How To Feel At Peace With The Way You Look

Perfections And Imperfections

woman holding red flower
(Unsplash CC0)
Self-esteem and body image sometimes go together.
When we’re not happy with the way we look, we can lose confidence, and hide away from others. On the flip side, when we do feel happy about our appearance, we can act confidently and feel better within ourselves. This is something you might identify with.
Of course, your appearance shouldn’t define the way you feel about yourself. None of us are perfect, so you shouldn’t let any so-called imperfections get you down.
I know it can be a struggle to accept your imperfections and to love your body the way it is- it has definitely been a struggle for me. It does help a lot that there is so much more love for plus sized bodies but I still feel like we’re not quite there when it comes to loving all body types.
If you- like most of us- are struggling with what you look like at the moment, if you do need a boost in your self-confidence, and if you do want to feel at peace about the way you look, consider the following suggestions. 

#1: Don’t accept the media’s definition of beauty

Many of our insecurities come from the media’s definition of beauty. When we scroll through fashion magazines or browse websites that feature our favorite celebs and reality TV stars, we can start to feel less-than. We start to compare ourselves unfavorably to the way they look, with their super-slim bodies, expensive fashion tastes, and bright, white smiles. We focus on our flaws and lose confidence because we feel that we aren’t as attractive as they are.
But here’s the thing. If you ever feel like this, skip overthinking. Yes, the people you see on the page or screen might be attractive but doesn’t mean they are more beautiful than you. And besides, many images are photoshopped to eliminate signs of any flaws, so what you see might not be reality anyway. The celebs you adore also have make-up artists and fashion designers working for them, so of course they look good. The way they look without any enhancements might tell the real truth.
Instead of comparing yourself, create your own definition of beauty. Consider the aspects of your face and body that you enjoy, and embrace what is good about you. And look at the people you meet every day and consider those aspects that make them radiate beauty. It could be the way they smile at you or the way they rock an outfit that others might consider unfashionable. Beauty is multi-faceted, so don’t get hung up on the way the media portrays it. 

#2: Make changes where you need to

If making a change will make you feel at peace with yourself, then fine. If you think a brand new outfit from the store will give you the confidence you crave, buy it! If fixing your smile with cosmetic dentistry will improve the way you feel, then by all means, book that appointment with a dentist. And if your hairstyle doesn’t fit the way you want to think about yourself, go and see a stylist.
By doing something rather than nothing about your looks, you can make improvements where you feel they are needed. Again, you shouldn’t define yourself on the way you look, but if you know you will feel better about yourself after making a change here and there, then do what needs to be done.
I know that a lot of people will say love yourself as you are and I agree that you definitely should do that. However, in my opinion if something about your self really bothers you to an extent where you need to change it and can afford to do so I think you should go for it. Sometimes little changes like changing your makeup, hairstyle etc. can be a huge confidence booster. I know that I got a lot more confident after I learnt how to do makeup and wear my hair properly.

#3: Wear what you want to wear

woman spreading arms near body of water
(Unsplash CC0)
You don’t have to buy the outfits that are on-trend, as they might not suit your body or your tastes. And you don’t have to dress to impress your friends, as they should love you, no matter what you choose to wear. 
In all of your buying choices, buy those outfits that you know you will look good in. And focus on those pieces that are fitted to your body size. When you look good and feel good, you will feel more at peace with yourself, regardless of the opinion of others. 
A lot of times, companies try to sell the same style to everyone but everyone is unique. On the one hand what looks great on someone may not be for you and on the other hand what looks great on you may not look good on someone else. We all have our own unique style and we need to embrace them instead of embracing uniformity.
So, with all of your choices, learn to dress your truth. Embrace the styles and colors that are pleasing to you and choose those that match your personality. When you wear what you want to wear, you will discover a more confident you. 
And don’t feel pressured not to wear something because you feel like people will judge you for it. If someone is shallow enough to judge you by how you look or what you wear you really don’t want someone like that in your life anyway.

#4: Focus your attention on your best bits

For the bits of yourself that you’re not happy with, do what you can to change them if you want to. But instead of dwelling on them, focus on your best bits instead. Show gratitude for them, be positive, and remind yourself of your best features whenever you’re feeling down about your looks.
Then do what you can to draw attention to your favorite features. If you love your lips, learn how to apply lipstick properly, and choose those colors that will make your lips stand out. if you love your eyes, choose the eyeshadows that will complement your eye color. And if you love your cheeks, play around with a highlighter and a good contour to emphasize them even more.
It’s not easy to love every inch of your body but you can start by loving the small things about yourself that you do like and then move on to the parts of you that may not be your favourite. 
So, today, be happy with who you are, and stop comparing yourself to others. Dress the way you want to if it will make you feel good. You are beautiful, so remember that, and be kinder to yourself today.

