What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?
This is today’s WordPress prompt and I don’t generally answer those but I felt like I was going to talk about red flags on another post anyway. So may as well. To be fair, I was going to talk about my own red flags not the red flags of others but whatever. Close enough lol. So, I think these are the main personality traits in others that raises a red flag with me:
- People who are cruel to animals. This instantly tells me everything I need to know about them.
- When people are unnecessarily rude to others. Especially to staff that are just doing their job. I’ve seen so many people be rude to servers etc when there’s no reason to do so.
- When people are constantly selfish but expect everyone else to be selfless.
- When people are negative all the time. I’m not an optimist but I try my best to be positive as much as possible. And when people constantly just point out negative stuff it’s annoying and says a lot about them.
- When people hate things just because they don’t understand them or because they’re different than the norm.
- When people speak the loudest but never listen. This is a huge red flag for me. Intelligent and good people take the time to listen to others and understand their pov.
- People who feel like they need to one up everyone else. We all know these people. You tell them you got a necklace on sale and they tell you they got ten for free.
- People who like carrots. Not a personality trait, just a huge red flag in general… #carrotssuck (kidding!)
Now You!
Do you agree with the traits I listed? Which one would you add? Let me know in the comments below because I would love to hear from you. Or simply stop by and say hi!
Edit: I’ll probably not post tomorrow so just a heads up!
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Excellent post, Pooja! You covered all the main topics😊🥰👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Thank you so much! 😊🥰
My pleasure, Pooja😊🥰🙏🙏🙏🙏
Great post, Pooja, and a well thought out list (carrots?).
Thanks so much. Lol yeah, I just really hate carrots.
Carrots …. hahahaha <3
Lol, they’re just so gross I can’t 😅
Heh, you’re like my husband in a few ways, sleeping late and now the anti-carrots! LOL! 🙂
It’s funny though, when I send him out for carrots, he’ll get the loose ones with the greens on top and is so proud of himself for getting me the “Bugs Bunny carrots.”
Lol, those are the type of carrots I like because they remind me of cartoon carrots! I still don’t like the taste but they look cute haha.
Loving this post, Pooja! You hit on so many important things to notice in a person that are also a no for me. Love that you added in that last one to lighten things up a little too! <3
Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed that!
I was in top administration for most of my working years and you can usually sum up a person on their first meeting with you but it pays to hold back first impressions until you’ve had a chance to observe them in action and listen to their philosophy of life before making a final judgment.
That makes a lot of sense, not everyone makes a good first impression but some people are really great once you get to know them.
Canceling plans
Yes, especially when they do it continuously and last minute.
I don’t mind that because life happens, but if it’s at the very last minute and the plans were something expensive, like front row concert tickets, so not cool.
Number 3 is my pet peeve, I know so many folks who just expect you to be this absolutely altruistic angel, giving and forgiving all the time, I am not a fan of those, big time, I mean big red flag.
Yup, that’s a huge red flag. It’s okay to expect something but you can’t always expect things and never give.
I agree, I learned to see them recently.
Me too, and now I notice them a lot more.
Ha-ha, exactly
oh yes……….
Glad you agree haha…
I like carrots.
Huge red flag right there…
I thought it was only fair that you knew.
I will be avoiding you as I do carrots from here on.
Fair.
Well written Pooja ♥️ totally agree with the 5th and 6th points 👍🏼
Thanks so much ❤️
100% agree with your list except the last post. Don’t be hatin’ on Rebecca Rabbit for liking carrots 🥕😂 (A Peppa Pig reference)
P.S I hate 1-uppers more than you do. I hate them 10x more than you. And if you hate them 11x more than I do then obviously I hate them 12x more! .-. These people are what I like to call the 1-UP mushrooms 🍄 The kind of mushroom that Mario eats and grows really big, like how a person’s ego is inflated.
Lol I love Peppa Pig! Still hate carrots though 😜
I know how out feel, one uppers are the worst, I can’t stand being around them at all 😡
I don’t know if this counts as a “one upper” but what if someone tries too hard to be like you? That’s a red flag too.
True, that’s a big red flag. That’s happened to me before and it’s never turned out okay.
