Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
I recently wanted Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery and wanted to write a review for it. The movie is a sequel for Knives Out, a movie I watched a while ago and thoroughly enjoyed. If you haven’t seen it yet, I would absolutely recommend it. However, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery was a different story. Here are my thoughts on it.
Disclaimer: The rest of the post contains spoilers for Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery. If you would like to avoid spoilers for this movie please don’t read ahead.
Plot
Hated it. Awful. The plot had so much so much potential but it went south almost instantly. The start was long and unnecessarily boring. It dragged on for what felt like forever. The second half moved much faster but led to a number of plot holes. I wish I could say the end was great and tied everything together but it just did not. It made everything so much worse. The writers/director was trying to give us a super satisfying ending but it was just the opposite of that.
One of the biggest issues I had with this movie was how insanely unrealistic it was. The reason I had enjoyed the original Knives Out movie was because it was so clever and realistic. It was very down to earth. This one just strayed too far from he original and got rid of everything we loved from the original Knives Out movie. I get that the director wanted to bring out his own vision but maybe he should have made his own movie instead of ruining the Knives Out legacy.
The dialogues were so trash as well. I mean, the stupid pop culture references in an attempt to please both Gen z/young millennials as well as the older generations were just sad. One or two pop culture references would have been fun. A movie filled with them is just annoying. It gives away the fact that no time or effort was put into the script. Clearly, the movie was just made to make as many people watch it as possible to rake in as much money as possible.
Don’t get me wrong, I got the satire, the references etc. I know Miles was supposed to be like another formerly richest man in the world that bought a social media site because he got tired of being bullied on it by teenagers. And I know Duke was supposed to be like Joe Rogan et al. And then there’s the typical airhead influencer and the politician that pretends like she cares but she just wants the votes. I get all that. It just didn’t hit in my opinion. Like I said, there was so much potential. But Rian Johnson butchered it.
Characters
Again, just awful. I hated almost every character. They had so many famous faces in the movie. All of whom are fantastic actors and actresses. And somehow they still managed to ruin it. None of the actors and actresses properly matched their roles except Janelle Monàe. She brought both her characters to life and played them perfectly. She was one of the very few good things about this movie.
The character of Detective Benoit Blanc (played by Daniel Craig) got absolutely butchered in this movie. He was the main character and the detective in the last Knives Out movie too (where he did a great job!). But he said and did things in this movie I could never have pictured him doing. He was a totally different person than he was in Knives Out. If he was “the greatest detective in the world” as the movie claimed, why was Janelle Monàe’s character doing all the detective work?? And why was she better at it than he was? Just so ridiculous and far-fetched.
Overall
In the end, all I can say is that this movie was incredibly mid. The plot was mid, the characters were mid, the directing was mid, the writing was mid. Just everything was so horribly done. And the saddest part is that it could have been something great. The plot has so much potential, they had fantastic actors and actresses. This could have been even better than Knives Out. It could have been one of the biggest movies of this year. It was like they found the needle in the haystack and then threw it back into the hay.
I was already not a fan of Rian Johnson because of his Star Wars movie. But I thought I would give him a chance. Obviously that was a mistake. And now I will be avoiding any movie he has anything to do with till the end of time. If I could un-watch this movie I would. That’s two hours and nineteen minutes of my life I will never get back.
I rarely write such harsh reviews. If you have read most of my reviews they are pretty positive even when I dislike something. I always try to find some good. But this was beyond that. I could barely find anything I liked about it. And I would not recommend this ridiculous, far-fetched, wannabe murder mystery movie to anyone ever. I’ll give it a 1/5 simply because of Janelle Monàe’s performance. So, I guess that is my Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery review. I’m sorry if it was kind of a downer but I wanted to be honest. If you still would like to see Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery for yourself, it is available on Netflix.
PS. My sister told me to add that she watched about 10 minutes of the movie and left the room because she didn’t want to waste her time. She could tell it was going to suck. Lucky her.
Have you seen Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery? What did you think of it? Did you enjoy it or did you hate it as much as I did?
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