
        judeitakali

        In your corner anyday

        Reply
  59. Bridgette Avatar
    Bridgette

    I can relate to these thoughts. For me, I try and evaluate the moments I have that are truly mine—like writing poetry or taking photographs. Those are the pieces of me I create and leave in the world, regardless of what others take from me.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      That’s a great way to concentrate on the positive.

      Reply
  60. Steve Avatar
    Steve

    Hi Pooja,
    Thanks for your honest and forthright post. I am sorry things are not going so well and that there’s lots of tension. Not fun. I used to feel many of the same emotions and helplessness/hopelessness but as I’ve grown, matured and worked on myself, I know that taking care of myself makes me better able to cope with life’s ups and downs. Good luck with your next session, and thanks again for sharing.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much, I hope to be able to get a session next week.

      Reply
  61. Mr. Ohh's Sideways View Avatar
    Mr. Ohh’s Sideways View

    To Pooja and All, I know there are people with problems. I myself live with an incurable disease. Still, Doom and Gloom is not the way to go. I seek laughter in laughter in every moment. Happiness IS a choice and I choose it. It’s not always easy and I wake up crying sometimes, but if you stop focusing on what you don’t have and just live, Happiness will find you. Love to you all. 🤣😎🙃

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, appreciate the advice!

      Reply
  62. wingman2023 Avatar
    wingman2023

    People say you can just choose not to feel like that, but depression doesn’t work that way. It can stop you cold in your tracks! And much like a rain storm, you’ll just have to wait for clear skies…

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Yeah, I agree. It’s not really a choice, we just have to wait for it to pass.

      Reply
  63. Girl in Her Twenties Avatar
    Girl in Her Twenties

    This can’t be an easy feeling to process. There is this thin line separating selflessness and selfishness. Being too much of one has frustrating consequences and challenges we would rather not deal with it. But, striking a balance seems even more difficult. Sometimes we need distance from the things that trigger us so that we can decide what’s no longer serving us. I think it is only as good as it gets when we are living, making and doing things for everyone except ourselves. Life becomes easier when you live it on your own terms. Sending you lots of virtual hugs and ease ❤

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks, I appreciate that. I absolutely agree, having a balance between the two is hard but I think it’s important too and I’m trying the best I can to be more balanced in this aspect.

      Reply
      1. Girl in Her Twenties Avatar
        Girl in Her Twenties

        You have always been selfless, maybe try being more selfish then when you have experienced both, you can strike that balance between the two.

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          Yeah, I think that’s what I need to do too. I think being selfish is difficult for me but I need to try for my own sake. By the way, I left a comment on your blog but it may have gone to spam. Just a heads up.

          Reply
  64. wisterianwoman Avatar
    wisterianwoman

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I’ve been there, too. My anxiety is like a neverending torture. My medication really, really helped me and I am enjoying my days more because of it. Wishing you the best. 🩷

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. I’m so glad your medication is helping you. I hope you feel even better in the future.

      Reply
  65. Write_rspace Avatar
    Write_rspace

    We grew up with this preconceived notion,( I don’t know where we got it from) that life would be all rainbow and sunshines when we reached a certain age or did a certain thing.

    Maybe because we felt caged as kids and adulthood was like that shinning mirage of freedom in the far distant.

    Now you’re an adult and it’s not that great at all, you have anxiety, you’re stressed, constantly drained, trying to pay the bills and just get by, yet you still kids who crave to be grown up and become and adult too.

    This is as good as it gets because even as adults we still have this notion that if we do more or acquire more or achieve this we will be happier but then we do it and nothing changes,

    I’ve come to think about life as each emotion at a time and working through it.

    Instead of things will get good when I do x or buy y, why can’t I just embrace where I am at now and make the good out of it. Just enjoy life for what it is in the moment.

    Because in the end, challenges and problems and issues and worry and stress and all that don’t stop. They’ll always be there like an itch that needs to be scratched.

    I hope I didn’t veer off track here. That aside, I love this post and I felt like I understood you after reading it.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Thanks so much. I agree, as kids we think things will miraculously get better when we grow up. And that’s everything will be okay when we’re adults but that’s just not true. Being an adult is much harder if anything.

      Reply
  66. Is This As Good As It Gets? – Singh vs Kaur

    […] Is This As Good As It Gets? […]

    Reply
  67. vermavkv Avatar
    vermavkv

    Yes, life is not so easy.
    Thanks for this post.

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      Absolutely. Thank you.

      Reply
  68. Dream, Sister, Dream Avatar
    Dream, Sister, Dream

    Hello,
    Thank you for visiting my blog and thank you for sharing your story about your mental health. I suffer myself from anxiety and depression and I have my dearest loved ones who suffer. It som important to talk about mental health and I say Kudos to you for doing so. I looke forrward to read and follow your blog. All the best to you/Lotta

    Reply
    1. Pooja G Avatar
      Pooja G

      My pleasure and thanks for stopping by as well. I’m so sorry you hear you also suffer from anxiety and depression. It’s not easy. But yes, we have to keep openly talking about mental health as much as possible. I look forward to reading your posts too.

      Reply
      1. Dream, Sister, Dream Avatar
        Dream, Sister, Dream

        Thank you so much!

        Reply
        1. Pooja G Avatar
          Pooja G

          You’re very welcome!

          Reply

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