It’s scary because they put you on a pedestal only to knock you down. In both instances I thought I had a friend for life because they “love bomb” you with compliments, then they go for the kill. And I never understood what I did to trigger that. My husband kept reminding me, “You did nothing.” (One drank too much, and the other was just a very disturbed individual who put so many people down; she thrived on hurting others actually).
Yeah, “love bombing” is quite common especially for narcissists and it’s a method of control. Unfortunately, when we’re not aware of that we can take it as someone being kind or admiring you. It’s really not you, it’s just the way they are. Nothing you did right or wrong. But it can be traumatising to experience such a thing.
Totally agree on all your points! It’s so helpful to be aware of red flags, because it can save you a lot of trouble and heartache.
Thank you so much! I so agree, with someone people you just know they’re no good and it’s best to stay away from them.
I also agree with your points Pooja. I like the one where you said you got a necklace for sale and they say they got 10 for free. So funny, they are people like this all over the world. Though we all do have personality traits, I do believe that some people do have them worse than others.
Thanks so much. Yes, there are one uppers everywhere and it’s best to avoid them. Some people definitely have more negative traits even though we all tend to have a few.
I agree with all of your traits, Pooja, but not about carrots. Soft, seasoned carrots in a pot roast, or carrot cake. Mmmm 😂
Nooo, carrots don’t belong in cake 😅🥕
Have you tried carrot cake?
I have but I hated it 😩
Oh, I’m sorry, Pooja. Didn’t mean to rile you up.
Oh no, that’s fine, I rarely get riled up these days 🤭
Good. 😂❤️❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️
Pooja… the last one made me read over 🤣
all these points are valid to raise that flag… the carrot one is questionable 😋
great share🤍
Haha I’m just a carrot hater 🥕🤭
Thanks so much 😊
All of the above, though not sure about the carrot one!
The carrot one is huge red flag for me lol jk!
I agree with everything
Except carrot one
I love carrots
Gajar ka halwa, gajar ka juice 🥕🥕
Gajar ki sabji 😁 🥕
My red flag is how people treat women
Especially their wives. Like if they are in public, and if they are not allowing her to speak or they are showing dominance, that’s a red flag.
Smoking and drinking, I’m against that and I don’t like people who smoke, drink.
People who break rules, like for instance they are driving on the wrong side. That clearly means they don’t care for rules, time and safety of others. Also like I hate clowns who do circus on roads, just to show themselves manly. Poor fools, don’t know what real man is 😂
People who waste water, or litter or spit or throw trash on red are another red flags according to me. That shows they don’t respect the earth, environment and nature in general.
You’ve also pointed out how people don’t let speak, that’s a red flag too. I mean, that shows they want to prove themselves right always and you cannot reason with them.
The burn you caused with dislike for carrots is deep. I may need carrot ointment for the wounds.
That’s a huge red flag, carrots are awful and gross 😜
I don’t care about drinking and smoking unless it’s excessive but agree very much with the rest. Men who need to be aggressive or treat people/women badly just show the world how insecure they are. And those aren’t men, those are little boys because real men show kindness towards everyone 😀
Gajar k achaar!!
I forgot to mention
To be fair, everything tastes good as achar so I can’t complain about carrot achar 😅
My mother make
Gajar + shaljam ( turnip) + gobi (cauliflower) achar
Then
We have gajar in one more thing, I wonder how to describe it
It’s mustard water with carrots and potato.
Very interesting, I’ve never had that but it sounds very healthy. My mum makes the achar with green beans, carrots and mirch.
Then eat that aachar and stay happy 🙂
I need it in juice or smoothie form 😩
😅
Cruelty towards animals and unwarranted rudeness are, unfortunately, becoming all too common. The red flags you’ve highlighted are not just simple observations but a deeper reflection of the values and morals that underpin our society.
You’re so right, we see this more and more in these days which is so sad. Thanks so much.
Greta post… I think the red flags that send me running, are numbers 3-4. Selfish people naturally suck the life out of me, because I’m a giver. And negative people just drive me up a wall..I try to keep my mental space healthy..one has enough darkness of their own to deal with. 😂
Thanks so much. Same here, I’m a giver and have had people take advantage of that before. It sucks so now I have to avoid them. Lol true 🥲
Keep avoiding them. I do try to set boundaries now.. but I find it difficult. 🙏
Yeah, it’s not easy for people who are naturally givers.
