The Liebster Award #15

Thank you!

I want to thank Sana and Ashar for nominating me for this award. They have an amazing blog about lifestyle, health, travel and much more. Be sure to check out their blog by clicking here. 

RULES

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  2. Answer the 11 questions given to you.
  3. Nominate 5-11 other bloggers.
  4. Ask your nominees 11 questions.
  5. Notify your nominees once you have uploaded your post.

QUESTIONS

What are the best three phrases to describe yourself?
Works better under pressure, quite ambitious, tries to be kind to everyone.
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Has your personality changed since childhood? What’s the reason?
Yes, of course. I think everyone changes over time especially during your teenage years. I think it’s important to change- that’s the only way you can grow.
When you’re upset or angry, what’s the worst thing that you could do?
I see red when I’m angry so I could do some pretty bad things if I was angry enough. I have worked on it though and I’m not as much of an angry person anymore but I do still occasionally get very angry.
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What are you most proud of and why?
This blog because I have worked so hard on it to achieve what I have.
What’s the biggest regret of your life, and why?
Not starting to blog earlier. I wish I had started way earlier.

If you ever win a lottery for $1 Million, what’s the first thing you’d do?
I’m a giant nerd so I would probably invest it lol!
What’s your strongest and most visible personality trait?
I would say my kindness and empathy.
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What’s the foremost thing you’d teach your child as a life lesson, and why?
To be empathetic and kind to all living beings.
What makes you the happiest and why?
Blogging- it’s my outlet for everything.
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Do you think you’re good at overcoming your weaknesses? If yes, mention one strategy.
Yes, I try really hard to change and improve myself.
If you’d go for a world tour which destination you’d go first and why?
Europe- as a history major there are a lot of historical places I want to see.
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My Nominees

If you’re reading this post and feel as though this may be something you want to participate in please consider yourself nominated and use the same questions I did- I would love to read your take on them! And if you don’t want to do an entire post dedicated to it you can leave the answers in the comments below.
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When Things End

Anger

Frustration

Pain

On one side

Relief

Happiness

Guilt

On the other.

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Bye Bye 2018

So much has happened this year I thought I would talk about it in the last post of 2018. Firstly, I finally got to do a bunch of History courses at university which was amazing because last year was great and I got to do some fun random courses but I’m here for the history and I was so happy to do a majority of history courses this year!

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I also was able to travel more which was so fun and if you’ve been following me for a while now you know travelling has been one of my biggest goals.

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I tried so many new things which all gave me crazy anxiety but it was also super fun and exciting which is also something I really wanted to do in 2018 and was able to achieve!

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One of my biggest achievements was reaching 5000 followers and finally being able to learn how to balance university and blogging. I am so happy that so many of you chose to follow this blog and all of you guys are so sweet and interactive I love hearing your thoughts in the comments it always makes my day!

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I also had a great year mentally and emotionally. I’ve always had trouble expressing myself but I think I’m finally getting better at it which is helping with my anxiety. I am also learning to deal with my anxiety better and learning how to do things even if they do make me anxious because my anxiety should not be the one in control.

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I also ate a healthier plant based diet which was something I had been trying to do for a really long time.

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What do I want from 2019? Well to keep doing all these things that are making me feel better and to do more things like these and to try and remove as much negativity from my life as possible. (I’ll be posting my 2019 resolutions soon so look out for that for more details on my goals for 2019!)

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Emotional Ups And Downs: What To Do To Manage Them

From Give it a Spin

“Knowing how to manage emotional ups and downs is one of the key skills we must work on, regardless of whether we regularly visit the psychologist’s office or not.”

On the other hand, to assume that we can not modulate our emotions is to limit ourselves in an unnecessary way, especially when these tend to change quickly and we become very sensitive to what happens to us.

In this article we will see a series of tips to know what to do in the face of emotional ups and downs, adopt strategies against instability of this type, and adapt ourselves in the best possible way to the environment and to life in general.

What are the emotional ups and downs?

The existence of emotions makes sense, among other things, because they do not arise through our conscious control. Thanks to them, we do not have to go through a long period of reflection to know how to position ourselves before an idea or event; simply, we adopt an attitude automatically, and sometimes in a matter of fractions of a second.

However, in some cases the dynamic nature of the emotions can become emotional ups and downs, which appear when minimal changes make the mood change completely.

This emotional instability cannot only generate discomfort in the person who experiences it first-hand; It can also negatively affect their way of socializing, since it facilitates the appearance of misunderstandings and communication failures. Therefore, it is normal to look for solutions, either by looking for a psychologist (for cases in which the quality of life is worn out) or by changing certain routines from day to day.