Thoughts

What are some of the ways through which you love yourself and your body? How do you feel at peace with the way you look? As always let me know in the comments below because I would love to hear from you.


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107 thoughts on “How To Feel At Peace With The Way You Look

    1. I recently read ‘Girl stop apologising ‘ and it’s amazing. It changes how we think about ourselves. It thought me to look at myself through my own lenses and not through what I think are the perceptions of people about me.

      Liked by 3 people

  1. Point #2 is so important. While you shouldn’t care what the general standards of beauty are, you should strive to change whatever you’re not happy about. This means that if you’d REALLY like to lose that extra ten kilos despite all the body-acceptance movements out there, then you go ahead and do that.
    Sometimes people take the ‘love yourself’ thing the wrong way, and they try to accept things that they know they’re not okay with, and that’s where the problem lies. Thanks for this post, Pooja!

    Liked by 5 people

    1. I agree changing how you look should not be a negative thing. If you want to change something about yourself- not due to external pressures of course but rather because you yourself want to- you should definitely go for it.
      I totally agree and I know from experience that when you try to force yourself to like something about yourself that you know you don’t you’ll still hate it at the end of the day.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have to confess that when I was younger I felt crippled with self consciousness in regards to body image largely because of the pressure society puts on us but the older I get the less I care and that is very freeing. Really the only opinion that matters is your own and when you are yourself and happy with yourself other people admire you for the courage to just be yourself, dressing how you want and just being comfortable with who you are are great things.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. This is something I worry about for my students who are women and come from other countries. I worry they compare themselves to what they see in promoted as beauty in media. I often show a picture of flowers and ask if all of the flowers are beautiful. They say yes. Then I ask if they all look the same. Then they get my point.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I love that comparison because that’s what I truly believe. No one looks exactly the same- thankfully the world would be so boring if everyone looked the same- but we are all still beautiful in our own way. I love that you tell your female students that because as someone who migrated I know first hand that it’s scary when you look different /dress different.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Growing up, I had a difficult time finding beauty and makeup products that worked well for my complexion and didn’t react badly with my sensitive skin. Now that these industries have become more inclusive to people-of-color, I am less anxious about trying new products and finding that they actually work!
    I’ve struggled with acne, scars, and hyperpigmentation my whole life (I still do) and it always made me self-conscious. Being able to find products that are tailored to my particular skin care needs has been absolutely life changing for my confidence. The availability of BB creams, tinted moisturizers, and tinted sunscreens in my skin tone is much better, too. That’s my favorite, simple beauty trick that is good for my skin and enhances my “natural” look effortlessly.
    Another thing that has helped was changing my diet. I always suspected that some foods were causing or worsening my skin issues, particularly dairy products. Elimination diets are difficult commitments, but reducing dairy intake has had such a positive effect on my skin. Cutting it out completely was the best decision I made for my skin, but now I’m working out transitioning off again because it was too hard to find non-dairy products during quarantine!
    Great post! I think the best thing to do is to just act confident, even when you don’t feel that way, and eventually you will either become confident, or be so good at faking it that it won’t matter! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story!
      I have quite sensitive skin too so I can definitely relate. I have eczema on my body and face but cutting out dairy has significantly reduced it.
      I agree fake it till you make it works!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. This is an awesome post!! I used to have issues with how I look. I read a quote once that said something along the lines of “instead of looking in the mirror and thinking ‘ugh why why do I look like this’, think ‘this is my face’” this helped me to accept myself. I also learned to stop comparing myself and looking at the media for my definition of beauty.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. As a transgender woman, I feel very deeply about this subject. Over the years, I have struggled mightily with my looks. Unfortunately, I had very little feedback other than the mirror to help me. I found out the hard way my mirror was a liar. Just when I thought I looked great, I was sent home in tears by the public’s eye.
    It took me years to realize I wasn’t alone. Women (trans or biological) have the same “standards” to try to live up to. Fortunately, I was able to embark on a wonderful hormone replacement path which femininized my body. I was able to “sync” my brain with my exterior appearance which helped me to survive after a suicide attempt.
    Finally, thanks for the post! I loved it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes unfortunately women often have very unrealistic beauty standards to live up to and I can imagine how that may be harder for trans women. It must have been a bit of a shock for you when you first started transitioning. I’m glad you were able to feminise your body and feel better about the way you look. Thank you!