First, I find the invasive prompts merely an AI program being used to profile us users and sell our information off to others and therefore I ignore them all together and wisely follow my own internalized prompts. Since WordPress’s addition of prompts, I’m often solicited by publishers, but I ignore as well.
That being said, for me, there are a multitude of scenarios daily where red flags jump out all the time… now, that I’m authentic and much more self aware. In my younger years, I was very dismissive and deaf of those nuance that spoke volumes. Today, I pretty much let other people set the precedence of my relationship value and with them. I always note those they speak the worst of an absent party may well be speaking about me in another conversation I wasn’t invited to. I trust in what people do more that what they claim they’ve done or do.
I’m pretty sure most prompts and AI related stuff is stealing our information, content, human mannerisms etc. It’s pretty creepy. That being said, I don’t mind them learning my red flags lol.
I really like that you mentioned that those that speak ill of others when they aren’t around will do the same about you because you’re so right. I’ve seen that gossips only speak negatively about others and when you’re out of earshot they will do the same for you.
True character can be masked but people often reveal themselves whenever they feel overly confident and comfortable.
Absolutely, that’s often when you see the real them.
Exactly 💯
Thanks so much 🙏
Lol! I looove carrots Pooja.
I think my main red flag is lying. And I know everyone lies, but here’s the thing. People can sometimes tell you they lied to their boss about something or they lied to their brother or sister to get what they want. That is super concerning on so many levels. If they’ve grown comfortable enough to boast about lying then whoever is being told is next on the chopping block.
Lol nooo carrots are gross… jk!
That makes sense, we all lie but some people get pleasure out of it and do it constantly.
My biggest red flag is racism. Then it’s bigotry, nationalism, facism, patriotism and Trumpism. They all go together.
I’m an internationalist. One world.
I’m an environmentalist so thoughtlessness towards nature is a big one.
Then it’s religion. I see it as another power structure and controlling institution. The worst invention we ever invented.The sooner we jettison that the better.
That’s fair, we all have our preferences.
I like carrots 🥕😂
But I agree with the rest of your list completely. 👍🏼
Haha thanks 😅
😄😄😄
instinct
That’s fair lol
as we learned from scotty, the ship felt wrong
I LOVE THIS! And thank you for putting animals on the top of the list. I love you for that!
I’m a carrot person, so don’t hold that against me, ha-ha! 😉
Re #6 is the hardest one for me. I don’t like being “talked at” and have no patience with those types of people. I am working on it though. I truly believe we can help people evolve in a positive way. Sometimes they actually “listen.” It worked a few times for me, winning over the babblers and encouraging them to be good listeners. 🙂
Thanks! I feel like people not liking animals or worse being mean to them is a huge red flag.
Haha that’s fair, I know most people love carrots I just can’t no matter how much I try 😫
It’s worth trying. From my experience I try to talk to people who don’t really listen. Sometimes they listen and sometimes they don’t. If they don’t I just let it go and if they do that’s great 🙂
I agree with you on the first seven points, Pooja.
Also, I admire you for taking on the prompt. When I read it, I was put off, right away – possibly, because I have seen too many of those red flags in people in the recent past.
We need to talk about carrots, though, because I like them and won’t have it to be judged about it! *lol*
Thanks so much. Yeah, I had a lot more but shared the first few that came to mind. It’s sad that so many people have such deal breaking red flags.
Lol, nooo carrots are absolutely disgusting!
You can dislike carrots as much as you want, I’m still not going to unfollow you. (I’m also not going to make you eat them; more for me – win-win!)
Haha, it’s a perfect win for us both!
Okay, here’s another big red flag — Women who put themselves down. (Because it’s only a matter of time before they will put you down too!) Self depreciation is very close to jealousy. When women start pointing out their own flaws, it’s because they lack confidence. They don’t appreciate who they are and want better. This is very unhealthy. And because they don’t like how they look, they will look for flaws in YOU — sad to say!