How to manage emotional instability

Below we will see several ideas to apply in case you are not attending psychological treatment, although reading them and trying to follow them by oneself can not replace the work of a mental health professional.

1. Look at what situations feed emotional ups and downs

Does this emotional instability appear in any situation, or does it remain linked to a specific context or scope? The answer to this question can give you clues about the extent to which ups and downs are facilitated by elements of your environment.

2. Learn about Bipolar Disorder

As with any type of psychological disorder, Bipolar Disorder can only be diagnosed by mental health professionals through personalized evaluations. However, the simple fact of reading about it can help us understand what happens to us, comparing its symptoms associated with what happens in that case.

Specifically, Bipolar Disorder is characterized by stages of mania, in which the euphoria and extreme optimism and motivation prevail, with another depressive type. These stages are usually long (several days in a row, or weeks), and the symptoms are very extreme and relatively independent of what happens to us.

So, if the emotional ups and downs are not extreme and do not last more than a day, there is no reason to think that this may be the phenomenon that affects us, while in the opposite case it is advisable to attend a psychological evaluation, even if note that it does not have to be Bipolar Disorder. Also, keep in mind that there is a tendency to identify with the symptoms of mental disorders, even though this relationship really does not exist or is exaggerated.

3. Sleep well and eat properly

In many cases, emotional instability is due to frustration fueled by poor physical condition. People who can not afford the energy cost their daily life demands tend to have higher levels of anxiety, which causes them to react in a more extreme way to negative stimuli.

For that reason, to sleep the necessary thing and to take care of the feeding will favor that it does not happen that deficit of energy, which is reflected in the emotional state.

4. Learn to surround yourself with the right people

There are times when emotional ups and downs arise from flawed relational dynamics, perhaps because of conflicts with another person, memories associated with someone and that we would prefer to forget or simply because the predominant attitudes in a group do us no good.

That is why it is important to be clear that if a relationship does not make us feel good, it is totally legitimate to cut it off, even temporarily until we recover.

5. Do not force the appearance of other emotions

If you try to “force yourself” to feel differently, that will only cause you frustration, since it will not work. Instead, it is much more useful to indirectly influence how you feel by exposing yourself to environments that convey the way you want to feel.

Anyway, in the case of emotional highs and lows this can not be the definitive solution either, since it can only be effective when the sudden change has already appeared that you want to avoid that is repeated constantly.

6. Take some time to disconnect

Entering a phase in which the ideas that obsess us and the environments that bombard us with reasons to worry are no longer important, is very positive, since it allows us to recover our strength and take up those daily challenges with renewed energy.
In order to be, change places, so that your physical environment does not remind you of what makes you experience stress.

7. Go to the psychologist

If you can not adequately manage emotional instability, do not blame yourself; The field of emotions works through processes that do not depend on our voluntary control, and we can only influence it indirectly, modifying our way of relating to the context. In the latter, psychological therapy works very well.

So, it is important to look for a psychologist or team of psychologists and let yourself be advised and helped. Working from the consultation sessions and through the routines indicated by the professional we will be doing what is necessary to improve significantly in a matter of weeks.

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How To Appreciate The Introverts In Your Life

Don’t force them to do stuff- most introverts can only do so much going out/socialising before they need to recharge again so don’t force them to do stuff. If they tell you they can’t or don’t want to they really mean it so don’t guilt them about not hanging out with you!

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Listen- most introverts don’t talk to people a lot unless they know you pretty well- then they never shut up! When introverts try to talk to you, you should really listen because you probably mean a lot to them and what they’re telling you is probably much more then just small talk.

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Don’t guilt them- introverts tend to be very sensitive and if you guilt them about stuff it’s going to really mess with them. It’s wrong to guilt anyone into doing stuff but introverts tend to take it harder then others do.

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Be there for them- sometimes introverts have a hard time expressing their feelings so even if they don’t talk to you about it but seem kind of down or something you should try to be there for them. Introverts try to act like they’re okay but a lot of the time we’re just screaming in our heads.

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Why Is Failure Important And How To Benefit From It

By Stefan

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill

Failure can be a great a great motive to succeed indeed, yet we often get discouraged when we
fail at something. Moreover, we are even afraid of the possibility of failure itself. Regardless of
what we’re talking about – it could be a bad grade at school, criticism we get from our boss, or
something as trivial as impossibility to find a date at bbw online dating sites – it seems like we’ve
subconsciously adopted the claim that failures are wrong and not socially accepted and we even
treat it as an axiom of a kind. The key is, however, to embrace and even cherish your failures,
learn from them, and then keep on trying no matter what.