      Like

  7. This is such a great post and also easier said than done. I have experienced so many of the things you listed. I’ve spent more money than I should have for a better smile only for it to get worse. I refused to wear lipstick because I didn’t want to draw attention to my mouth. And finally, I started learning to focus on the positive things in my life versus the things I didn’t like. It always feels good to know you are not alone but it feels even better to have a community that uplifts you. Thank you for this post that reminds us to focus on all the great things we have going for us because I’m sure they outweigh the things we don’t like. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  8. It can def be hard to love ourselves sometimes, but it’s so important to refrain from comparing ourselves to popularized ideals portrayed in the media. First, there is so much retouching and photoshop that creates “perfected” looking appearances. Second, there are so many famous faces that weren’t born looking the way they look now!
    Also, 💯 agree on wearing what makes us feel confident and comfortable and not what society deems is the trend!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah absolutely I feel like the majority of pictures you see of famous people have been retouched/photoshopped in some way or the other. And yes most famous people have got at least one or two things done. They also have the best skin care, trainers, makeup artists etc. It’s just not fair to compare yourself to them.
      Yes absolutely you should dress for you not for society!

      Like

  9. this is something ive really been working on recently since i just turned 25. its not right to keep hating the way i look just because i don’t look like ..idk a model lol ? great post!! i really want to start wearing what i want to wear that’s something ive been missing tbh

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah and I mean most models get stuff done or have their images edited too so it’s really not fair to compare yourself to them. You should totally wear what you want- I’ve seen you IG posts and I think you’re gorgeous and would look amazing in everything!

      Like

  10. Being petite and skinny used to reduce my confidence level so much! In my teenage years, I started “faking” the confidence. Now, I’m so happy with my physical appearance and slowly am learning to shout down the echoes of others, telling me how to look. Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Very nicely put points I can imagine a lot of people in my life who have low self esteem. Reading your blog brought memories of them and I will definitely recommend them to read your blog. A few people who still don’t have self confidence will feel better after reading your blog. We need more bloggers like you. Way to go Pooja.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Social media’s definition of beauty… hm. Who makes these rules anyway? Or has it just become blind acceptance?
    Not to say we can’t look for tips online to enhance the parts of ourselves we adore. But it shouldn’t be that we change our beauty to suit social media’s categorization of what beauty should be, for everyone. I love this post so much 💚💚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The rules have always existed in my opinion but social media has made it worse because you see them showed in your face every time you open a social media platform.
      Yes exactly! It’s definitely okay to change and enhance yourself but you shouldn’t feel pressured to do something because of social media. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. This was a great post! I am the person that does not follow trends. I’ve always worn what I like without regard for anyone’s rules or remarks about it! Also, I’m small, but far from perfect and there are many flaws that I can point out about myself. However, just as you stated, I find those parts of my body that I love, like my legs, and I dress to show them off because I like to see them. And having my hair freshly styled makes me feel great, so I keep it done regularly! 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m glad you were able to love yourself the way you are. I think all of us have things we don’t like about ourselves but it’s important to focus on the positives. Glad getting your hair styled makes you feel good and you should definitely do it regularly!!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. This post is so empowering. Wish I had read something like this during my teenage years when I was battling severe self esteem issues. I’m glad to have eventually given a deaf ear to any negative unnecessary comment on the way I look and feel about myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah me too- I had serious self-esteem issues as a teenager too and it led to depression and anxiety, In the end the best thing to do is just ignore negative opinions and do what you want.

      Like

  15. These are really important tips. I struggled myself with imagine and fitting in with what I thought was beautiful (societies beautiful). I completely agree with what you said. We are all our own beautiful and we definitely shouldnt be comparing ourselves to others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah society puts a lot of pressure on us to look a certain way but in my opinion if we try to look like what society considers beautiful we’ll just be unhappy forever. Not comparing yourself is definitely the way to go.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I love this advice! 🤍 I go through phases where I’m like I don’t like the way I look and feel like I need to work harder to get there and sometimes I’m just at peace with the way I look so this is really good advice for me 🤍
    Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I feel like the older I became the more I was truly like…. Here I am world so take it or leave it. LOL
    Seriously learnig to appreciate everything about yourself can be a struggle but once you do. You are home free.
    cheers to another great write up.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Nice post. One should do what he or she loves. You should wear what you are comfortable in rather than wearing what you don’t like just to follow the trends or because you are worried about what others will think about you.

    Liked by 1 person

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