URGH! I hate that!!! (I once went to a concert with a girl who out of the blue started making fun of another girl. After the show, I made a vow to never hang out with that girl again. And I stuck to it!)
We’re all beautiful in our own ways and it’s important to recognize that. I’m not saying you can’t enhance yourself by exercise or make up or hair or clothes — but rather appreciate that you are special and unique.
That is why I LOVED when you wrote that you are grateful for your ass. I said to myself, “Now here is a woman who is confident; and someone I could be friends with in real life (if we didn’t live an ocean apart!!)”
Women who are confident make the BEST friends! They are the ones who lift others up. They are the thinkers. They are positive. They give other women the most compliments.
Confidence is the number one good quality of a friend. Anti-confidence is a major red flag. Avoid these types in order to not get hurt because they will blindside you during your vulnerable moments.
That’s what I meant by the negative thing and I agree it’s a huge red flag! All they see is flaws and they pull you down with them. In general, I think it’s important to surround yourself with positive people and not negative ones because our company affects us too.
I’m forever grateful for my ass lol! And yeah, confident people make the best friends and I love confident women because they pull you up and make you feel better about yourself. Confidence is contagious but so is anti-confidence.
I can relate to all of these, especially #7. I’ve known way too many of these types. Also, those that criticize other to make themselves look good. Ugh.
Thanks so much. Yes, that’s a big one too. If you have to make others feel bad to make yourself feel better you need to take a good hard look at why that is.
You’re welcome, Pooja.
This carrot thing is the first we’ll disagree on😂
#CarrotsRule
#carrotsstillsuck
It’s the hill I’m willing to die on 😅
I definitely do not agree with the carrots bit. We may come to blows on that one😂. But yeah, I agree with pretty much all your list.
I used to skirt negative people, but there is almost always quite the baggage behind that negativity. I’m more accommodating to their negativity now, but I do love to keep my positive peeps as close as can get to balance it out.🪷🖐🏾
The carrots one is a hill I’m willing to die on 😅
I think that’s a good balance. Protect your own positivity too.
I completely agree with these traits, oddly enough I’m seeing them more and more and great way to use the prompt!
PS. Omg the carrots threw me off and I burst out laughing 😹
Me too, that’s so odd. Like I see so many more red flags now and I don’t know if it’s because I’m more aware now or because people suck more now lol 😅
Haha, my hate for carrots seeps into all aspects of my life 😜
Closed-mindedness and dishonesty. Passive aggressive, too. A big turn=off.
Bingo on all three! 100 percent agree.
Yup, agree with all of those.
agreed, although i neither like or hate carrots haha. But I can relate to number two, the rude people i did encounter in a previous job, or got snappy when I couldnt give them what they wanted, they probably forgot that im just the employee.
Yeah, people forget that employees are just doing their job and don’t have all the answers or solutions. It sucks when people treat people badly especially in service jobs.
very true, just gotta do the best to handle the situation in the moment
Exactly, that’s the best way to handle it.
I agree, except for the carrots – I love carrots! How to cook soup or stew without good carrots?!!! The one I would add is anyone who is possessive. That’s a huge red flag for me, since it indicates someone who is probably also abusive. Scary stuff! I also don’t like people who are gross just for the sake of being gross, ie talking about inappropriate subjects. Well, no thank you! Have some respect for me and for yourself!
Ok. That was from me. I’m not sure why it didn’t show my name!
I assumed it was you just by the comment and I was right haha!
You add other veggies in, pumpkins are a good replacement!
True, a lot of abusive relationships start with one partner being possessive and it escalates from there.
Yeah, people being gross makes me cringe!
I think it’s a cogent list. I mean, people who are negative all the time–anymore, I can’t take the push against my own quantity of energy. But, shucks, I’m sorry: I like carrots.
Thanks so much. Haha nope, carrots are awful and nothing can convince me otherwise.
LOVE your list pooja! with the exception of the carrots. 🙂 <3
Haha thanks, nooo carrots are awful! 😅
Number 4 rang a chord with me, only because I have been that negative person. Most, not all, of these personality traits do not come out of thin air. There is always a reason that people are the way they are. In my case, I grew up with a parent that suffered from severe depression and bipolar mood swings. There was negativity abound in my home.