There are numerous tips and success stories that we’ve learned from iconic figures that could
certainly teach us the thing or two about the importance of failure as a means of achieving own
success. Still, we are going to share just some of them, which are in our opinion the most
effective ones.

#1 Face your fears

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

This Paulo Coelho quote pretty much sums the entire issue up. Fear is often wrapped up in false
security that is actually a jail that doesn’t allow us to make any moves. The most important thing
about the fear is to learn that breaking free perhaps won’t result in the desired outcome, well not
at first, but once you’ve hit the rock bottom you’ll most certainly survive and then you can dust
yourself off and move on.

#2 Understanding the situation

“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. ”
Coco Chanel

Okay, so you’ve failed. Big deal! You can now start again by assessing the situation and learning
from your mistakes, which are by the way – human. The Earth is not going to stop revolving
around the Sun, and you don’t have the luxury to cry over the past mistakes for too long. At least
not when you can try to do it all over again.

#3 Enjoy your failure

“Together, they would watch everything that was so carefully planned collapse, and they would
smile at the beauty of destruction.” Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

Forbes contributor, Michael Lindenmayer, actually suggests that you should organize a real
feast, with drinks and food and entourage of your closest friends and then enjoy a constructive
contemplation about your failure. Besides sounding like a fun, this can be a great way to take a
different perspective on your mistakes that will give you a fresh approach on what to do next.

#4 Move on

“A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions– as attempts to find out
something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.” Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche was right. You should simply learn your lessons, get up and move on and this is pretty
much the entire philosophy behind it!

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Urghhh

So the building I’m renting in has decided we have to fumigate everything which means I will have to basically move all my stuff then clean everything then move in everything again. It’s so inconvenient and I’m not sure how we’ll even do that!

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I just unpacked all my stuff and now I have to pack it again?? Do they realise how difficult that is?? We have to remove everything including the things in the cabinets on top of everything etc…

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And they’re not offering us any storage place or an alternative place to stay because we can’t enter the house for a few hours or use anything without cleaning it first and we can’t clean the whole house in a few hours!

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So I’m going to have to find a place to stay for the night. I understand that they probably need to do this (although we have no bugs) but they should really be more accommodating!

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Thanks for reading and don’t forget to like, follow, share and comment about any details on how I can better deal with this! Any suggestions are welcome!

Why Is Fear Holding Us Back? (Guest Post)

By Stefan

Fear – it’s an unpleasant and rather strong emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. It can keep us alive, but in most cases, it holds us back from leaving our comfort zone and enjoying life
completely. In this modern day and age, there are many different types of fear. Young people are afraid
of consequences and this is exactly why most of them are scared of exploring uncharted territories, like
the world of HIV dating for example. Sadly, there are thousands of reported cases of people giving up on
their potential companions simply because they’re HIV positive. This is just one example of how fear can
shape our lives today. If you want to know what the other great fears of our time are, and how they’re
holding us back, stick around and find out.

Fear Of Failure
This is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most frequent fears of our time. The majority of people
dream about the big success and the slightest possibility of failure absolutely petrifies them. This
particular fear creates certain limitations in a person’s mind and because of that, an individual is not
able to perform in the best possible way. Some people are so afraid that they can’t even make the first
step. Being afraid of failure paralyzes most of us and holds us back throughout our lives.

Fear Of Rejection
No one likes to be rejected, that is a fact! However, asking someone out is one of the most stressful
moments in modern-day relationships. People are terrified of rejection and this fear prevents them from
asking the question. This is rather ironic because if you don’t ask someone out, you can’t possibly know
what their answer is going to be. Therefore, individuals who are afraid of being rejected are constantly
floating in some sort of limbo of uncertainty and doubt which prevents them from being happy.

Fear Of Getting Ill Or Sick
These days, there are many people who have irrational fears of diseases and death. These folks are
called hypochondriacs and, unfortunately, they’re simply not able to live their lives to the fullest. As we
mentioned in the intro, some of these people are even afraid of dating others because they might get
infected with some sort of STD. This irrational phobia is one of the biggest reasons why HIV positive
dating scene is so neglected today.

Fear Of Being Alone
We have to admit that loneliness is quite scary. Millions of people all around the world are wasting their
time with wrong partners just because they’re terrified of being alone. Since they don’t want to be single
for a little while, they’re simply not able to find a potentially perfect companion for them.

Fear Of Being Judged By Others
Nowadays, everyone is absolutely obsessed with other people’s opinions. Young individuals just want to
be accepted which means they’re afraid to be themselves in public or around other people. They would
rather be fake than judged and this is exactly what prevents them from developing into unique
characters.

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