This is a tough nut to crack because many people who have this tendency do not have many friends, are lonely and isolated and this only feeds the negativity. It is rare that anyone in your life is going to sit down with you and explain that this negativity is pushing people away and so many just move through their lives alone and bitter, without a clue that their outlook IS the problem.
If you are lucky enough to have this insight, it is another matter to turn it around. Positive feedback from others is rare since your life to date has been lacking in any real human contact. It’s easy to just slide back down into despair. It’s been over 30 years since I had my epiphany and I still fight these demons every day.
Carrots are OK as long as they are not overcooked. 😀
You’re right, a lot of these are a result of the environment you grew up in. Or as a result of trauma of some sort. I was once the negative person too and I’ve tried so hard to change. That’s one of the reasons I avoid overly negative people because I don’t want to slide back to being that way and lose all the progress I’ve made.
Lol, it’s a total no for me with carrots 😅
Hi Pooja: I have just posted a reply to this but for some reason, it is identifying me as “Anonymous”. I was signed in to WP when I sent the reply. Anyway, mine was the comment about Number 4.
Thanks for letting me know, not sure why that’s happening sorry about that.
Yes I agree with those red flags and 3 & 6 easy to bump into in real life.
My red flags are;
1. People who take advantage of people younger than them.
2. People who care mostly about how they feel but never even consider how they make other people feel.
3. People who are not willing to make themselves better in any area of their lives.
Thanks so much. I agree with yours too. So many people take advantage of those younger than them. And many dismiss other peoples feelings.
You are welcome and thank you.
You’re very welcome.
I think you covered my main ones, though I like carrot people. 😂 I’d add people who drive aggressively, especially when they’re around cyclists or other vulnerable road users.
Lol nooo why is everyone suddenly a carrot fan 😂
So true, some people drive so carelessly and aggressively. They could seriously hurt someone.
Carrots FTW! 😂
Yes, very true. 🤬
Those are all red flags for sure and I have one word for those people.
……….. NEXT❣️
Exactly, thank you next!
You’re right to question people who are cruel to animals, most turn out to be homicidal maniacs 🤣.
For sure, I hear a lot of serial killers start out like that 😳
Hey you got it all covered for me and some I didn’t even think about.
Thanks, I guess we see eye to eye on this.
I was 100% on board until the last one lol I love carrots! 😂 enjoyed the read
Lol nooo, carrots are awful 😅
Denial
Yeah, a lot of people have that one.
As long as you don’t abuse, torture or are mean to carrots I can still follow you. Have you tried this recipe for carrots? https://www.theflavorbender.com/easy-carrot-curry-recipe-sri-lankan/
I’ll try it but can’t promise I’ll like it lol.
I agree with all of these, minus #8 😆
Haha to each their own 😅
There could be a number of reasons people are rude to others. Some inherit it from their parents, others are insecure. For me the biggest red flag is how the person talks behind their back. Some people wear masks of goodness but their actions sooner or later reveal their true selves.
I agree, a lot of people learn it from their parents or have old traumas. True, what someone says when you’re not around shows their true colours.
I like carrots. But I agree with the rest.
Thanks so much. To each their own haha.
I love carrots 🥺
Agree with the rest of your list! I hate when people only want to talk and not listen. I went on a trip with such a friend and I went crazy in 3 days. She spoke 98% of the time we talked and it was so frustrating cause she would just cut me short when I tried to talk.
Red flags –
1. People who don’t own up to their patterns/behaviours.
2. People who play the victim/martyr card all the damn time.
Nooo, carrots are gross 😅
Thanks! I so agree, some people just make everything about themselves and it’s exhausting. I’ve had a friend like that too but glad she’s no longer in my life.
Agree with both of those.
OMG! I love carrots lol
Nooo, why they’re so bad haha
Cruelty to animals, rudeness, and negativity were great choices. Name droppers and place droppers bug me.
Thanks and that one bugs me too.
I don’t think you missed any, these are my opinions:
People that claim to be health nuts and pro mental health or whatever but only for their own gain. They’re constantly judgmental and annoying.
People who are anticulture and anti religion because those hurt people, especially marginalized identities, but support things that hurt people.
People that act like a certain level of awareness and activism isn’t enough and to be a real activist or do something is to go march outside or go in congress.
Anti Americans that are American that are too depressed and disillusionistic to do ANYTHING, even talk, about things that affect them.
People telling me not to judge people for what they’re like and who they are but trash talk people and say “that’s in human nature to talk crap/or whatever they say.” If it’s not a real problem, there’s no reason to talk about it.
People that constantly talk about their personality in person like they’re a character list and try to tell me how they’re like instead letting me observe them.
People that act like all countries expect people to change their language and culture and assimilate and that’s not just the US…
Last red flag:
People that only listen to handsome and pretty people for everything and expect people to automatically be nice to them and cool to them and help them improve in life. Also, the people that vote for a president or similar because and think if they vote for particular people then they’d automatically get their privilege and riches… shame…
Yup, nodding along to all of these. A lot of “health” influencers are like the first one you described and they’re unbearable. They know nothing about real health, claim they’re experts and just try to push their sponsored products on their followers.
I’ve met some activists like the ones you described too. If you don’t agree with them on every single thing and participate in every single thing they shun you and act like you’re the problem. Different types of activism exists and people have their limitations.
That last one makes me so mad. Especially when people support their favourite famous people just because they’re good looking. Like they can be the worst people doing the worst stuff and people will still stan them which is so annoying.
For me, it is those people who are too sweet, dominating and arrogant and who treat people below them badly.
Yes, those are a big red flag. We all know people like that.
HARD AGREE with the selfish one. I’d also add people who are racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic. Unfortunately I can’t add ableist to the list because almost everyone is due to ignorance so I can’t really blame them for that since they probably don’t know better.
Yes, those are definitely huge red flags. It’s true, most people are ableist without realising it. I wish we had more resources to combat that and to teach people about ableism.
ME TOO. I’ve tried to reach out to numerous places like school educators, the news, and newspapers to try and do just that but ableism just doesn’t seem to be something people care as much about trying to educate people about to help it stop.
That’s so sad. Educating students when they’re young about ableism would helps so much.
💯
I think my biggest flag is that I was brought up in a narcissistic family. So the kind of people that I feel familiar with can also be narcissistic. So I am very cautious. Whenever I feel that I have detected many familiar traits, like self aggrandizing, love bombing etc., I feel that I may need more time to check out the person. Of course many normal people can say boastful things or love bomb a person. Normal people make mistakes too and can behave like narcissists. So it is an interesting thing I have to engage in whenever I meet people. LOL.
It’s so true that when you grow up in an unstable environment such as with narcissists you look for that when you grow up too. That’s why people who grew up with abusive parents are much more likely to be in abusive relationships. I think the main difference between actual narcissists and normal people with some narcissistic traits is that real narcissists don’t feel empathy or understand that what they’re doing is wrong.
I mean normal people can behave like a narcissist from time to time and even normal people can be a little narcissistic.
True, a lot of people have some narcissistic traits even if they aren’t full narcissists.
This is a good lis! Selfish people are a huge red flag for me.
Thanks! Agreed, they’re a huge red flag.
i completely agree with all those red flags. Super cool post!!
Thanks so much!
Well, I think those are all red flags (except for liking carrots lol). I will add 2. 1 is people who tend to quickly leap to conclusions or assume things are a certain way based on very limmited information or because that is “the way it’s supposed to be” without actually knowing what they are talking about. Basically people who can’t admit what they are unsure of or that there is always some uncertainty in life.
Another red flag (so number 2) is people who frequently use logical fallacies in language or are otherwise often manipulative, -even when seemingly otherwise fair minded and caring people. I am very independent minded but I also value humility as I try to be these things too, not always successfully mind you and that’s why ocasionally doing these last two things isn’t a red flag to me, but doing them regularly is. Your carrot red flag had me laughing out loud btw!
Very much agree with both things you mentioned especially that first one because I’ve met so many people like that who just jump to conclusions with little to no information. And it’s so frustrating talking to them.
I don’t mind the odd carrot shock horror but with you on a lot of these
Haha thanks.
Welcome 🙂